Blowing off Steam

[EvaFin]

Alright, gonna put the obligatory 'not most men' here but is anyone else really sick of being called a 'lady diver' instead of a diver? Or people assuming that you need help even when you've got about 200 more dives under your belt then the fella trying to help you/feel you up in your suit.

I'm just really tired of it and wanted to ask if other women find it frustrating too. I was shore diving and fell over because of a loose stone and a strong wave and a guy started going on about how I couldn't take the weight because of being a woman and I wanted to sock him. Not the greatest impulse, and most guys couldn't be more helpful or gender neutral, but I can't stand it. It made me so pissed off.

Maybe I'll get it in the neck for using this board as a place to complain, and I know it's not why we're all here but, I don't know, I just wondered if other people have these experiences. It's humiliating.

 

[Marie13]

Are you a pretty young woman woman? If so, it’s just a fact of life! I’m an older chick (49) and I still get offers of help. If anyone offers to schlep my heavy tanks, they are welcome to!

 

[Compressor]

Next time, look at the guy and get his attention and tell him "muzzle it". Makes me sick.

FYI: I am a male.

 

[chillyinCanada]

There's been at least one extensive thread on this subject. Perhaps you'd like to review the Women's Perspectives subforum and find your answers. IIRC, it was a very interesting conversation.

 

[Marie13]

If you don’t like what a guy is saying to you or offers of help, if he doesn’t like your no, just tell him to eff off.

 

[chillyinCanada]

That seems a bit unreasonable to me. There's no need to cause a scene or make an enemy. Just smile and say firmly, thanks so much but I prefer to handle my own gear.

 

[Marie13]

That seems a bit unreasonable to me. There's no need to cause a scene or make an enemy. Just smile and say firmly, thanks so much but I prefer to handle my own gear.

Some guys don’t know how to take a polite and firm no for an answer. That’s when you have to get nasty. Some only understand nasty.

Telling a woman “not to make a scene or not make an enemy” is just what some of the young women I encounter do NOT need. They need the opposite. They’re too afraid of hurting someone’s feelings that it’s gotten them in trouble.

 

[CuzzA]

Yesterday I finished a couple dives and back at the dock we were hauling the boat in. A woman was walking by and we made eye contact, nothing sexual. I waved and said hi. She flicked me off.

You just gotta laugh and move on.

 

[johndiver999]

Yesterday I finished a couple dives and back at the dock we were hauling the boat in. A woman was walking by and we made eye contact, nothing sexual. I waved and said hi. She flicked me off.

You just gotta laugh and move on.

sounds like she did.

 

[KatieMac]

Are you a pretty young woman woman? If so, it’s just a fact of life! I’m an older chick (49) and I still get offers of help. If anyone offers to schlep my heavy tanks, they are welcome to!

I haven't ever been called "lady" diver. And I'm with you ... any time someone wants to carry my tanks or gear is a good time