Fears, Panic, Anxiety... What Does It Do To You?

[-JD-]

Like you, I have a fairly severe fear of heights. Being in a tall building, or the thought of being in an exposed place, creates anxiety. Paradoxically, I love flying and always get a window seat, so it's not a rational fear at all.

Being underwater is calming for me too. I used to do some commercial diving, bottom of a well, blackwater, very tight spaces, no problem at all.

When I think back to the rare occasions when I had anxiety underwater they have were all due to overexertion and CO2 build-up. I learned to control the feeling and put the anxiety "back in the box." Literally, I visualized a box LOL. Focusing on a small item for a few seconds also helped but probably more due to stopping my activity and allowing my breathing to slow down. Now that I have learned CO2 is the issue, I can avoid the situation by moderating my activity level as needed.

I don't think CO2 retention is explained well enough in OW classes, in my experience. New divers -- who are already a little stressed and breathing hard in an unfamiliar environment -- are largely unprepared for potential onset of panic if they exert themselves during a dive. Putting more emphasis on how this occurs and how to manage it, beyond "Stop, think, act," would go a long way to building confidence and avoiding bad situations.

Oh yea, the "creeping doom" of C02!!! -- extended Covid masking - shudder!

 

[rob.mwpropane]

Put me in a murky lake with 2-foot vis and it might be a whole other story.

That's interesting. So far my kids get more anxiety the more they can see. Maybe that's because they started in a quarry? But being able to "see" the water above them freaks them out som. Being at the same depth with only ~ 10'-15' viz and it doesn't bother them at all.

Like you, I have a fairly severe fear of heights. Being in a tall building, or the thought of being in an exposed place, creates anxiety. Paradoxically, I love flying and always get a window seat, so it's not a rational fear at all.

Being underwater is calming for me too. I used to do some commercial diving, bottom of a well, blackwater, very tight spaces, no problem at all.

When I think back to the rare occasions when I had anxiety underwater they have were all due to overexertion and CO2 build-up. I learned to control the feeling and put the anxiety "back in the box." Literally, I visualized a box LOL. Focusing on a small item for a few seconds also helped but probably more due to stopping my activity and allowing my breathing to slow down. Now that I have learned CO2 is the issue, I can avoid the situation by moderating my activity level as needed.

I don't think CO2 retention is explained well enough in OW classes, in my experience. New divers -- who are already a little stressed and breathing hard in an unfamiliar environment -- are largely unprepared for potential onset of panic if they exert themselves during a dive. Putting more emphasis on how this occurs and how to manage it, beyond "Stop, think, act," would go a long way to building confidence and avoiding bad situations.

I love flying. I love stalling out in an aerobatic plane falling back to earth @ 900' / second in a Citabria. I love the window seat. It really is just when I'm standing on the edge of a cliff or thinking about it that I feel it. I'll still do it, I like it, but I recognize it as fear and it's not something that I go out of my way to experience. I would be fine to bungee, skydive, etc. There's a plan in place, I'd be fine. Excited I think.

I have gone out of my way to do blackwater diving for body retrieval and had zero issues with that. Was more anxious on the boat ride then actually in the water.

Everybody is different ... [Advance disclosure: Yes, I am probably weird.]

I have a healthy respect for heights - as in I don't want to accidentally fall, but I've joyously looked down over the edge of a 2,000' cliff in Yosemite. Jumping off into the void (bungee, glider, parachute, etc. - not done, but one the list ...) would certainly be a hurdle at first.

I have a deep, reflexive discomfort with my (naked) face under water at first - I think it is my hard-wired survival instinct. I now get over it quickly - a rational over instinctual control thing. Because I recognize it and understand it it has lost much of its power - more of a "startle" reaction now.



When I was first flying, I was out practicing at an other localish field that was unfamiliar, doing landings and takeoffs in a Cessna 152 (which isn't the very lightest thing around, but pretty close in common GA aircraft). There was a taxiway and row of hangers backed by trees perpendicular to the fairly narrow runway. As I was lined up, stable, and about to touch down (just a few feet off) I came abreast of that perpendicular and I was hit by a crosswind blast and almost instantly transported to the side off of the runway. Fortunately fresh training kicked in, I goosed the lightly loaded plane, climbed out and tried to restart my heart! All good.
But the later ongoing mental after-action report left me with (besides some insights about "reading" terrain and weather in advance) the thought that things could have gone really wrong -bang- and I could have died. I realized that I was going to die - sooner or later, and possibly notably sooner participating in elevated-risk activities. And then, I "accepted" death . I don't seek it, I strive to avoid it, I still have a strong survival instinct. But the advance acceptance of its inevitability robs much of the dread/fear/panic reaction in crisis situations and is ironically significantly pro-survival IMO.

I have tried to learn to observe, evaluate, then react. I still have stress reactions, and I'm working to be in better control, especially in the still pretty new to me, underwater environment.

Scary landing. I don't have my PP license yet, it'll be a while, but I have done a few simulated stalled landings and it's puckering to say the least.. a side wind like that would cause some fear for sure. Life flash before my eyes kind of feeling I would think.

