Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[SCUBAJENNIFER]

It would have been harder, but I was able to unload a bit earlier on a boater who decided to park 20' from the dive flag to cast. He moved, but the looks on my students faces said I may have been a tad aggressive in my request.

There is the Dave I know and love!!

 

[DeltaWardog]

I'm in. Just remember that at altitudes above 10,000 feet you need to breathe supplemental O2, and to wear the parachute, the tanks need to be set up as sidemounts. Don't forget to switch from O2 to your diving gas of choice before submerging.

You lowlanders, jeez. I didn't take any supplemental O2 with me the last time I climbed a 14'er, and I'm pretty sure that's more strenuous going up than falling down.

Best quote I've heard was my OW instructor telling us "Carrying a dive knife is very important, especially if there are sharks around. If a shark comes at you, take your knife out..... stab your buddy, and swim as fast as you can back to the boat".

 

[Doc Harry]

Overheard on a beach as I was making a shore entry:

Fat Chick #1: "Oh look, a scuba diver."

Fat Chick #2: "I once had a boyfriend who was a scuba diver. You know, scuba divers are just rich people who have nothing better to do with their time."

 

[Noboundaries]

I sent a dive report e-mail with pictures recently to family and friends concerning our recent trip to Cozumel. Several of the recipients are divers, including my sister who got certified last Fall and has only done three dives since her OW. In the e-mail I explained my wife's episode of skin bends on our fourth consecutive day of diving after our 11th dive. I stated "we learned more about Decompression Sickness (DCS) than we cared to know on this vacation."

My sister writes back, "Is DCS contagious? Can you catch it wearing a wetsuit?"

I'm diving with her next month. Pray for me.

 

[dive_lover88]

oooo....man...will keep u prayers .

 

[brutus_scuba]

That particular incident may not have happened but I work in I.T., and I usually get 3-5 calls/complaints a week that something just "stopped working" or doesn't work at all, and it's either off or got unplugged.

Ever get a call because the cup holder was broken? You know the cup holder from the DVD-ROM company that comes out when you press the button?

 

[chrisP42]

Ever get a call because the cup holder was broken? You know the cup holder from the DVD-ROM company that comes out when you press the button?

Not me, but I actually had the following conversation:

caller: the program doesn't respond.
me: ok, please close the window.
caller: ok, just a second...
*sounds of phone being put on the desk, steps, rumbling, steps again, phone being picked up again*
caller: ok, I've closed the window. Uhm, can you tell me what that has to do with my problem?
me:

 

[DeltaWardog]

I used to work for Microsoft back in dark ages of Windows 95 as tech support. I actually took a call from a lady who had dragged her c:\windows folder into the Recycle Bin. She thought it would "clean everything up" and give her a "fresh new windows 95".

That was a long call.

 

[diver_paula]

Please, Please, Please keep this a SCUBA quote thread. The IT quotes are always priceless but I just got disappointed thinking there was a new SCUBA funny!

 

[tc]

Irony-

http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/3498435-post1.html