Conspiracy.....................................

[Iguana Don]

Conspiracy, yep that’s what it is alright…………..

After much research and study I uncovered what just might be the largest conspiracy put upon MANkind. I have studied all sorts of reference books, aged writings and even the Egyptian hieroglyphics, the Bible, found mention of it in the Dead Sea Scrolls. This is bigger than the Kennedy Assassination, the black helicopters, the UFO cover-up, Milsovec’s genocide and the Govt’s plot to take away all of our guns. I am not talking about some miniscule or trivial conspiracy; I am talking about the Granddaddy of them all.

Men will know what I am talking about just as soon as I announce it. Women, you have been dogged on this one and once the “cat is outta the bag” you will have to come up with some other scheme.

I am talking about the Great Sock Conspiracy. Yep ladies, I’ve got your number on this one and there ain’t no turnin back now.

I have been a bachelor for some time and have been doin my own laundry for about 7 years now and guess what. I haven’t lost one single sock. But during the time I was married I would lose a sock EVERY wash day. My wife would walk by with this smug look on her face and say, “OBTW you lost a sock.” I now know from careful and intense study that this is a conspiracy by you women to drive us men crazy.

But rest assured I will not stop until I have absolute proof. What proof you ask? The great sock stash, the one that you women started back at the beginning of time. Somewhere on this planet is a stash of unmatched, unwashed socks. From my estimate, somewhere around 168 trillion socks. It shouldn’t be too hard to find, the EPA probably knows where it is, but unlike me they are unaware of the importance of this odor. Once I find it, even though I may not survive the discovery, (the stench must might overtake me) I will let the world and MANkind know about it, and then “You’ll have to eat your lunch all by yourself,” cuz “We ain’t gonna take it no more.”

Stay tuned for more important revelations!

ID - The Discoverer

 

[chepar]

Now you know you've done it, ID.

We're just going to have to think of something new and start from scratch. Hmmm . . . the remote control has interesting possibilities.

 

[ckharlan66]

You know I haven't lost a sock since I have lived on my own either! You may be on to something here.

Chad

 

[Goeduck]

Haven't you heard? All the lost socks in the world are in.......

A WAREHOUSE IN YAKIMA, WA.

:bonk:

 

[esmiami]

What are socks?

 

[AquaTec]

At my house my EX wife has a pet behind the washing machine, she feeds it every day with on of my socks. the pet gets board easily so he never likes to eat to eat the same meal twice. hencce he only eats one out of every pair of socks


we call my EX wifes pet the sock monster.


however I get even with her. Yellow Lab, he eats her underwear, not all the underwear, just turns them into crotchless underwear which she never wore for me.

so in the divorce i left her the Lab....don't tell her, cause she also insisted on keeping the sock monster too.

this last part is evident by the fact that since I moved out I have never lost a sock......she is still having the underwear problem though....and she still won't wear them


By the way the reason we are divirced, the sock bill was killing me, i just couldn't go on spending all my money on buying socks, only to be sent to work with non matching pairs of socks.
it came down to the socks or her. well now i go to work with matching socks

 

[bottom_sucker]

I hear ya on this one, my wife and daughter do laundry most times. (I do occasionally perform task out of dire necessity. )

The results are that there is a hamper of single socks for me, and my 2 sons. Only real problem in summer when wear shorts and need 2 the same length, winter and long pants cover mismatchs. Great way to start day is sorting through hamper to get 2 same size, toe colour, heel colour and thickness to wear for the day. Problem with getting new socks is boys dig out of my stash for themselves....................


Why didn't Einstein tackle this instead of relativity?? :doctor:

Dave

 

[dmdalton]

Simple solution is have only 2 types of socks. Black for dress (all the same kind and white for atheletic activities. There are no mismatches, if one gets a hole in it it gets thrown away and when you get down to only 2 socks of any given color (white or black) go buy some more. It's a system that has held up for 26 years of marriage.

You guys really need to get a life if this is all you have to worry about!
:mean:

Now what do I do about my wife losing all my briefs?

 

[TCDiver1]

Area 51 ... gotta be. Aliens, shmaliens. Warehouses full of socks, underground bunkers full of socks, fake sock stuffed cactus in plain site everywhere.

Oooh the humanity of it all. Why do they have to do that to our socks? It just ain't right.

 

[MikeFerrara]

In my house it has gone far beyond socks and I think the kids may be in on the TV remote plot. Trust me socks are just the first step. There is not telling where this might lead if it isn't stopped.