Close call in the dressing room

[cutt]

OK, so now that I have wiped the tears from my eyes and cleaned the keyboard here's my story.

Background: S. FL diver so suits are only used in the winter months. I went through medic school in 07-08 so I did not do any diving in the winter months. I did manage to add some extra insulation from all of the fast food eating on the run, If you work and go through medic school in FL you realize you have no spare time. So after school ends I get back into my fitness program and drop about 25 lbs and feel in the best shape of my life.

So as the winter months are coming this past year I figure I better try on my 3mm shorty suit, thinking that it may be too large since I lost so much weight. Legs go on a little snug but the torso seems baggy, ok no problem. Then the arms, a little bit more difficult and the zip. Looking in the mirror I think, wow this suit really compresses my arms and legs but the torso is way big. About this time I realize that my face is bright red, I have JVD and I can't feel my arms anymore. By the time I can manage to reach the zipper and pull the damn thing off I am left with bruises on my arms and felt like I was going to have permanent scars from the stitching cutting into my body. Fortunately I can get it off and immediately turn to the internet in search for a new suit, figuring I would go with a full suit since I only wear it during the winter. I find a nice henderson similar to my wifes suit and am not sure about the sizing so I grab my wifes suit and try it on for a size check. Wouldn't you know if fits great except for the arms and legs being about 2 inches too short. About this time the wife pulls in from work and I race to get the suit off. She comes in and I am all sweaty and she wonders what I am doing. I tell her that I just returned from running since I didn't have the heart to tell her that I fit in her wetsuit. Sometimes a little white lie is necessary to preserve the wifes happiness.

 

[ScubaSteve]

OK, so now that I have wiped the tears from my eyes and cleaned the keyboard here's my story.

Background: S. FL diver so suits are only used in the winter months. I went through medic school in 07-08 so I did not do any diving in the winter months. I did manage to add some extra insulation from all of the fast food eating on the run, If you work and go through medic school in FL you realize you have no spare time. So after school ends I get back into my fitness program and drop about 25 lbs and feel in the best shape of my life.

So as the winter months are coming this past year I figure I better try on my 3mm shorty suit, thinking that it may be too large since I lost so much weight. Legs go on a little snug but the torso seems baggy, ok no problem. Then the arms, a little bit more difficult and the zip. Looking in the mirror I think, wow this suit really compresses my arms and legs but the torso is way big. About this time I realize that my face is bright red, I have JVD and I can't feel my arms anymore. By the time I can manage to reach the zipper and pull the damn thing off I am left with bruises on my arms and felt like I was going to have permanent scars from the stitching cutting into my body. Fortunately I can get it off and immediately turn to the internet in search for a new suit, figuring I would go with a full suit since I only wear it during the winter. I find a nice henderson similar to my wifes suit and am not sure about the sizing so I grab my wifes suit and try it on for a size check. Wouldn't you know if fits great except for the arms and legs being about 2 inches too short. About this time the wife pulls in from work and I race to get the suit off. She comes in and I am all sweaty and she wonders what I am doing. I tell her that I just returned from running since I didn't have the heart to tell her that I fit in her wetsuit. Sometimes a little white lie is necessary to preserve the wifes happiness.

 

[cutt]

Good thing I use Google Chrome and she hasn't converted from IE yet!

 

[sskasser]

ROFLMAO!!

 

[Scuba31]

This is the best thread on SB ever! Thanks for the entertainment and the great advice!!

 

[bowlofpetunias]

I hate wetsuits... in particular I hate my 5 mil two piece wetsuit It is the devil's work. I can ignore it's existence all summer while I dive in the sharkskin. When water temps start hanging around 17 C I start to curse the thing... I glare at it hanging there for several dives. When I stumble out of the water with feet numb and white from the cold I curse it some more as I face the reality... winter and Wetsuit weather is here! I hate winter! I hate the way that vile black and blue neoprene makes me feel all tight and constricted it makes me think of the Shell Silverstein Song.... I'm being swallowed by a Boa Constrictor!

Hubby has got so fed up with my complains he has been telling me to buy a 3 mil.... the dive shops have been showing me their nice new stretchy suits.... Try one on you'll love it!

How about this one... it should fit.... Dive Op handing me one I know is the wrong size.. but :dreaming: it would be so kewl if he was right and I did fit that size.

