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Plan B:

I am an avid golfer, 7 handicap, maybe I should take my clubs just in case. No, probably not a good idea, Plan B is probably going to be what ever my "new bride" wants to do!

thanks, I thought about that and that's always a possibility, just hope the 10 days are flat calm. I have also looked into the possibility of hiring a DM for our first dive, probably an easy shore dive or something before she gets her first boat dive.

Are there any folks out there who can tell me about there first boat dive experience with their wives?

waterdogs,
 
Not if you have to negotiate breakers... Do an inlet or sound with a minimal amount of waves if you want to keep it "easy". I actually find diving from a boat FAR easier to any other kind of diving. Put gear on... two or three steps... into water and all of the weight is off of my back. Shore diving requires far more stamina as you pack your gear from hotel/car/wherever to beach/shore you get the picture. The hardest part of boat diving is getting out, but even then the hardest is usually easier then the easiest shore dive.

Add to that the sometimes "messy" entrance/exit points of shore diving, you will probably find the best way to go is a boat. Just my $.02, and so you know, my shore diving outweighs my boat diving 4 to 1!!! I wish that were reversed!
 
Hi Waterdogs,

here's my story...boring as it might be. I finished up OW classes in Jan. of 2001. needless to say, I couldn't/wouldn't get into the quarry until it warmed up. I spent every Wed. (class night) night in the pool from then until late April. I wanted to make sure I was comfortable in the water before taking the big plunge. I also worked VERY hard on my buoyancy. finally, the last weekend in April the water had warmed up...to 50...so in I went. completed my first 2 dives with minimal shivering. the following weekend I did my last 3 dives. although I had a minor anxiety attack at 30' (I couldn't catch my breath. found out that I was working myself too hard. thought I had to swim at 50mph) & a malfunction with my BC (learned that I don't panic when gliches arise) I successfully completed all dives. the following weekend we were in Cozumel. the first day there we got tanks & did a shore dive. never got deeper than 15', but I was able to figure out how much weight to use & practice my buoyancy. it was a good dive...lots of fish & some coral. the next day on the boat I had a lot of anxiety, but I was determined to follow thru...after all, I was trained for this. once I hit the water & looked at the bottom (& could SEE the bottom) I was ready to go. as I was leveling off at about 80', I was greeted by a HUGE grey angelfish. I was HOOKED! it was the most incredible experience I'd had up until that point. by the end of the week I was sooooooo comfortable, you couldn't keep me out of the water.
anyway, just be patient, take your time, & allow yourselves to relax & enjoy the experience. you will not regret it.
 
We are going to St.John for our honeymoon for 10 day's and I believe that's probably the easiest beginner location we could find. I agree on shore dive troubles, I guess i was looking for the easiest way out. I guess what im looking for is some personal attention for her to get comfortable, so I will probably hire a DM for ourselves the first time, it's worth the expense for me to make her feel comfortable the the first time off.

Guy's, what did your wives go through, I can't be the only one whose run into this.

thanks again for the comments,

waterdogs,
 
After getting tired of watching me dive Michelle decided she wanted to take the plunge. She had many of the same fears your does. It wasn't the things that you could see, it was the things that you couldn't. She had an active imagination.

Fast forward to her first gulf dive on a boat. It was less than glass calm the rocking boat, diesel fumes, and nerves did nothing but make her stomach roll. She was finally fully geared up when she blessed the deck. I was already in the water when that happened and I kept telling her to get in the water and she would feel better. She did and she did. We ended up making two dives that day, on the second dive we had a little mis-understanding with the DM and got left. We ended up cruising around on bare sand, I found a huge sea biscuit, and never did find the structure we were supposed to be on. We hit the surface and I saw the looks of consternation on the captains face, we did a big OK and swam back to the stern. All was good.

Yall have fun, take it slow, and congrats on your impending wedding and spending your lives together. Best wishes to you both.

Tom
 
Well be the first on the boat our first time out, don't want her to go through that experience yet.

Mine's creative too, drempt of large octopus around her leg already, but i told her the sharks keep the octopus' away. Just kidding.

