tmassey
Contributor
(Please see my request regarding debate and arguing at the end of this post. TL;DR: Please just don't. Start a new thread if you have something to argue or debate. T.J.M.)
I'm signed up for a GUE Fundamentals class which starts in just a couple of weeks. It's been a long journey: a decade of diving and an entire deck of recreational and technical certifications. I've always appreciated reading other "Fundies Reports" and I always assumed I'd write one of my own. But starting this has led to a tremendous amount of unexpected angst and painful self-reflection.
I'll try to distill this as best I can. It's a recent thread that is causing me to post this here. (GUE training and deep diving) Some of the points outlined there, particularly by @lv2dive, are at the heart of why this has taken me so long and been so painful.
A very brief outline of my history: Began diving seriously again in 2008, and have a little less than 400 dives since then. During that time I've gone from OW to AOW, Rescue, Master, TDI Advanced Wreck, AN/DP, Cavern, Intro Cave and just finished Full Cave back in December.
I spent much of this time exhausting the PADI recreational class path. Some classes were valuable (Rescue was the best of the lot), but most were underwhelming. Fast forward to my recent perspective, and I've come to realize why: in those classes, I was largely being evaluated, not instructed. If I was already above the minimum requirements, there was no requirement to teach me, and so I wasn't taught anything.
The perfect example of that was my Peak Performance Buoyancy certification. There was no pre-dive material, no pre-dive instruction, and no post-dive review. We did a dive, I was told I passed, and if I paid my money I'd get the card. So basically I paid $120 or whatever to have a dive buddy on that dive. Actually no, I paid $120 for someone to pass judgement on me. I didn't want judgement: I wanted improvement! But because I was above the minimum standard, I was given no instruction.
This even continued with my technical training as well. The net result was that in classes where I was far from the minimum standards (such as in classes that included new techniques or skills), I received noticeable instruction. In classes where this was not the case, I did not. I received a positive judgement, but not positive instruction. And this continued to be frustrating.
I have come to realize that my expectations were misplaced. While *I* was eager for continual suggestions for improvement, most students would *not* be. Instructors are merely providing what most people want -- and that's not exactly an unreasonable business model, even if it doesn't fit what *I* wanted. Also, why did I think it was reasonable for someone to work to improve every aspect of my diving, when the purpose of the class is focused on specific items? Of course, these items feed on each other until you end with the evaluate-not-instruct model.
What made my response to this worse was that during this entire time, I was very aware of this militant group called GUE and their intense SCUBA boot camp called 'Fundies'. So all while I was receiving my milquetoast instruction, I had in the back of my mind that this magic class would be all that I wanted.
So why didn't I take it? A few reasons, some good and some bad.
First, the time commitment. It's a week long. I could not get a week off work, and even if I could, I could *not* then take that time away from my family. (This was not me saying that this could not happen. This really could not happen.) PADI may get slammed as being "Put Another Dollar In", but there is real, actual, positive value in making things bite-sized, even if it costs more in the end. Because if a piece is too large, it doesn't matter how good or how cheap it is if you truly cannot swallow it.
Plus it's expensive. Well into four figures. Again, too much to bite off at once. Plus, it's far away (which factors into that expensive part, too). Plus it needs all new gear. (In 2019, this isn't quite as true, and the "right" gear is much more mainstream and available anyway. In the aughts, not *nearly* so much.)
But here's the *other* really, really big reason: because I knew I couldn't pass it. And I couldn't bring myself to take a class that I knew I could *not* pass, when I already knew the items that would prevent me from passing. Why would I spend multiple thousands of dollars and selfishly take a week away from my family to be told what I already knew? I can do that for free!
Yes, I knew even then that the point was that you'd be told *how* to *improve* on the things that you couldn't do, and it would still move you much farther ahead, even without a "pass". But that was just a bridge too far.
Don't think that I can't see the contradiction in this. I slam my early training as too focused on evaluation and minimum standards, yet I won't take the other class because I won't pass it. But can't there be an in-between? Can't there be bite-sized training that *isn't* simply focused on evaluation to a minimum standard, but truly focused on instruction and *then* evaluation?
And don't tell me Fundamentals Part 1. An interesting experiment: see how many instructors have filed an upcoming Fundamentals class for 2019. About 200. Now see how many Fundamentals Part 1 are offered. About 20. WORLDWIDE. The class may exist, but it's not one that gets taught. (Maybe it can't happen: maybe the economics just *require* the really big bite.)
Others might say, "That's what mentoring is for." Yeah, if you can find suitable mentors. That's not always easy. And as a newbie, you don't know the difference between a good mentor and a bad mentor. I've got a great story about how my mentor at that time took me on a dive that was *WAY* beyond my skills and training (an open-water diver going to 150' with planned O2-accelerated deco) and bad things happened. But he was a "great" diver -- if you don't know how any of that stuff is *supposed* to be done, anyway. In Michigan, divers like that outnumber responsible tech divers 10 to 1. Not good odds of finding a good mentor... (And there's zero GUE presence in Michigan.)
