To answer a couple of questions:
CodyJP: Yes, I would have helped to pay for some damage, had it been something out of our control and not due to to his negligence. I've had situations where a buddy has handed me something and I've dropped it (2 instances- one was a map and one was a weight pouch) and I had no qualms about replacing it for them.
Daddy Diver: Yeah, I usually put my fins, gloves, and mask in my lobster bag when I'm in a kayak or small boat because it contains all my stuff in one place and it's easy to secure. I am just glad that I didn't put all the usual gear into the bag on this incident. Also, I did stow my gear where it was safe- in the bow of the boat on the floor, in front of me.
SharkDZ: Yes, I'm definitely not diving with this guy anymore. I think an attitude of "**** happens" when misfortune strikes is not somebody I want to rely upon when things go wrong.
Evad: No, I didn't pay for gas. He'd called me up and invited me to come along. We were talking about future trips to Catalina and the gas costs of that, but since we were going a scant mile or less to the breakwater and back, he didn't seem to think the gas costs were substantial to warrant asking me to chip in for it.
THesley: I definitely feel partly responsible for not checking where he placed the bag and for not making sure he was handling it in the right way. I don't think he would have offered the $30, since he said that even that was too much for something beyond his control.
Night Diver: When I looked back and didn't see my bag, I asked him where it was. He looked around, realized it was gone, and said "Sorry, man." I wasn't upset, and I calmly asked if he would replace it. I didn't get in his face or get a temper or anything. He asked how much it was, and I told them. I was pretty laid back about the whole thing, and he was too, until his attitude suddenly turned 10 minutes later at the boat. Up till then, the whole time he was chatting about the dive and what we saw and stuff. Even when he got icy, I told him I didn't want to talk about this with anger, and tried to keep things civil.
Also, when did I personally attack the guy and slam his lobster diving skills? I tried to not do that, and if I did, please show me where so I can edit it out.
I think you might be thinking of that other post I wrote about a totally different dive buddy, and even then, I don't see how you concluded that I said anything derogatory about his hunting skills from that. Anyways, I have not posted the name of the diver in question.
Randolph: Sorry to hear about inconsiderate boating guests, but sometimes people don't know the cost and trouble that you incur when you're a boater. i am sure you know waaay more than the average person does about it and they have no idea what you have to do to keep it going.
Whenever I've gone on a private boat, the owner has always brought up sharing fuel costs well in advance, and I've always been happy to do so.
I realize it's tricky with friends because you could just be bringing them along as a gesture of friendship, and they might not feel obliged to pay for something they're invited upon or that a friend treats them to. I guess the best way is to make it clear from the start. If you ask, you shall receive, right? If you don't ask, people might not know what they can do to help you or show their appreciation.
thanks again for all the responses. It's been interesting to see how divers as a group react to this. By far the most common answer is something like "Your gear is your responsibility- no matter what the case is."
Whereas the people in the general public have said it's more a question of who handled it last is the one who is responsible.