First ocean open water, so disappointed

[Jackie W]

Before I say anything, thank you to any one who reads this. Let me start off by saying I am an extremely new diver, I just certified on April 8, 2017. My boyfriend, son, and I had to make an unplanned trip to San Diego. So we decided to plan a guided dive at La Jolla Shores to get some practice for our trip to Thailand in June. My son was certified with me, but my boyfriend has roughly 20 dives under his belt. In any case, I have been dealing with some anxiety with diving, but I was really excited to go this morning, since I worked my butt off to get past it to certify. Extra, classes, the whole bit. We signed up to have a single instructor for the 3 of us to make it less stressful for me. We went this morning, and I had a little anxiety because it was not only my first ocean open water, but also my first cold water dive. I certified at The Crater in Utah, which is a hot spring dive. So, I almost wear myself out trying to get a 7mm wetsuit and hood on, which I've never worn. Other than suit and tank, I do have all my own gear because I'm really small and my boyfriend said it would help with my anxiety. In any case, I needed help making it past the breaks, by which time I was pretty tired. But I was glad I made it. So when it's time to start heading down, I realize I'm starting to feel claustrophobic. I can't catch my breath, so I come back up after about 3 feet. I tried it again, but I start getting more and more anxious because visibility is literally about a foot. After about 15 minutes I'm in full blown panic attack and in tears because I'm struggling so bad. My boyfriend and I decided to call the dive and the instructor continued with my son (who did awesome). I'm so incredibly disappointed in myself and I don't know how to get past it. They were really really supportive, and said I just tried too much new stuff at once. I completely agree with that, but I'm so upset with myself. Not only did I waste A LOT of money, but I couldn't get past 3 feet and I've been down almost 30. I really really love diving so far, but I don't know how to get past this block. Any constructive advice would be greatly appreciated. I have two weeks of diving planned in June and I don't want to let everyone, including myself down.

 

[clownfishsydney]

Find a better and easier dive site. Sounds like this was not the best spot to do your first real dive, especially considering your anxiety.

 

[Marie13]

Don't worry about it! I had to call my first OW dive. Viz was arms length in a Midwestern quarry. With a dry suit. The vis screwed with my head. It was like swimming in green jello with a sandstorm going on at the same time. Didn't do the other 2 dives on day 1. Made up dive 1 the following day and got the rest of my dives in and certified a few weeks later in early October

I had anxiety issues, too. Much pool work this winter. I've been diving three out of the last four weeks in our quarry. I'm now up to dive 19. It can take some time. Baby steps. My buoyancy is still troublesome, but I'm taking my Advanced Buoyancy class tomorrow.

You'll get there. I will say claustrophobia is not one of my issues.

 

[RainPilot]

Hey Jackie.

First off, you are not the first or even thousandth person to go through this. It sucks and you feel like you suck and diving is impossible and.....

Relax. It's not as bad as it feels now.

When you got certified, you went from no underwater experience to creating a little comfort zone in the water for yourself. The problem with having no experience yet is that you don't realise how small that comfort zone really is. (Warm spring, no wetsuit, great vis etc etc)

The trick with expanding your comfort zone in a way that doesn't lead to an experience like you had is to only change one thing at a time. Cold? Fine. Thick wetsuit? Fine. Low vis? Fine. Breaker entry? Fine.

All at once? No way you are going to have a good time.

Expand your zone slowly. If you are going away in July, see if you can get some practice in before in a way that will help you.

Use a local pool and run your final CW session from your course in as close to the gear configuration you will be using on holiday as possible. The less capacity of your brain you are using for procedures, the more will be available to cope with the novelty and avert the fight or flight reflex.

Hang in there it does get better!!

 

[Jackie W]

Thank you. That's exactly what it looked like Marie. I know I'll get there, I'm just really disappointed. I thought I was ready. I don't normally have issues with claustrophobia, but I think the panic attack just exacerbated the issue. My boyfriend said cold water dives just might not be for me, at least right now.

 

[undrwater]

Thailand will be worlds different. You'll be fine.

 

[Marie13]

Cold water with better viz is a whole different story. Get a hood and wear it around the house. Get used to it.

Today I dove 51 degree water (39 ft). Viz was about 30-35 ft. Big difference to arms length viz.

 

[undrwater]

I don't normally have issues with claustrophobia, but I think the panic attack just exacerbated the issue.

The exposure protection needed for SoCal waters can sometimes feel constricting. It takes getting used to. Add low visibility, waves, and other unfamiliar items to the mix.

 

[SeaHorse81]

I'm just really disappointed. I thought I was ready.

That's an issue of unrealistic expectations, not personal deficiency. I hope you allow yourself to go nice and slow with your progression in this sport so that you can enjoy it for many years. You just tried way too much, too soon, because you're too new to know any better. The last thing you want is to push too hard and amass a catalog of bad experiences that sour you on diving altogether. Good luck, and may you have happier diving in the future.

 

[Rred]

Jackie-
First of all, you did the right thing. Knowing your limits and your comfort zone, and calling the dive when you are not 100% happy about it, is the right thing to do and it keeps you safe.
I'm a water rat, I'd rather be under it than swimming at the messy surface. And even then, after a long winter out of the water, I know that when I first go back in, I will have a moment of almost claustrophobia when the water closes up around me and I submerge for the first time. (The hood & wetsuit are not an issue for me, I guess because that's been the norm. It sure is nice when they are not needed though.)

In Thailand you will be in warm water. You will have great visibility. Let your guide or instructor know that you're new to this and want to start the first dive slowly, and don't be afraid to take your time getting settled in. You will have to deal with all new gear, adjusting things, all sorts of petty fuss that can get under your skin IF you let it. So just take your time, go over things one at a time until you are happy with them.

And if you have to call a dive, or take a "special" shore dive to get comfortable with the new gear and all? No big deal, just do what makes you comfortable.