I know there's a lot of people out there with the same experience and receiving this info will help not only her, but me as we work through this.

thanks, again,

waterdogs
 
Hi Waterdogs! Here's a little piece of advice from someone who has freaked out about anything and everything you can think of at some point in her training! I don't know if your wife does a "preliminary" freak-out like I used to. When I was stressed about a dive, whether it was depth, equipment, visibility, first boat dive, first salt water dive, first night dive, first (fill-in-the-blank) I would start talking in a slightly negative manner "I don't know if I can do this" type of stuff. I found I was really just looking for affirmation from my buddy that everything was going to be ok, I wanted my buddy to ask me what was bothering me about the upcoming dive. A very thorough pre-dive check to make sure all gear was working properly and all communication signals and emergency procedures were completely understood was always a big help. My buddy (husband to be!) would then say "what's really bothering you" and then he would just listen and, if needed, let me cry on his shoulder--getting out an overblown fear I had in my head. He just helped me look at things rationally and evaluate whether I had the mindset to tackle the particular challenge. I remember my first salt water dive also my first warm water dive. We were on Grand Turk and there were about 6 of us on the boat, the DM said our first dive would be to 100 feet and my eyes got as big as saucers! I had never been that deep before, my only other boat dive (Lake Huron) had been a BAD experience and I was going to have to do a backroll off this boat (I HATED those at the time, love them now--after doing 13 that trip). I started to panic so Bruce just talked to me about what was causing my pre-dive freak out. We decided not to push the depth this time, too many other stress factors (First time in salt water, first time in warm water and a backroll entry) he says to stop my descent at whatever depth is comfortable and we'll stay above the DM. Well, I calm down, happy to be rid of a stress factor, we backroll in, do a buddy check then swim as we descend. Next thing I know he points to his gauge and waves his hand in a signal over the gauge (he was trying to tell me to level out at this depth) I give him a strange look. He shows me his depth gauge, we're at 90 feet and I hadn't even realized we were there! I looked up and thought, "that wasn't so bad, I can still see the waves on the surface!" I was used to diving in cold water and greeting a thermalcline and slightly darker water every 20 feet or so, without the thermalclines and darkness the depth wasn't scary.

I believe you understand you should NEVER try to coerce someone into doing a dive they aren't mentally ready for. You can, however, try to find out if the reason they are afraid is due to a little creativity of the imagination. Since you know your buddy well and are obviously supportive of her decisions you are in a great position to let her talk through her fears and see for herself if they are real (I'm not trained for this kind of diving--abort) or imaginary (there are giant man-eating octopi in the caribbean--NOT!). You are going to learn something about each other on every dive and from what I've seen with the students I've worked with, SHE might be comforting YOU before a dive sometime in the future.

Best of luck to you both! Just keep your minds open and be willing to communicate without belittling those small things that seem like a big deal to the other person.

Ber :bunny:
 
Waterdogs-

I'm glad to hear that your wife will be doing the OW cert work in the states. I moved back from St Thomas a few months ago, diving is so completly different down there. If you were to get your cert there and then do most of your diving in cold fresh water, you get to learn to dive all over again. I'm doing that now, it's f-u-n, you stick out like a sore thumb. As far as shark and 'cuda concerns, unfortually the only sharks I came across where out there in the shadows or almost there... one notable exception. And as for 'cudas, a cuda will never attack anything more than 1/2 it's own size, a diver is way more than 1/2 the size of any cuda I've seen. If she's still a little nervious around cudas and a DM or other diver takes their reg out and puts a small fish in their mouth, close your eyes and count to ten... it's called a cuda kiss. If you're looking for a very postivite boat diving trip, Chris Sawyer Dive on STT has a trip to the RMS Rhone (BVI) every Friday. Awesome dive, pretty easy dive- 60 & 50fts, lots of sun, the wreck's been down long enough to have a descent reef on it, and by far his boat is in the best condition of any boat I came across (except for the one I crewed on!). Only thing you'd have to catch an early ferry (no sleeping in on vactions!), the boats leaves 7 or 8am. Enjoy the wetsuit-optional water.
 
Waterdog....I applaud you for your concern for your wife's comfort and the efforts you're taking for her. I think she'll do fine! Before my first dives, I wasn't really afraid but I was aware that there were 'things' down there that I knew nothing about. Here's a memory I have from my first salt water dives....

Memories of Cozumel...Or is it Memorex?

It was my 12th dive and we were on Tormentos Reef. I was lucky enough to do my checkout dives in Coz and this was the last dive of that first trip. The previous 11 dives had been spent in awe and concentration. Of course, none of us ever forget that first back roll, especially in the aquamarine waters around Coz. The feeling of gently falling backwards, seeing the cloudless sky disappear in an explosion of tiny silver bubbles as you hit the water. As I slowly rotate my body to face the bottom, I adjust my mask and take a personal inventory, yep…remembered my fins this time!

