Am I a Bad Person

[Desert_Diver]

But I'm sure I can come up with another equally intriguing topic to discus. Perhaps: Why will RJ have dinner with my mom and step dad but not my bio-father? or Does RJ's parents only like me because it means they don't have to worry about taking care of him any more? I'll provide no further details. Please assume what you will, the more creative, the better.)

Yo, RJ-

Any time a female looks you in the eye, and starts the conversation with the words. "We have to talk...", know that you are in deep kim chee. You should seriously consider calling 911 while you are still coherant. Seconds can count.

I don't mean to imply that Eckybay is a violent person. Usually, the female of the species goes for the slow death wounds. Ya know, "Death of a Thousand Cuts" (verbally inflicted), "Death By Deflated Ego" (also verbally inflicted), "Death By Crushed Cranium" (stoned to death with words), and the other 999 methods to accomplish homicide that are completely legal within the boundaries of the United States (all taught in Wives School 101).

Be warned. And be very, very afraid.
(sadly shaking head)

Art

 

[Reggae Joe]

Lol...someone mentioned women's thermonuclear reactions that they can have, and that's quite right...

Now, bear in mind, if I'd started a topic like this, and kept it going ad infinitum like her recent post, I'd be dead by now...

 

[MBH]

Go diving and get the certification that you passed up last year.

Decades from now- when you are laying in bed, dying from old age, I seriously doubt that you'll be wishing you'd attended more infant baptisims.

 

[Jim Lapenta]

There's also the other thing. Do you believe the baptism really means anything anyway?

 

[grassyknoll]

think there may also be a way you can dive and still perform "Duty". Here is my suggestion, send the parents the following letter:

"Dear XXXX,

I have been moved by the recent arrival of your spawn. Little xxxxx is such a beautiful and precious biped that it makes me want to ensure the world is a better place for him/her. As you may be aware, the Department of Homeland Security has recently put the SCUBA community on alert that we must be vigilant in our efforts to prevent domestic terrorists from targeting critical infrastructure accessible by terrorists trained in SCUBA. Therefore, as much as I would love to be able to attend little XXXX baptism, I feel I must sacrifice and do what is necessary to ensure his/her safety. So while you are rejoicing in XXXX's baptism, rest assured though not there in body, I will be there in spirit as I dutifully spend the day ensuring that there are no terroristic activities at (insert lake/quarry/ocean name here) and that the world is a little safer for XXXX."

Sincerely,


That should do it.