 

[-JD-]

I have gone out of my way to do blackwater diving for body retrieval and had zero issues with that. Was more anxious on the boat ride then actually in the water.

Dutch makes made a pretty good training ground for low-viz diving at times. Pretty demystified for me now too.

Scary landing. I don't have my PP license yet, it'll be a while, but I have done a few simulated stalled landings and it's puckering to say the least.. a side wind like that would cause some fear for sure. Life flash before my eyes kind of feeling I would think.

There was no time for a replay reel. Over runway, blink, runway is off my wingtip, crap, act!
I've had other experiences as a passenger where I've watched the trainwreck coming - it is - interesting ... fortunately just some scratched paint and laundry instead of cartwheels.

I'm out of the game now. My flying costs doubled (fixed and hourly) in about a years time (C182 2004-2005). Made it too expensive to go punch holes in the sky for fun and I had no practical "mission". Wasn't maintaining proficiency and had a new baby - time to get out of my club slot. Maybe someday, finances allowing, I'll get some put-put for wind-in-my-hair stuff.

 

[Chavodel8en]

I wouldnt necessarily call it fear, more like anxiety - in enclosed spaces. I guess you would call it claustrophobia.

I get anxious in dry, above ground caves. I dont want to think how I'd be in an underwater cave. Not for me.

Also why I could never go on a cruise. The thought of being penned in an enclosed space, even as big as an entire boat - not fun to me.

 

[rob.mwpropane]

I wouldnt necessarily call it fear, more like anxiety - in enclosed spaces. I guess you would call it claustrophobia. I get anxious in dry, above ground caves. I dont want to think how I'd be in an underwater cave. Not for me. Also why I could never go on a cruise. The thought of being penned in an enclosed space, even as big as an entire boat - not fun to me.

I would absolutely call that claustrophobia in my unprofessional opinion I think there's just different levels of it. Some more severe than others.

My wife has that.. I do not. She's not terrible but the issue with my wife is she won't say anything about certain situations until she's already reached the point of "being done". It'll be 0-100 really fast.

 

[Tracy]

I don't have a lot of fears. I never have. Most of my life involved racing motorcycles, rock climbing, flying, jumping out of planes and off of things, and scuba diving.
What has always terrified me is the thought of knowing I am going to die and not being able to do anything about it. For example, making a bad decision in a cave and knowing full well I don't have enough gas to exit. Or pulling a reserve chute to have it not deploy either. That very thought is terrifying to me.
I do everything I can to mitigate the risks in the activities I enjoy. Be that ongoing training, gas and decompression planning, even things as simple as analysis and labeling. I am anal about them. Should I ever die in a diving related accident, I did not go out "doing what I love". I went out terrified and I hope people are able to figure out what happened and learn from the mistakes I made.

 

[Reef Madness]

My only real fear is being on the edge of something high. Like the OP said, it’s the strangest feeling. You’re standing there and don’t want to move but something is pulling you toward it. The first time it happened I was climbing a fire tower, with stairs and railings, and couldn’t go further. I just stopped, held on and waited while my pals finished the climb and came back down.

As a student pilot it was the thought of being the headline in the morning news if I did something dumb. Altitude never bothered me.

As for diving, I stick to my training and respect it enough that I don’t fear it. I’ve skipped some dives when I felt any anxiety. It’s supposed to be fun.

 

[rob.mwpropane]

I don't have a lot of fears. I never have. Most of my life involved racing motorcycles, rock climbing, flying, jumping out of planes and off of things, and scuba diving.
What has always terrified me is the thought of knowing I am going to die and not being able to do anything about it. For example, making a bad decision in a cave and knowing full well I don't have enough gas to exit. Or pulling a reserve chute to have it not deploy either. That very thought is terrifying to me.
I do everything I can to mitigate the risks in the activities I enjoy. Be that ongoing training, gas and decompression planning, even things as simple as analysis and labeling. I am anal about them. Should I ever die in a diving related accident, I did not go out "doing what I love". I went out terrified and I hope people are able to figure out what happened and learn from the mistakes I made.

I like that a lot. My "fears" are few and far between.. heights is one, but it doesn't stop me (or maybe I don't let it) from doing anything.

I think it can be hard to differentiate between fear and exceeding one's limitations depending what it is. Like skydiving in tandem with a reputable company, no fear at all... the idea of someone handing me a chute and saying have at it, terrifying.. but that exceeds my limitations.

Side note; If I'm being honest, I really need to start getting better about recording my gas. I'm pretty anal about all my other gear and the planning, but because I mix my own and no one else touches any of that I "think" I know what's in my tanks. I analyze after I'm done mixing, but I never mark them. I also test before I leave the morning of. I've been meaning to get some masking tape and a marker near my fill station for a bit.. I will before the next time I mix anything outside of just air. Good habit to get into. I don't want to be that guy.

