I am curious why you ended up underweighted and having to hang onto a DM in order to conduct a dive? I don't want to sound critical or negative. You have spent all this time going over this stuff on this forum, attempting to fine tune and tweek all aspects of your configuration, asking for constructive criticism, engaged in several pool dives and then when you finally get in open water, you are inadequately equipped?
Obviously the OP is intelligent and diligent and seems to be somewhat meticulous about trying to get things right, but ended up with a fail. Not to make a big deal about it, it is a learning situation, but it is still a messed up dive and made the diver dependent on another, which is something to be avoided in openwater.
Again not being negative here. If it were me, with a ton of experience and no real knowledge of how much lead I would need with a new dry suit and undergarments, I would have had a ton of lead at my disposal and been prepared to drop lead off on shore.. especially if I was diving in a quarry which would make the logistics of this simple - as compared to jumping off a boat and having to come back to the boat to fine tune things. But I would have had MORE than enough lead.
I wonder if the reason for the modest underweighting was that the OP has heard over and over on here that a "good diver" does not need a lot of lead? Is it because we constantly hear about people bragging about how much lead they shed as they progressed? Did she try to fine tune and optimize her ballast because she was influenced by so much of the discussion on this topic on this forum?
She would have been much safer and better served if she wore 8 lbs too much lead, reports back that she had a little trouble with the bubble in her BC - that she was not satisfied with her trim - and next dive she will drop 4 lbs and see how it goes. To me, that would have been a much safer and more desirable outcome, but it runs 180 degrees to so much of the advice and discussion I read on this forum.
So am I am curious, was she influenced by this optimization (and minimization) of lead (theme) which caused her to end up having to hold hands to do the dive?