So, this is where things stood: a magical class that was beyond my logistical, financial and SCUBA capabilities to take, or a series of classes that I certainly *could* take, but left me wanting. And things stood that way for a decade, as I slowly acquired more and more cards.
But I'm now taking the class. What changed? A few things. One, my work situation has changed significantly, enough to make the class possible. Two, I've basically run out of other classes. If I want to get better (and I still do), I'll have to try something different. Three, I've run out of major obstacles to "passing" the GUE class. Before, I had a list of like 20 things that needed to actually change, not just improve. Now, I've run out. That doesn't mean that I think I can pass. I really don't (*certainly* not a tech pass): there's lots of skills I need to improve. But there isn't a specific skill that I can say, "That will stop me from any chance of passing because it's completely missing." So *now* I'll take the class: so that now they can show me what I'm still missing.
Yes, writing that out has clearly illustrated to me why that thinking is *so*... fundamentally wrong. 'Now that I think that there's not that much for me to learn, now I'm ready to take the class.' Really? That's why you take the class?
But in a world of evaluation, it *is* why. If the purpose is judgement rather than instruction, you take it when you will have a positive judgement.
I'm still worried about this aspect. Will my GUE class still be largely evaluation rather than instruction? Don't know. I've been assured it won't. I hope they're right.
The other thing I'm worried about: will my intense need to level -- to "pass" -- interfere with my learning? I hope not. I keep trying to tell myself that taking this class is *not* about passing -- it's *only* about getting better. In some ways, I believe this. I do *not* need this class. I will get my TDI Normoxic Trimix card whenever I feel like writing the check and spending the time -- I have no real doubt of that. And that's truly the last card I think I will need for multiple years at least. So a Tech Pass gives me nothing: I don't plan on taking Cave 1 or Tech 1, so who cares? But... I know me. No matter how much I say it doesn't matter (and it *really* doesn't), it doesn't mean I don't *care*.
So this is where I stand today. I'm trying to overcome the crippling mental and emotional limitations that I've put on myself that have caused me to continue to favor the education I *knew* was not providing me the value I was looking for, because I was too afraid and proud to invest the time, money, effort and humility into taking the class that I hoped would. Will the class provide me what I'm looking for? Well, it's probably not going to address the emotional damage -- that's likely on me alone.
I'll be happy if it it will at least provide the specific and deep SCUBA instruction I'm looking for!
(Part two next: 10,000 character limit?!? )
I'm signed up for a GUE Fundamentals class which starts in just a couple of weeks. It's been a long journey: a decade of diving and an entire deck of recreational and technical certifications. I've always appreciated reading other "Fundies Reports" and I always assumed I'd write one of my own. But starting this has led to a tremendous amount of unexpected angst and painful self-reflection.
I'll try to distill this as best I can. It's a recent thread that is causing me to post this here. (GUE training and deep diving) Some of the points outlined there, particularly by @lv2dive, are at the heart of why this has taken me so long and been so painful.
A very brief outline of my history: Began diving seriously again in 2008, and have a little less than 400 dives since then. During that time I've gone from OW to AOW, Rescue, Master, TDI Advanced Wreck, AN/DP, Cavern, Intro Cave and just finished Full Cave back in December.
I spent much of this time exhausting the PADI recreational class path. Some classes were valuable (Rescue was the best of the lot), but most were underwhelming. Fast forward to my recent perspective, and I've come to realize why: in those classes, I was largely being evaluated, not instructed. If I was already above the minimum requirements, there was no requirement to teach me, and so I wasn't taught anything.
The perfect example of that was my Peak Performance Buoyancy certification. There was no pre-dive material, no pre-dive instruction, and no post-dive review. We did a dive, I was told I passed, and if I paid my money I'd get the card. So basically I paid $120 or whatever to have a dive buddy on that dive. Actually no, I paid $120 for someone to pass judgement on me. I didn't want judgement: I wanted improvement! But because I was above the minimum standard, I was given no instruction.
This even continued with my technical training as well. The net result was that in classes where I was far from the minimum standards (such as in classes that included new techniques or skills), I received noticeable instruction. In classes where this was not the case, I did not. I received a positive judgement, but not positive instruction. And this continued to be frustrating.
I have come to realize that my expectations were misplaced. While *I* was eager for continual suggestions for improvement, most students would *not* be. Instructors are merely providing what most people want -- and that's not exactly an unreasonable business model, even if it doesn't fit what *I* wanted. Also, why did I think it was reasonable for someone to work to improve every aspect of my diving, when the purpose of the class is focused on specific items? Of course, these items feed on each other until you end with the evaluate-not-instruct model.
What made my response to this worse was that during this entire time, I was very aware of this militant group called GUE and their intense SCUBA boot camp called 'Fundies'. So all while I was receiving my milquetoast instruction, I had in the back of my mind that this magic class would be all that I wanted.