My only real fear is being on the edge of something high. Like the OP said, it’s the strangest feeling. You’re standing there and don’t want to move but something is pulling you toward it. The first time it happened I was climbing a fire tower, with stairs and railings, and couldn’t go further. I just stopped, held on and waited while my pals finished the climb and came back down.

As a student pilot it was the thought of being the headline in the morning news if I did something dumb. Altitude never bothered me.

As for diving, I stick to my training and respect it enough that I don’t fear it. I’ve skipped some dives when I felt any anxiety. It’s supposed to be fun.

Heights are the only thing that I can think of that makes my heart race. I don't let it stop from climbing, looking over the edge, or any of that. But it's the one thing that I can "feel" that causes an involuntary reaction in me. Hands get a little clammy and I can feel a wave of what I assume is adrenaline that runs through me.

 

[jonhall]

I admit I was skeptical about divers, new or old, expressing fear/anxiety when diving, probably because I haven't truly experienced it myself, but had a change of heart on my last trip. First I observed a girl in her late 20's in an OW class - the class was working in a swimming pool. On the 2nd day of my observations, I got to the pool and saw her sitting in a lounge chair crying while everyone else was in the water. Turns out she got water in her nose, which caused her to have feeling of drowning. Apparently there is a name for this condition that a small percentage of people share. The op staff took her the next day and went through material she didn't complete with the others. All turned out well as she dove another day in some murky water and also was able to clear her mask on her first boat dive.

The second incident was with the DM, in training, who had also been working with the OW students. On one of my last days of diving, he (maybe in his late 20's - early 30's) had gone down on the dive (one of 2 DM's.) At some point he observed something in another diver that reminded him of a friend he had recently lost (not to diving.) He got anxious/emotional thinking about his friend and had to surface. He talked to my buddy about it later over a beer - appreciated that he could talk to someone about it. Super nice guy.

 

[NW Dive Dawg]

My primary fear in life is that I won't be there and fully prepared in an emergency or life threatening scenario where my family or friends or even strangers need me to be there. You can practice, drill, simulate train and theorize for hours and days and years.......but the true fact is that you can't really know how you will react until the shite really hits the fan. As instructors, I think many of us know that the superstar in the pool may be the most problematic in OW...... and in an emergency or survival scenario it's sometimes the most unlikely suspect that picks up the bit and shines through...

Education, training and proper equipment will ALWAYS be a plus..... but the simple fact is that until the "real" bullets start flying, no one really knows for sure if they will hide and whimper..... or if they will step up to the tee and perform as they had always expected and hoped that they would.

For those of us that have been in a real life emergencies, we may have a bit of solace in knowing and learning a bit more about ourselves and how we might expect ourselves to react...

Like Rob, I don't feel that I have much fear of physical things. As a skydiver, I have had a partial line-over malfunction and have gone though the process of needing to make a very difficult decision to cut-away or stick with a partial canopy and ride it out. Having gone through that and knowing for myself that I took the time to stop, think and then act, rather than panic, and that I am here to talk about it, has taught me a bit more about myself...... but still doesn't mean that I won't piss my drysuit and panic in a true UW emergency... It just gives me hope that I wont.

My most memorable underwater "emergency" was on a solo dive on the Kehloken wreck in 1998 in about 70 FSW off of Possession Point in Area 9 of the Puget Sound. Normally an easy dive that I knew well and had dived many times. It was Easter Sunday and my parents and wife were on the boat while I descended to get our Easter dinner of fresh Lingcod. The wreck is really not a penetration type scenario but rather a collapsed and dilapidated structure with plenty of snags. I descended into the structure, selectively and mercifully shot a 15lb male and then while dealing with the fish my mask was suddenly off and gone. Not sure if it was poor inspection of the strap on my part or if I had inadvertently snagged the strap on a sharp. I was early in the dive and relatively shallow so my initial thought was that I had plenty of gas and my immediate instinct was to Stop, Think and then Act. I calmed myself and considered that I was in the middle of the structure and that there could be obstructions if I decided to make a direct ascent. I felt around me with no luck on initially finding the mask. Confident that I had plenty of primary gas and my 19CF tank mounted, I took another 30 seconds to again Stop & Think. The weird thing was that my main concern and fear was not about myself but the fear of my wife and parents not having me make it back as expected and then them having to deal with my death. After another minute I found that I could take my thumb and forefinger and form an inverted "cup" with the skin of my hand sealed against my forehead. This allowed me to form a small air pocket with my exhausted bubbles and actually have clear vision below me. That was a "breakthrough" even though I did not see my mask. So I considered this revelation and then repeated it only this time concentrated on not looking for the mask but getting a glimpse of my SPG to find that I still had 2000+ of gas. That was step 1 and served to further calm me into knowing that I had time to work the problem. I repeated that process and was eventually able to locate my mask that was only a few feet from me and behind me. Once I had the mask on and cleared, the rest was a rather non eventful event and controlled ascent.

My main takeaways were:

1)I found that in that scenario I didn't panic and I worked the problem.

2) I will never do another solo dive without a spare mask onboard.