Why would you even own such a reg? Why wouldn't you have your alternate serviced to remove "God knows what?"You're right, a crappy secondary reg that breathes terrible and is full of god knows what will only increase problems and stress for an OOA diver.
I haven't been diving for much more than a quarter century, but I have not yet seen a reasonably in-service regulator that won't breathe plenty easy enough to serve for an emergency ascent.