Berating an "Instructor" on a dive boat. How should I have handled differently?

[AdivingBel]

If it's so specious, why did AdDivingBell post to me ( post #84 ) that the mod had "called me on it"....

I agree I should have said "Diver0001." Honestly Diver0001 is so prolific, I didn't really think of him as mod until you invoked Pete. That said, I stand corrected.

 

[chillyinCanada]

I'd like to add, that as someone that has been diving with Dan Volker and certainly no where near his level at the time, he is indeed fun other boat and at lunch afterwards. So, I'm certainly going to support him on that much of what he says as a bare minimum.

As for what boats a diver should pick to go on and when and why, that's a great idea for a whole new thread.

Over the years, I've been learning to try and keep my thoughts to myself on the boat. First becausjust who do i think i am? Second, because of the potential for ruining someone's zen or worse
otherwise making them stress over something during the dive that could compound a problem.

Now having said all that, the poor OP did get caught out by being overheard and thus was engaged in the conversation with the instructor. That convo was broken off as it should have been. Talk about unlucky to be sitting next to the person you are beaking off about. Lesson learned, no doubt. Who here hasn't found themselves in similar situation whether on the boat or in any other part of our lives?

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Bob, thanx for that comment! I spit out some of my beer in laughfter! I consider that the sign of a god comment. " our resident Borg Queen ". While that was funny for a while, I think Lynn deserves more credit and respect at this point, based on her post content alone. I hope she still chuckles about being the Queen, she certainly has the chops to declare herself as such, if she chooses.
YMMV
Eric

I did mention this post to Lynne today before our dive. Her response was "I EARNED that title, why would I mind anyone calling me that?" ... as you might expect, she has a wonderful sense of humor ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[boulderjohn]

I did mention this post to Lynne today before our dive. Her response was "I EARNED that title, why would I mind anyone calling me that?" ... as you might expect, she has a wonderful sense of humor ...

Now, seriously, what did you expect? She chose to have that borg queen avatar that creeped me out to no end for years.

 

[whitefang21]

I am appalled you are a north East diver and your first thought was to Cut the line. whoa

 

[LiteHedded]

I am appalled you are a north East diver and your first thought was to Cut the line. whoa

second thought, berate the guy in front of his students

 

[TSandM]

I did mention this post to Lynne today before our dive. Her response was "I EARNED that title, why would I mind anyone calling me that

Now, seriously, what did you expect? She chose to have that borg queen avatar that creeped me out to no end for years

It's a Borg cupcake now. Who can object to a cupcake? I am now the kindler, gentler, relentless advocate for standardized team diving

I don't really understand why everybody got up in arms about Dan's original post. There are a lot of ways to deal with a problem, and one of them is to avoid it in the first place. He made the point that boats are different, and it's often not too difficult to find out which boats are likely to be used by instructors with beginners, and which are going to make the trips to more difficult or advanced sites. I know we know that for some of the places we dive. If you are planning a day of diving, it's best to put yourself on a boat where you will be among similar divers with similar goals.

It's not always possible. Clearly, in this case, the diver either did not have or did not know of other options, so he went out on a boat where he was going to have to deal with a group of undifferentiated divers. Yet he did not come here complaining about OW students silting out dive sites, or beginners cutting the dive short with their rapid gas consumption. He came complaining of poor line running on the part of an instructor running a class (or mentoring, I can't remember which he was doing).

A lot of people are exercised about his comment that he thought about cutting the line. I don't know how seriously he entertained that thought, and it is not a defensible action. But I actually read his original comment as the sort of emotional reaction I might have . . . "It would serve him right if I cut that line!" with no intention of actually DOING it.

Maybe I empathize with the OP because of the number of times I've said something about somebody and discovered they were standing behind me. For a while, that seemed to be one of my favorite faux pas. Once you realize you have done that, there generally aren't any really good options. Rarely was the delivery of the opinion phrased in any way to make it palatable to the person it concerned, and often, a quick apology and exit is the best strategy.

As was beautifully described in an earlier post, we are not rational creatures most of the time. Once we are angry or defensive or threatened, we aren't receptive to information, and part of the job of an instructor is to avoid eliciting that reaction in a student. But the accepted hierarchy between teacher and student can get you through some of it; there was no assumed hierarchy here, so the instructor who found himself being criticized on a boat, in front of his student and the other divers, was almost certainly not going to be receptive to any further information from the offending source.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

I don't really understand why everybody got up in arms about Dan's original post.

... for purposes of clarification, I didn't have a problem with Dan't original post ... or even the second one. It was the one that started with "With a post like this, I really don't see how Pete can have you as a moderator." that made me decide to comment, because Diver0001's status as a moderator was completely irrelevent to what was being said, and it follows a long-standing pattern that I think serves only to derail the flow of a topic.

By now I think everyone ... including Dan ... understands that moderators are as free to express themselves as everyone else ... and statements like that one only amount to mod-bashing.

As I explained to Dan in one of my replies ... his point has some validity ... his manner of expressing it, not so much. If you're gonna bash people, don't whine when you get bashed back. Life's like that ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[whitefang21]

A lot of people are exercised about his comment that he thought about cutting the line. I don't know how seriously he entertained that thought, and it is not a defensible action. But I actually read his original comment as the sort of emotional reaction I might have . . . "It would serve him right if I cut that line!" with no intention of actually DOING it.

1) Its hard to read the OP post as any laughable act. Cutting someones line or even thinking of cutting some ones line should not be entertained. I am sure he saw it as an hazzard but as he stated they were multiple exit point to go around.

2) Approaching another diver with an issue can be resolved without an argument. It is our attitudes that make the difference as the OP stated he was heated and his attitude was not the best ( in my opinion it was to scold) the other diver until he found out the other diver was an instructor.

Scuba is learning process and i have learned a lot from people who do things different from the way i was trained or the way i was taught to Dive.
--Excuse me i notice you doing X thing in that particular way is there a reason why?
- i came across the line and it hindered me and few other divers from crossing a particular point.

 

[chillyinCanada]

Yes, all so easy now, isn't it.