WARNING: Jolly Dive boat captain by name of Paul sexually harassed me

Please register or login

Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.

Benefits of registering include

  • Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
  • A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
  • You can make this box go away

Joining is quick and easy. Log in or Register now!

So I'm a very young woman in a boat with a guy that previously heard boasting sexist crap, the jerk starts asking me to take my clothes off and then touches me. Obviously complaining about it once I'm back in civilization is blowing it out of proportion.

This is a true binary conversation.. until the average guy doesn't recognize the true fear most women (specially while young) feel on the most routine of situations, events like this will continue to not only happen but to also polarize the people around.
I hate the statement but here's one of " if you need an explanation most likely you won't understand it"
 
So I'm a very young woman in a boat with a guy that previously heard boasting sexist crap, the jerk starts asking me to take my clothes off and then touches me. Obviously complaining about it once I'm back in civilization is blowing it out of proportion.

This is a true binary conversation.. until the average guy doesn't recognize the true fear most women (specially while young) feel on the most routine of situations, events like this will continue to not only happen but to also polarize the people around.
I hate the statement but here's one of " if you need an explanation most likely you won't understand it"

Perhaps I'm misreading your text, but I ?guess (based from your other posts) you intended it to be read something like this:
"So, imagine I'm a very young woman in a boat with a guy that previously was heard boasting sexist crap, the jerk starts asking me to take my clothes off and then touches me. Obviously complaining about it once I'm back in civilization is not blowing it out of proportion.

This is a true binary conversation.. until the average guy doesn't recognizes the true fear most women (specially while young) feel on the most routine of situations, events like this will continue to not only happen but to also polarize the people around."
 
Being physically touched is no small thing, it’s assault. How was the OP to know that the touch wasn’t going to lead to something more aggressive. The opinion of the officer isn’t relevant, it’s how the OP felt that is.
If it happened in the U.K. the police report would be included on the sexual offenders register, where a search of the register on the individual would reveal the incident. Sounds over the top, but just getting accused in the U.K. has massive implications.
I would assume that there is some more qualification to “being physically touched”. I don’t think that a handshake, which is a physical touch, is considered an assault in the UK or is it?
 
I would assume that there is some more qualification to “being physically touched”. I don’t think that a handshake, which is a physical touch, is considered an assault in the UK or is it?
If the assailant got hold of the victim’s hand without permission, yes. It could be their (the assailant) way of keeping them (the victim) close or used as a restraint.
 
I would assume that there is some more qualification to “being physically touched”. I don’t think that a handshake, which is a physical touch, is considered an assault in the UK or is it?

A handshake is a "mutually agreed touch" (my terminology). I offer my hand and you consent to the touch by grasping it.
 
A handshake is a "mutually agreed touch" (my terminology). I offer my hand and you consent to the touch by grasping it.
We’ve got the former First Minister of Scotland facing sexual harassment allegations. Those in power, who historically would never faced such charges are now being brought to task.
 
I am an instructor and Girl Scout program partner. I've been teaching kids since 2008. One of the reasons that I get a fair number of women, young and not so young, is that I respect them and believe them when they say they have been mistreated. I publicly advertise that I have state child welfare clearance, state police and FBI background clearance, and Girl Scouts clearance (which is actually more thorough than the state police and FBI based on how they follow up on references).
I have personally seen instructors and other dive pros treat women like crap and as sexual objects. Usually, older men (40 and up) who act like they are all innocent and just being friendly. I've had women come to me to buy personal gear because of the way an instructor leered at them or touched them when helping them select fins.
One reported that an instructor seemed to take an awful lot of time explaining how her BC chest strap should be adjusted. I told her she should have slapped him.
When working with anyone I always explain when I might be touching them, how, and why. If they are uncomfortable with any of those situations we find a workaround. They also know that in an emergency, I will do what's necessary to assist them.
I never touch a female student other than a handshake where it was stated, I extend my hand and they take it briefly. I do have female students that are huggers. Knowing this I let them initiate the hug and it's quick and over. I've seen other rub their backs, arms, etc. That's not me.
The touchy-feely stuff is just creepy. It's not being extra friendly no matter what the old sexist attitudes try to see it as. It's rude, ignorant, and should be met without fear of reproach or disbelief if it's unwanted and the person is told.
You don't, unless you're a pervert, just go up and start touching or rubbing on someone you just met. It is assault and it doesn't matter whether you think it is or not. The person on the receiving end is who determines if it's assault. Not the perp. The perps perception of what's ok and what isn't doesn't matter one bit. The victim is the one that counts.
Don't want to be accused? Keep your filthy hands off of other people.
 
A handshake is a "mutually agreed touch" (my terminology). I offer my hand and you consent to the touch by grasping it.
I have had creepy guys who would not release my hand after an innocent hand shake, therebye turning a normal everyday courtesy into harassment. My sister quit her job because a creepy guy kept casually putting his hand on her shoulder, because his harassment style was to escalate whenever a girl rejected his supposedly innocent moves.
 
Perhaps I'm misreading your text, but I ?guess (based from your other posts) you intended it to be read something like this:
"So, imagine I'm a very young woman in a boat with a guy that previously was heard boasting sexist crap, the jerk starts asking me to take my clothes off and then touches me. Obviously complaining about it once I'm back in civilization is not blowing it out of proportion.

This is a true binary conversation.. until the average guy doesn't recognizes the true fear most women (specially while young) feel on the most routine of situations, events like this will continue to not only happen but to also polarize the people around."
Yep, you didn't understand what I presented.
 
A handshake is a "mutually agreed touch" (my terminology). I offer my hand and you consent to the touch by grasping it.
What about a tap on the shoulder when you see your buddy? Was this “mutually agreed to” in advance. My point is that pendulum appears to have swung to far in some case; not the current one apparently.
 

Back
Top Bottom