so. here is what is going on, this is slightly exaggerated, but not terribly so.
Warm water, swim trunks, steel tank. SS backplate makes you dangerously overweighted. With an aluminum tank, you shouldn't need a wing at all, so you want one that can comfortably keep you at the surface, so a 20lb wing is more than enough. With a large steel tank, say a 17l, you are compensating for 10lbs of air that you're going to breathe so you NEED a wing. Add in a stainless steel backplate, and you are dangerously overweighted for that environment.
Cold water, 7mm farmer john wetsuit, big steel tank, it is quite possible to need close to 40lbs of lift in the wing to compensate for the swing. A 40lb wing on an 8" diameter tank, is very different than on an AL80 in the caribbean, and as such you shouldn't use a wing quite that big in both environments. Now, the reason we have to ask for the ballast numbers you have, is because if say the 30lb wing is enough for your winter environment, you can easily use that in the caribbean, it is just slightly less ideal, but not unsafe. Requiring a lightweight plate for single tank diving is usually limited to steel tank use in warm water with no exposure protection in my experience, but most divers that dive in cold water, say most of Europe or the West Coast will have two wings, one for their local diving environment in the 40lb range, and one in the 20lb range for travel diving. If the 30lb wing is enough, it is an OK compromise to have one wing, but if it isn't enough, the 40lb wing is really far too large for swim trunk diving.
I understand what you are saying, although there are still a couple of points that just don't sit well with me, and it's probably because of my lack of knowledge pertaining to BP&W.
1. Using a regular BC, I am embarrassed to say here in this forum how much weight I need to go down with a 7mm wetsuit. I use very little air in the BC (if any) during the dive even on a deep dive. Is a BP&W so different that with a 7mm wetsuit I would need to compensate with such a big wing (40lbs)? I don't know how much lift my current BC has, but I am sure it's not even close.
2. How heavy are the SS plates? I thought that they are about 2lbs give or take (I couldn't find where it says on the site). In my present situation, with a standard BC and a 15L steel tank, I use more than 2lbs in weight to go down even when in a bathing suit. I do suspect that my BC doesn't dump out all it's air, causing it to have a more positive buoyancy than it should. But still, warm water, swim trunks, 15L steel tank. SS backplate will make me dangerously overweight?
I totally agree with what you are saying about stability in the water. My BC with integrated weights is horrible, especially with a 7mm suit. But with the 3mm or bathing suit it does OK, as long as I add some weigh in the back (trim).
So if I understood correctly, it would be better if, at the very least, I get 2 plates, 1 SS and one light one (Kydex or aluminum). Would that mean another harness as well?