Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[bowlofpetunias]

This is a great thread!

Years ago on the Key Largo reefs, we had an older female diver surface from her dive very upset. She re-boarded the boat, and then demanded angrily that we do something to stop the swells on the surface. (!) We honestly thought she was kidding, but she was not. She was adamant about it ... sat out the second dive, and then upon returning to the dock, she complained to the resort owner that we would not calm the surface out at the dive site.

I remember a while back in the favourite dive tshirt thread someone had a DM named Jesus and had shirts made up that said My dive guide is Jesus or something like that.. maybe the dive op should consider........

 

[Blazinator]

This is a great thread!

Years ago on the Key Largo reefs, we had an older female diver surface from her dive very upset. She re-boarded the boat, and then demanded angrily that we do something to stop the swells on the surface. (!) We honestly thought she was kidding, but she was not. She was adamant about it ... sat out the second dive, and then upon returning to the dock, she complained to the resort owner that we would not calm the surface out at the dive site.

You can't be serious. Smart enought to get dive certified, but dumb enough to do that?

Although it does sound like the kind of person that Captain Bob from Horizon Divers would run into. (Not a slam on Horizon - love them to death, especially Capt Bob).

 

[cappyjon431]

Today I had a student who was very nervous about doing a backroll off the boat. She asked me "Why do most divers fall back into the ocean?" I thought about it for a moment and replied, "Well, if you fall forward INTO the boat it is really going to hurt." She looked perplexed, but I am happy to report that she mastered the skill very well.

 

[inventor]

From the Colbert Report 'The Word', talking about healthcare;

'Couldn't breathing just be called oxygen addiction?'

Onscreen:

Or Restless Lung Syndrome?

 

[diverdoug1]

During a Spare Air Scubaboard dicussion
"I would suck a fart out of a donkey's ass if it ment me making it back to the surface"

 

[ScubaSteve]

Excellent call diverdoug1

During a Spare Air Scubaboard dicussion
"I would suck a fart out of a donkey's ass if it ment me making it back to the surface"

Bob is a hilarious guy ......Wookie also has that in his sig line so every time I read one of his posts I see that quote and roll over laughing.


Edit


This is the actual link/post......to see the thread click the little blue arrow/square

I suppose you could always keep a few sanitary wipes in your pocket for emergencies.

Frankly, I'd suck a fart out of a donkey's ass if that's what it took to make it to the surface alive ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Deefstes]

......Wookie also has that in his sig line so every time I read one of his posts I see that quote and roll over laughing.

Ditto

 

[SeahorseDeb]

I'm in. Just remember that at altitudes above 10,000 feet you need to breathe supplemental O2, and to wear the parachute, the tanks need to be set up as sidemounts. Don't forget to switch from O2 to your diving gas of choice before submerging.

LOL, So do you mount the tanks on your shoulders or at the waist for a effortless water entry

 

[ChangeAgent]

Just wrote to a dive operator in the Philippines (to check maximum dive time) as I like to make sure I get not puled out of the water after 30 minutes with more tan 110Bar left because all the other divers are steam boats. the answer was: "60 minutes only, as our tanks last exactly one hour". technology is advancing folks, sure for sale in a shop near you soon.

 

[cappyjon431]

I was just recalling a time when I worked on a liveaboard with one of my instructors. I remember once in the Bahamas we were moored at a dive site and the boat had swung over a sandy area. The water was a beautiful blue green color. One of our guests who apparently collected little vials of sea water from all around the world asked me if I could "move the boat over to the area where the water was a deep blue color so she could collect a sample." I had to explain to her that the "deep blue" area was thousands of feet deep and that in a vial it would be the same water that we were currently diving in.