I have a similar issue and totally feel your frustration when asking for weight. In tropics, with only a rash guard and a AL80 I use 18lbs. I'm 6'1 and 250lbs. I could definitely loose 30lbs to be at my college playing weight......but then college days were 50 years ago! I just returned home from the BVI's from a week of diving and the 18lbs is perfect. When I'm traveling and need to ask for my preferred amount of lead I get that I am asking for more than most ask for...... so I am confident and adamant about what I want and then I let my skills
I'm actually about to go through a new "weighting" exercise tomorrow.......here in Puget Sound. I just recently purchased a new Tri-Lam drysuit and undergarment and so do not yet know what will be the optimum weight. My previous Drysuit was a Harvey's Titanium 7mm Neoprene with minimal undergarment and I needed 36lbs plus two 1.5 lb ankle weights to be comfortable and most importantly to be able to comfortably hover without effort at 15-20 feet with 500 psi or less in a Steel HP 102 and a full AL19 back mounted Pony. My BC is an integrated Seaquest Black Diamond harness / wing style with ditchable weight pockets and two non ditchable trim pockets along the tank. With my neoprene DS, I kept one 3lb weight (right side) and one 5lb (left side) in each of my back trim pockets. I then had 14 in each of my pull pockets (to offset the tank mounted pony) and 12 in my right pull pocket.
So....my dive tomorrow will be strictly all about determining proper weight. No camera, no spear gun, no tasking other than my primary goal of determining proper weight with the new suit. I'll probably start with the 35bs and then go up or down from there as needed. I still have a "float tube" with flag and auger anchor from my past teaching days so will have that with me in the water in case I find that I need to add or remove weight.
I have a steel HP 102 here that I've been using for testing regs and it has about 1500psi so my plan is just hit 30 ft, breath it down to 400 -500 and then see if I can easily hover at 15-20 ft with no drysuit squeeze and and no air in my BC.
Anyway..... that's the plan! Looking forward to trying the new Tri Lam on a dive!!!!