I usually think that if I'm within 45 feet of the surface, and my buddy wants to peel off and get on the boat, it's ok. If you can keep a bead on the boat, and you're just poking around without going deep again, you're fine. Buddies are really key at your experience level (mine too) but you don't really need a babysitter.
Buddy got bent, sort of...
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Leejnd
Contributor
After reading the rest of this thread, and going back and re-reading the original post and my response, I'm going to offer my apologies for suggesting that you got too far away from your buddy. I misunderstood -- I got the impression that he didn't want to continue the dive, and you kept on, going deeper, even though he didn't want to. Now that I read your response I see that I was wrong about that. If you were only 7 feet away from him for a few moments, as you explained here, then that's not abandoning your buddy. Again, my apologies for misreading that.
One thing I should have said in my earlier post is that one of the "red flags" that I mentioned about your relationship that led me to suggest that it might be doomed is the fact that he's blaming you for him getting bent. Out of your whole story, that struck me the most (other than the fact that he said he never worked on dive tables in his OW class!). You didn't make him do this dive, you're a newer diver than he is, why on earth would it be YOUR fault? That just bugged me. We're each responsible for ourselves. And besides, like most in here have said, I doubt he was bent anyway. But even if he was, why blame you? That's just bad relationship skills!
(I do want to say that I don't appreciate being referred to as a lou lou because I expressed my opinion. Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing in here -- discussing these things? She posted and asked for opinions. I'm not an expert, but I'm trying to suck up all the info I can, and one of the key things that is being force-fed to me on every dive is the buddy team concept, so that's what I talked about, based on my understanding of her post.)
I still think that doing a 100 ft dive for your first post-cert dives is extreme, and I would fault the DM for bringing you on that dive. Even though I know lots of people ignore the rule, the fact is that OW only certifies you to dive to 60. I didn't do a dive past 60 until my AOW class. I'm just not comfortable with pushing the limits and ignoring rules of thumb in such a dangerous sport.
As for the suggestion that scuba diving is NOT as dangerous as I said (i.e. only one breath away from dying) I respectfully disagree...especially at 85+ feet. If you're at 40 feet and you go OOA and cork, you'll more than likely be fine. But 85? I think that it's just not wise to minimize the risks inherent in diving. I personally don't intend to end my life underwater, and having a health respect for the risks involved in this sport is, I hope, what's going to keep me alive.
I'm glad that you had a great rest of your trip and have taken to diving so well. Diving is not for everyone. Sounds like it's not for your BF.
One thing I should have said in my earlier post is that one of the "red flags" that I mentioned about your relationship that led me to suggest that it might be doomed is the fact that he's blaming you for him getting bent. Out of your whole story, that struck me the most (other than the fact that he said he never worked on dive tables in his OW class!). You didn't make him do this dive, you're a newer diver than he is, why on earth would it be YOUR fault? That just bugged me. We're each responsible for ourselves. And besides, like most in here have said, I doubt he was bent anyway. But even if he was, why blame you? That's just bad relationship skills!
(I do want to say that I don't appreciate being referred to as a lou lou because I expressed my opinion. Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing in here -- discussing these things? She posted and asked for opinions. I'm not an expert, but I'm trying to suck up all the info I can, and one of the key things that is being force-fed to me on every dive is the buddy team concept, so that's what I talked about, based on my understanding of her post.)
I still think that doing a 100 ft dive for your first post-cert dives is extreme, and I would fault the DM for bringing you on that dive. Even though I know lots of people ignore the rule, the fact is that OW only certifies you to dive to 60. I didn't do a dive past 60 until my AOW class. I'm just not comfortable with pushing the limits and ignoring rules of thumb in such a dangerous sport.
As for the suggestion that scuba diving is NOT as dangerous as I said (i.e. only one breath away from dying) I respectfully disagree...especially at 85+ feet. If you're at 40 feet and you go OOA and cork, you'll more than likely be fine. But 85? I think that it's just not wise to minimize the risks inherent in diving. I personally don't intend to end my life underwater, and having a health respect for the risks involved in this sport is, I hope, what's going to keep me alive.
I'm glad that you had a great rest of your trip and have taken to diving so well. Diving is not for everyone. Sounds like it's not for your BF.
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Plenty close for me - wouldn't want one any closer.divermatt:
Shannon - ignore the cracks about your relationship; totally uncalled for. He may or may not become a diver, but it's no one's place to judge your relationship of many facets.
Your diving was fine and safe, newbies often go deeper than Padi authorizes - and my I remind others that this IS the newbie forum. I would suggest a Nitrox course before your next trip.
ilot:Cannot agree on this one at all - NO! Totally disagree. I hope you change that attitude.
Leejnd
Contributor
DandyDon:Your diving was fine and safe, newbies often go deeper than Padi authorizes - and my I remind others that this IS the newbie forum. I would suggest a Nitrox course before your next trip.
Given that this IS the newbie forum, I don't necessarily agree that it's a good idea to be telling newbies to go beyond what they are trained and certified for -- whether you agree with the certifying agency's tactics and rules or not. Diving deeper than 60 feet requires more than you get in the standard OW class.
Couldn't help but make the relationship comments -- having been married to someone who blames me for everything that goes wrong in HIS life. I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone, and I can't help but want to advise her to run for the hills. But I agree that this is not really the right place for that, so your ding is acknowledged.
DandyDon:
Indeed. Buddys should finish the dive together. Lots of problems *can* happen at the surface, especially for a new diver. The fact that the "buddy" (in this case I don't like the term) *has* to contunue diving "solo" is also not a good idea.
-j-
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Texasdivechick
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Yeah, after I humbly apologized to him for "taking him down so deep", this idea occurred to me. He is usually happier in front of the tv, with remote in hand and the a/c on. I, on the other hand, can barely sit still long enough to watch tv. Besides, I was on vacation! I wanted to get out of the hotel and just DIVE! So basically after his dry dive in the chamber, he got exactly what he wanted! TV and AC. But unfortunately, no G/F!!!! ;-)
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Well, Lee - I didn't mean to say it was that good of an idea, sorry if I sounded so - but it happens all the time. Newbe goes to the Caribe or some other exotic dive area, DM leads them on a dive, they follow. Perhaps the agencies would do better to agree for all to teach better OW courses, as many OW divers will go on those trips, do those dives - and usually just become better divers, but with a lot of luck.Leejnd:
I noticed you list Tahiti, Moorea, Bora Bora, the Marquesas Islands, St. Thomas, St. Martin, and Isla del Cano as some of your dive trips - very, very nice. Never went below 60 until you got your Aow...?
DandyDon:
I agree, the question was about getting bent, not " should I ditch my boyfriend".
Leejnd:
Thats too funny, I blame my wife for everything that goes wrong, and we have been together happily for 12 years. If you spent more time around men, you would realize that NOTHING is ever our fault.
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Leejnd
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Okay I know I'm going to get raked for bringing up the "relationship" issue again, but since you're talking about it, and you're the OP...I gotta ask why this guy is even still your bf? Sheesh, he blames YOU for his reaction to a dive that HE wanted to do, that was run by a professional DM (correctly or not -- YOU didn't run the dive), and you didn't "make" your bf do anything...how can it be your fault? To top it off, it sounds like he's a couch potato who would travel to one of the most beautiful dive spots on earth to do the same thing he can do in his own living room -- sit and watch the tube with the AC, whereas you like to to get out and have adventures and enjoy life. Can you really see yourself making a life with this man? The red flags are screaming. I'll say it again...get out now and save yourself the trouble of a divorce.
Now back to the diving stuff...
Now back to the diving stuff...
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