An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation...

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Scuba_Jenny

dirty-finned dive goddess
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Location
Hollywood, Florida
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An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life... until the boat sank. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies... nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" "I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island, the oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, but, that's impossible," stutters the man. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the island there is a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place, " she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but call it home. Sit down, please.
Would you like to have a drink?"
"No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? You know." She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing: "You mean...?", he swallows excitedly, I can check my e-mail from here...?"
 
LOL Jenny, that cracked me up... and it applies to a few that I know, as well!

grins :D

sapphire
 
The modern age I guess. Very funny, I heard the same joke years ago but the punchline was...."What, you mean you have made some golf clubs too"?
 
Great one, IceBerg... I am going to tell my dad this story with the golf club ending... he will be able to relate to it then :D!

sapphire
 
By the way Saph, we are "old friends". I changed my board name due to reasons of my own...I spent tonight with August at the 92stY. He gave a nice lecture here in manhattan and we talked much about "gem of the Ocean"
 
IceBergSlim once bubbled...
By the way Saph, we are "old friends". I changed my board name due to reasons of my own...I spent tonight with August at the 92stY. He gave a nice lecture here in manhattan and we talked much about "gem of the Ocean"

Ahhh, now I know who you are ;)! Congratulations again for "Gem"!!

sapphire
 
an englishman, frenchman and a japanese man are to be stranded on a desert island for a year in an experiment to see how they will survive. After the ship that has brought them leaves they all get togehter. "Well" says the englishman Ïm a civil engineer by trade so if its ok with the rest of you i will take charge of building a refuge" The frenchman steps forward and says I of course have been trained as a chef so i wll look after the cooking". The englishman turns to the japanese and says"well we will leave you in charge of the supplies then".

A year goes by and the boat returns. The man in charge steps ashore to find a sprawling bungalow complete with verandas, amazing he says. The englishman steps forward and admits that there was a lot of good raw materials available and so in fact it was quite an easy task. "Whats that fantastic smell"well says the frenchman i have laid on small luncheon for you, again i have also been fortunate as there are many wild animals, vegetables, herbs and spices on this island. ämazing and wheres your Japanese colleague". "Oh"says the englishman "we havent seen him since the day we arrived". Whereapon the japanese runs into the clearing with his underpants on his head and a flower stuck up his butt and screams "SUPPLIZE"

save the groans
 
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