It looks like you had some bad luck. I have never experienced it, and I always show a very high card, and in doing so, I am always grouped with the best divers.
I always share what I think is the most relevant card. Often that is an instructor card. I've found that a lot of other instructors are either intimidated or helpful.
Hell, sometimes I'm the one who's intimidated by other instructors... I can't get past the feeling that they are judging me.
OTOH, I have been taught things that I'd have never learned by instructors who did things every day that I do once a year. I've learned far more than I've shared in those situations, and I've helped out too.
I had a dive in the Carribean with an instructor who was a, "I do this every day, six days a week." type. We'd had a few dives together and had developed a little rapport. He was really f***ing good at some things, and only marginal at others, but he was affable and fun to be around.
One day, near the end of my trip, I was sitting around waiting for the boat when this very nice Canadian couple arrived. The husband was going to stay ashore and the wife was going to dive. She told me she was very nervous as she hadn't dived in years... I told her I'd be happy to buddy with her and in the time we spent waiting, I quizzed her on some skills. We talked about her anxieties and how she was "always the last person down and needed extra time to equalize."
I volunteered to be her buddy and told her I'd dive whatever depth she wanted to dive to.
My instructor buddy showed up at T - 2 and declared that I'd dive with the AOW guy who was diver #4 and he'd dive with my Canadian friend.
I didn't argue (sometimes, the instructor on scene knows more than me) and that's how we started. My buddy (AOW diver #4) was a complete mess, but we managed to dive the wreck we'd dropped on.
When we exited, I looked up to safety stop level and saw our instructor friend and our Canadian diver working through her issues. It was clear to me that my instructor friend hadn't ever dealt with a customer like my Canadian friend and he was being way too hands-off. I looked up and realized that if I didn't intervene, our dive was over.
I ascended from 100ish feet to their safety stop depth and I signaled to my compatriot - "Let's switch positions. You are the AOW guy's buddy and I'll take her as my buddy."
He readily agreed and we continued the dive.
He dropped to 100ish feet and guided the dive with my former AOW buddy, while I held my Canadian friend's hand and we slowly tracked down to them at 100ish feet. We all ascended and exited together.
On the boat, my Canadian friend was thankful I came back for her because she wasn't feeling comfortable with the guide/instructor. My AOW friend was thankful that I went with him through the boat while the instructor and the Canadian were occupied. Our instructor friend was thankful because I helped him, he learned a little from me, and he was able to guide a dive where everyone exited happy. I was thankful because I could clearly see that if I hadn't intervened, our guide would have called the dive and we'd have all gotten back on the boat unhappy.
My point here isn't to say, "Look at me, look at what I did!" but rather to say that being "not an ass" and being helpful with other divers is something that I aspire to, and I think everyone else should.
If you find a person who is intimidated by your qualifications and shows it - find someone else. When I had a former instructor and cave diver show up while I taught his GF an advanced class, I was a little intimidated, but my objective was to get him to teach me something I didn't know.
As it turns out, I achieved my objective that day.
