In my zeal to promote diving have I become so focused on my own dive goals that I have excluded my wife and friends? They feel like I have. So regardless of intention it has been perceived as such.
CamG notes it's been a 'serious issue.' Reading over the original post, I didn't see anything jump out as snobbish, yet a number of people who know him personally have this perception, I take it. Ergo...something's missing. It'd be interesting to know how his post would read if his wife & friends had written it instead of him.
I'm too far down on the totem pole for much snobbery; from where I sit, if I look down my nose, I can't hardly see anybody.
Now, if you want some ideas about what might come across as snobbery, even if it shouldn't be, here are some thoughts:
1.) It's natural to show enthusiastic preoccupation with wonderful, exciting things you are getting to do. Tech diving will open vistas to you to do such things. It's natural for those who don't get to do them to feel excluded. It's easy to inadvertently offend those types regaling them with your exploits or experiences.
It's a lot like being perceived as 'flaunting your wealth.' If you're quite wealthy, yet hang out with several friends of far lesser means, you kind of learn to keep a lower 'wealth profile,' maybe downplay it a bit. Your laid off buddy on unemployment does not need to see your new Rolex, or listen to you agonize over whether to buy a Corvette or a Porsche.
Similarly, if anytime you guys see something on a Rec. dive you proceed to mention something bigger and better from a Tech. dive, that could grate on someone's nerves.
2.) If you pass on rec. dives that seem unchallenging or 'old hat, been there, done that' to you, and so don't want to do the dives they can do. This is more apt to be an issue with a wife. Your buddies may accept that you've moved on to some diving that isn't their thing. But your wife, especially if you're nearly the only person she dives with, well, those pretty wives like to be included. Some do, anyway.
3.) As others alluded to, giving unsolicited advice, or just going on about how you've been taught to do something and why when nobody asked (say, if you've just come out of GUE Fundamentals and you're real excited about it), can come across as conceited even when the only real intent is to share something of value (practical knowledge) & let people know about other opportunities.
People vary widely in how apt they are to judge snobbery. Some people are quick to feel slighted.
I'd still like to hear what the wife & friends have to say about why they perceived the OP as a snob. I didn't see anything in his version that would've made me think that.
Richard.