Off to the dressing room.... "easy go.. it's over my toe... oh gee what's with the knee?" "oh my it fit my thigh!" "oh fiddle it won't go round my middle" :doh: what's with the zip? craning my head to look ... the knee pads are on the back of my knees... :doh: zip is supposed to be in the back!

Huffing and puffing... I manage to pull it off. Take the suit out to the rack... Dive Op..."How'd it fit?" Me "didn't" Op "how about this one... ?" Me "NOPE.. had enough for one day"

After a few more aborted tried we are up at ITR and winter is looming... Time for another go... Now I have a good idea of size and realistic enough to admit it.

"oh see I can manage the knee" I remember the zip is in the back... "oh my it fits the thigh" "don't have to fiddle it goes round my middle" stretching and huffing and puffing... "oh Darn a problem with the arm!" "what the heck I can get it up to my neck!"

now for the zip..... I start circling around grabbing for the cord like a dog chasing my tail. .... not working and I am getting too out of breath to risk putting my head between my legs... "Visions of AW come to mind" I sit down on the floor and start dragging my behind along untill I get the end of the cord in my hand.:shocked2:

Wiggling my backside and tugging on the cord it unsuccessful so I have to call in asisstence. It almost fits... the decision is to order this size in the wide model (to fit my muscular arm of course)

Off for some privacy to remove the suit.:mooner: It is a bad idea to grip the suit at the neck with both hands and try to pull it down over your shoulders.... more wiggling and sweating and my arms are now pinned to my sides like a Penguin ( a terrible insult to a Redwings supporter). Rubbing myself along the wall I stuggle until my arms are tight to my sides with my hands dangling like the Penuin's usless wings. No other options ... I have to waddle down the hall and ask for help:blush:

When the new suit arrived at our home.. I laid it carefully on the bed in the spare room and glared at it for a while.. well.... for a couple weeks Hubby keeps asking.. have you tried on your new suit yet? Me "hummph.... I hate wetsuits!" Water temps forced my hand... and I must admit that 3mil wetsuit is almost worth it......

 

[almitywife]

i should have been there for you Petunia!



hehehe.. can i laugh now

 

[bowlofpetunias]

My thoughts exactly...lesson one-no hooded vests. Lesson two-always try on wetsuits with a reliable buddy!!

Makes me feel very very wary of wetsuits!!

i should have been there for you Petunia!



hehehe.. can i laugh now

:blush: I didn't even want my faithful P sister to see me in that state. When I finally tried the one on at home... I waited till fish was in the garage... close enough that I could penguin walk out to him... far enough away he wouldn't see the gyrations....


See I am the first in the thread to put their post to music lol

 

[song]

I'm in tears. Love this thread. Good thing I'm alone in my office. Clearly an advanced course is needed. I can think of several LDS dressing room almost-emergencies, but this was the most recent incidence:

Got back from Bonaire a week ago. Took my brand new InstaDri suit along. I'd read the reviews...that it's hell to put on for the first 10 or so dives until it breaks in. Struggled into it after some effort but found taking it off a bit more challenging. After the second dive I'm sitting on the truck tailgate, have got it off down to both lower legs. Dive SO decides to be "helpful" and gives a huge yank on the suit. Any guesses? Yep, got jerked off the truck onto my butt....suit still stuck on both legs. Dive SO sez, "I thought you were holding onto the truck." Other divers rolling around in the back of their trucks, laughing their asses off.

 

[PullmanSCUBA]

Amazing thread. I am at work and laughing ass off. I can relate to a lot of these. Never dress alone.

My story is with a hood. I was out on my first OW dive and picked out a hood that was the "right" size for me. I got it on with no trouble and headed out to the water. I did my first dive and came up and got my tank re-filled and headed back to the water. I come out after the second dive and we are taking a lunch break so I decided to take the hood off. I gave my hood a tug from the bottom of the face hole and up it went...sort of. I got it over my mouth and nose and could not get it off. I then realized that it is really hard to breath with a hood over you face and nose...in fact it is impossible. I regained composure and pulled the hood back down so I could breath and attempt it again. The second attempt went much better, and resulting in the hood coming off. I was talking to one of my friends that took the class with me and I said I wonder what the headlines would have read. "Local Man Dies After Battle With Hood."