Dumbest things you've seen a newbie diver do

[SkimFisher]

My OW instructor was awesome, but there were people in my class that I wouldn't even snorkel with...

 

[Jane_dives]

When I first got certified twenty years ago I was gently batting a puffer fish from one hand to the other to make it inflate for a pic...just because they don't have teeth and look like they're smiling doesn't mean they can't bite your finger to the bone.

 

[Tigerman]

When I first got certified twenty years ago I was gently batting a puffer fish from one hand to the other to make it inflate for a pic...just because they don't have teeth and look like they're smiling doesn't mean they can't bite your finger to the bone.

Grats. Guess that taught you not do things like that?

 

[bowlofpetunias]

offthewall1, I completely agree with idocsteve, and the very fact that that's true should stop you in your tracks and give you furiously to think

I work in an ER. The litany of incredibly stupid things I've seen people do, and the incredible degree to which people are capable of misunderstanding what they are carefully told, has virtually no limits. For example, a woman came in to me because she had a toothache. She'd been to the clinic and they had seen her and prescribed pain medication. She had filled her prescription, but here she was in the ER. She hadn't TAKEN any of the pain med. Why? Because the pharmacist told her she could take it every four hours . . . and it hadn't been four hours yet.

You can instruct with loving care; you can ask your students questions and watch them like a hawk to try to be sure they really understood what you told them. But I can guarantee you that some of them are going to leave with imperfect memory or incomplete or erroneous understanding, or they're going to get creative, and they're going to do something "stupid". Hopefully it will be something funny and harmless, but I don't think anybody can count on that.

We have a saying.. "You must be an emergency services provider if you believe Too Stupid to live should be a recognized Diagnosis" I am sure we could share some interesting examples of this!

Now that I have left the active field and teach...

Someone here said... "Please God... can you just make Stupid painful?" Got news ... Stupid is painful.. for the instructors... of the 2,500 or so students I teach in a year.... some are brilliant.... some I am convinced flush everything they learn every time they go to the loo! They may be able to do the skills for the assessment but retaining anything much past their second cup of coffee... don't count on it! That doesn't make me a bad instructor... and I can't fail them if they perform the necessary tasks at the designated time in a designated way.

Here in OZ there are national standards and if I failed someone just because I was convinced they wouldn't remember next week.. well I would be in a lot of trouble for discrimination!

 

[Tortuga68]

When I first got certified twenty years ago I was gently batting a puffer fish from one hand to the other to make it inflate for a pic...just because they don't have teeth and look like they're smiling doesn't mean they can't bite your finger to the bone.

 

[NEWIN50]

Entertaining post.

I did the start to submerge while breathing off the snorkel trick - only once and quickley found out it was not my reg (first open water cert dive).

Went in on a boat dive (30deg water at depth), without my outer dry gloves on - just the liners on - figured that out quickly, but with wet hands (and outer dry gloves on), wound up with mighty cold hands by the end of the dive.

Headed off on my first deep dive in poor vis on a wreck, and had no idea how to find the mooring line - first open water ascent.

One of the early comments on this string pertained to dive buddies.

On a dive where I failed to keep track of my relation to the mooring line 90ft 5ft vis. I had a "insta" buddy that I really did not want to dive - with based on my first assesment of him. Tattoos, earrings, lip piercings - oh God, I thought please do not let me be paired up with him. Well, while I was in a near panic situation in poor vis doing my open water ascent cause I could not find the mooring line - this guy stuck right by me like glue. When we surfaced, he was right next to me asking if I was ok. This was my first boat dive about 6 miles offshore, with about three to four foot waves, new dry suit, etc.

This guy was a great dive buddy and we dove together on a number of later dives that went very well. Lesson, you really can't judge a book by its cover. I wish I could always be paired up with a buddy like that.

 

[Phreak]

Did a 'fun dive' with a local group here in Seattle. It was something new Divemasters were pressured into setting up here, and I went diving w/ an old diver from Israel that hadn't been in the water for 20 years and didn't understand what the whole BCD thing was about! After he corked from 35 to the surface three times in 20 min, I killed the dive...and wanted to kill him. Seriously.

 

[scubafanatic]

So, my buddy and I are on the dive boat in Grand Cayman waiting for the last divers to arrive. It's a perfect day, warm and sunny, gentle breeze. Five minutes late for the departure a Dad and son stroll down the dock to the boat pulling identical Oceanic rolling dive bags. The dive masters help them aboard and ask if they want help setting up gear. The bags are unzipped and inside........brand new oceanic kits. I mean brand new. I mean still in the boxes and wrappers. Regulators in boxes, octopus in its own box. Tags still on the BCs. Oceanic computers still in the boxes.

The dive operator is known for customer service so they immediately start assembling the gear. Running back to the shop to get the right tools, one of the DM even reading the computer manuals to figure out how to set things up. We had a chuckle as the younger guy strapped a sharp pointed knife to his arm.

Now these guys were probably not brand new divers. They were both on EAN. I may be making a presumption here. Maybe the shop that sold them the gear gave them an all inclusive training deal. In the end, the dive boat left 15 minutes late.

I would not have been as accommodating as the dive operator (but then again, I wasn't working for a tip). I hope they were well compensated by these divers. I did ask one of them afterward about their diving confidence. A DM stayed with them then whole dive.

In my opinion, these were incredibly rude divers. They were obviously not prepared. Who would even think about doing a dive without first personally assembling and testing gear in a more controlled setting? Who would wear and rely on a computer without fully reading the manual?

Any one else have similar observations or experiences?

WOW! ...that's about as obnoxious as one can be! Yet another reason I stick to trips where 'my' group has the whole boat (so 'we' can control who's on 'our' boat) or a liveaboard where Major Moron can do his/her thing and I can be a safe distance away! I don't mind a genuine newbie, a polite, sincere, eager-to-learn type...but being flat out inconsiderate/rude like that...I'm honestly not sure what my reaction would be, something that crazy would catch me completely off guard, I'd be in complete shock !

 

[shotgun.tycoon]

Not dangerous (well maybe it was slightly), but how about:
during the prep for dive, grabbed the mask and spit a big glob in it............... only to realize it was someone else's (same model and snorkel). Oh crap! Rinse quick and replace.

 

[The Kraken]

The same things that I've seen veteran divers do . . .

the K