At 65 feet below, the reef looks as though you can reach out and touch it. The water has that crystalline shimmer that convinces you that you are truly in another world. As I look over at my buddy, I can see the other divers descending, silver bubble trails suspending them from the ceiling of the water like puppets. I’m only wearing my swimsuit and can feel the warm water gently flowing over my skin as we slowly descend. The current is almost non-existent today, a rarity in Coz. There’s just enough of a current to eliminate the need to kick our way from here to there. The section of reef we are on has more varieties of fish than I’ve seen before. Or maybe it’s just that for the first time, my buoyancy has finally kicked in, everything is just perfect. My mind is filled with what I’m seeing rather than wondering if I’m doing everything right!

We are slowly drifting along at about 45 feet and as I look around I see Queen and Striped and Stoplight and Princess Parrotfish weaving patterns of color among the fronds of the gorgonians and black corals. I see pairs of well-polished Banded Butterflyfish, flipping like irregular coins through the soft corals, always just ahead of me. I see shy Black Durgons that stayed far enough away that I could not see whether they actually had eyes or mouths; all I could make out were the hard black shapes of their bodies and the butterfly wing flow of their white-limned dorsal and anal fins. Have you ever noticed how, up close, a Durgon actually has an indigo body and a face shot through with chromium yellow lines? I see Rock Beauties moving like black paintbrushes dripping yellow across the purple and crimson of sponges. I see schools of Chromis spontaneously generating from the surrounding blue.

The impossible neon purple of the first full grown Trumpetfish my buddy found, and that shocked, hair-on-end look that Squirrlefish always have will forever live in memory. I had seen Queen Angels on previous dives and I may never feel that same thrill at the sight of a Queen Angel again, but the sight of a half dozen of them looping and spiraling their blues and greens about one another as they play among the reef still gave me goosebumps. A Moray Eel, dressed in his most drab olive green suit, comes out to see if we have brought him a squid snack. He remembers the days of old when the Divemasters catered to his every whim. His thick body undulates a sexy pattern as he approaches us, almost as if he just craves our company. But we know better. Although he lets us touch him, feeling his silky skin, we still avoid the pointy end!

Towards the end of the dive, we are at the edge of the reef where the sand flats spread out like a field of snow. The orange colored Cushion Stars walk gently over fields of turtle grass, standing out as the stars they are. There is a small coral head about the size of a coffee table that is sitting out all by itself. Of course, nosey me, I have to go see what's there. At first glance, it looks like every other part of the reef. But as I'm looking a bit closer, I see an eyeball! A wierd one at that. About the size of a quarter, a sort of silvery gold color with a horizontal pupil. I lay in the sand, just inches away, trying to see what it is. Wait, I feel something on my hand. As I look down, there is this very inquisitive tennacle slowly inspecting my fingernail. When I look up, the eye seems to be smiling at me! We lay there, eye to eye, curious about each other and connected by some higher power that maybe neither of us understand. When he had completed his inspection of my hand, arm and part of my face, we parted friends. The changling called Octopus will always have a special place in my heart.

Too soon it is time to start our ascent. On every dive up to now, this part of the dive has been spent with computer in hand, monitoring my ascent rate and eyes fixed to the timer so I would get exactly 3 minutes at exactly 15 feet for the safety stop. That’s what we’re taught, right? My air consumption has been the best ever and I am aware of how much air I have left and am not worried. My body had at this point conditioned itself to feel the differences in pressure as I ascended to shallower depths so I don’t even think of watching my computer slowly tick down to the target depth. Instead, my eyes are filled with wonder at the life that exists way up here above the reef below. Clear, almost invisible Salps gently pulsing their way through the water, clearly showing their family resemblance to their jellyfish cousins. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of bright, metallic silver. BARRACUDA!

My brain has two parts. One parts is yelling at me to get out of the water and avoid the vicious teeth and inevitable mangling of my body I was sure this horrible creature has planned for me. The other part is transfixed in wonder. The mirrored armor of this amazing creature is brighter than anything I’ve ever seen. It’s gentle eye, slowly moving up and down, trying to figure out why in the world this huge clumsy creature is staring at it. That big toothy grin now has a humorous look to it.
My buddy and I return to the boat. For several minutes I sit in stunned silence. My memory already in overdrive, I want to share the experience of the most perfect dive to date with my buddy, my husband. But all we do is exchange big smiles. Words were not necessary.
 

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