So why didn't I take it? A few reasons, some good and some bad.
First, the time commitment. It's a week long. I could not get a week off work, and even if I could, I could *not* then take that time away from my family. (This was not me saying that this could not happen. This really could not happen.) PADI may get slammed as being "Put Another Dollar In", but there is real, actual, positive value in making things bite-sized, even if it costs more in the end. Because if a piece is too large, it doesn't matter how good or how cheap it is if you truly cannot swallow it.
Plus it's expensive. Well into four figures. Again, too much to bite off at once. Plus, it's far away (which factors into that expensive part, too). Plus it needs all new gear. (In 2019, this isn't quite as true, and the "right" gear is much more mainstream and available anyway. In the aughts, not *nearly* so much.)
But here's the *other* really, really big reason: because I knew I couldn't pass it. And I couldn't bring myself to take a class that I knew I could *not* pass, when I already knew the items that would prevent me from passing. Why would I spend multiple thousands of dollars and selfishly take a week away from my family to be told what I already knew? I can do that for free!
Yes, I knew even then that the point was that you'd be told *how* to *improve* on the things that you couldn't do, and it would still move you much farther ahead, even without a "pass". But that was just a bridge too far.
Don't think that I can't see the contradiction in this. I slam my early training as too focused on evaluation and minimum standards, yet I won't take the other class because I won't pass it. But can't there be an in-between? Can't there be bite-sized training that *isn't* simply focused on evaluation to a minimum standard, but truly focused on instruction and *then* evaluation?
And don't tell me Fundamentals Part 1. An interesting experiment: see how many instructors have filed an upcoming Fundamentals class for 2019. About 200. Now see how many Fundamentals Part 1 are offered. About 20. WORLDWIDE. The class may exist, but it's not one that gets taught. (Maybe it can't happen: maybe the economics just *require* the really big bite.)
Others might say, "That's what mentoring is for." Yeah, if you can find suitable mentors. That's not always easy. And as a newbie, you don't know the difference between a good mentor and a bad mentor. I've got a great story about how my mentor at that time took me on a dive that was *WAY* beyond my skills and training (an open-water diver going to 150' with planned O2-accelerated deco) and bad things happened. But he was a "great" diver -- if you don't know how any of that stuff is *supposed* to be done, anyway. In Michigan, divers like that outnumber responsible tech divers 10 to 1. Not good odds of finding a good mentor... (And there's zero GUE presence in Michigan.)
So, this is where things stood: a magical class that was beyond my logistical, financial and SCUBA capabilities to take, or a series of classes that I certainly *could* take, but left me wanting. And things stood that way for a decade, as I slowly acquired more and more cards.
But I'm now taking the class. What changed? A few things. One, my work situation has changed significantly, enough to make the class possible. Two, I've basically run out of other classes. If I want to get better (and I still do), I'll have to try something different. Three, I've run out of major obstacles to "passing" the GUE class. Before, I had a list of like 20 things that needed to actually change, not just improve. Now, I've run out. That doesn't mean that I think I can pass. I really don't (*certainly* not a tech pass): there's lots of skills I need to improve. But there isn't a specific skill that I can say, "That will stop me from any chance of passing because it's completely missing." So *now* I'll take the class: so that now they can show me what I'm still missing.
Yes, writing that out has clearly illustrated to me why that thinking is *so*... fundamentally wrong. 'Now that I think that there's not that much for me to learn, now I'm ready to take the class.' Really? That's why you take the class?
But in a world of evaluation, it *is* why. If the purpose is judgement rather than instruction, you take it when you will have a positive judgement.
I'm still worried about this aspect. Will my GUE class still be largely evaluation rather than instruction? Don't know. I've been assured it won't. I hope they're right.
The other thing I'm worried about: will my intense need to level -- to "pass" -- interfere with my learning? I hope not. I keep trying to tell myself that taking this class is *not* about passing -- it's *only* about getting better. In some ways, I believe this. I do *not* need this class. I will get my TDI Normoxic Trimix card whenever I feel like writing the check and spending the time -- I have no real doubt of that. And that's truly the last card I think I will need for multiple years at least. So a Tech Pass gives me nothing: I don't plan on taking Cave 1 or Tech 1, so who cares? But... I know me. No matter how much I say it doesn't matter (and it *really* doesn't), it doesn't mean I don't *care*.
So this is where I stand today. I'm trying to overcome the crippling mental and emotional limitations that I've put on myself that have caused me to continue to favor the education I *knew* was not providing me the value I was looking for, because I was too afraid and proud to invest the time, money, effort and humility into taking the class that I hoped would. Will the class provide me what I'm looking for? Well, it's probably not going to address the emotional damage -- that's likely on me alone.
I'll be happy if it it will at least provide the specific and deep SCUBA instruction I'm looking for!(Part two next: 10,000 character limit?!?
)
