Armchair Diver Specialty

[richerso]

I am looking for an instructor who can certify me in Armchair Diving. I just need the instructor to sign off on the paperwork and submit it to PADI for me. Thanks.

As I understand it, there is no bookwork associated with this specialty. Furthermore, I feel that I have plenty of practicum armchair dives this year to meet the requirements of the specialty. I have been armchair diving almost every weekend this year. I believe I have logged something like 26 armchair dives so far this year.

Besides, armchair diving is less expensive than conventional diving and there is no need to drive to the lake so this specialty is perfect for the budget-conscious diver.

 

[Aaron203]

I am a self-certified armchair diver instructor. Here's what I need to see:

1. Pre-requisite 12 oz. curls.
2. Ability to handle multiple remotes at once.
3. Ability to sleep while television is on.
4. Show proper emotion during a sports game.
5. Demonstrate the ability to ignore significant other / kids / pets while maintaining illusion of paying attention.
6. Show proper technique of deploying foot rest.
7. Demonstrate practical knowledge of commercial timing for restroom / kitchen trips.
8. Demonstrate the ability to eat nacho's with "minimal" spillage.

Take care of all that, and I'll sign whatever you want and send it to whoever you want!

Oh, yeah, and you will fail immediately and have to start over if you don't have enough "12 oz" weights available for yourself and me for the duration of the test. :beer:

 

[ZzzKing]

I am a self-certified armchair diver instructor. Here's what I need to see:

1. Pre-requisite 12 oz. curls.
2. Ability to handle multiple remotes at once.
3. Ability to sleep while television is on.
4. Show proper emotion during a sports game.
5. Demonstrate the ability to ignore significant other / kids / pets while maintaining illusion of paying attention.
6. Show proper technique of deploying foot rest.
7. Demonstrate practical knowledge of commercial timing for restroom / kitchen trips.
8. Demonstrate the ability to eat nacho's with "minimal" spillage.

Take care of all that, and I'll sign whatever you want and send it to whoever you want!

Oh, yeah, and you will fail immediately and have to start over if you don't have enough "12 oz" weights available for yourself and me for the duration of the test. :beer:

What's the cost of this special training?

 

[mike_s]

I am a self-certified armchair diver instructor. Here's what I need to see:

1. Pre-requisite 12 oz. curls.
2. Ability to handle multiple remotes at once.
3. Ability to sleep while television is on.
4. Show proper emotion during a sports game.
5. Demonstrate the ability to ignore significant other / kids / pets while maintaining illusion of paying attention.
6. Show proper technique of deploying foot rest.
7. Demonstrate practical knowledge of commercial timing for restroom / kitchen trips.
8. Demonstrate the ability to eat nacho's with "minimal" spillage.

Take care of all that, and I'll sign whatever you want and send it to whoever you want!

Oh, yeah, and you will fail immediately and have to start over if you don't have enough "12 oz" weights available for yourself and me for the duration of the test. :beer:

Wait a minute.... that sounds like the DIR Armchair Speciality Diver.

I think he just wants the basic Armchair diver course...

 

[Ryanh1985]

Wait a minute.... that sounds like the DIR Armchair Speciality Diver.

I think he just wants the basic Armchair diver course...

LMAO..

 

[Timeliner]

Here is Armchair Diver Richerso ---> :happyjaz:


In his own mind he thinks he looks like this -----> :djbluey:


The poor guy

 

[ZzzKing]

Here is Armchair Diver Richerso ---> :happyjaz:


In his own mind he thinks he looks like this -----> :djbluey:


The poor guy

...except the guy in the Barcolounger needs a bigger gut and less hair.

 

[Timeliner]

I say we strap Richerso to that big cushy chair with a couple of steel tanks and drop him down the Armadillo Hole up at Broken Bow Lake.

That would qualify him for sure.

We need pictures of that ! :14:

 

[mike_s]

or take this course...

 

[Timeliner]

I would not go as far as to say that Richerso is "Stupid"
I think he is actually looking for a comfortable way to Dive and get a Lap Dance at the same time.

We all know what kind of Diver he would be then .....

A Hoochie Diver :jb: