Want to Dive...Can't Find Dive Buddy...Etiquette on Third Wheel-ing it?

[TMHeimer]

I agree with tursiops and yourself about not going solo. My very first post-OW dive was at Vortex Spring on the FL panhandle. I was in exactly your position--plenty of divers there (even in Jan.), but they were all buddied up and I was reluctant to just ask to tag along. So I did go solo--but kept to maybe 20 feet depth. I didn't start diving solo after that until I had 75 dives (my buddy moved away). I still try to limit my solo dives to 30 feet or less--I know I can get to the surface doing a CESA from there--another big thread somewhere. I don`t recommend any solo diving to a new diver. If it becomes your only choice, is there a quarrylake close enough that would allow it?
My theory on very shallow solo dives is that as long as you avoid entanglement, it's pretty much glorified snorkeling. In fact, probably a bit safer, since if you ever did get entangled or other problem, you have Air while fixing it. Then again, you're not supposed to snorkel or even swim alone either.
You could take the Advanced course as suggested (which can be a good idea even with little experience, depending on your comfortability diving). You'd still not be "Advanced" and would still be a 3rd wheel. Dive vacations would probably work well, as on charters I just showed up and left getting buddied up problem with the crew. I would assume a dive club is not an option in your area or you would've looked into it. I did that when first certified, but my location at the time made the travel not really practical.

 

[KathyV]

I'm guessing that it would be hard to find weekend dives in your area during the colder seasons. Would it be feasible for you to travel to a warmer climate for a dive trip? The Scubaboard Surge is going to Curacao in January and there might still be someone looking for a dive buddy:

ScubaBoard Surge 2019 Curacao Package Deal

 

[northernone]

I know guys who have good success by hanging around the local fill station and asking people if they know of other new divers wanting to dive. The person running the compressor also knows who rents out tanks and needs a buddy. Word of mouth still works pretty well.

The same goes for showing up at the dive site and being friendly. With the right attitude it's not hard to meet other divers who don't mind sharing the water with you.

Some other experienced divers might not want to hang around the shallows but they might have an uncle/cousin/aunt who needs a buddy and they can put you in contact. Sometimes you can also catch an experienced diver who enjoys mentoring as well or is testing out a new configuration. They tend to hang around shallow too. Or photographers.

I've done the advice above successfully a few dozen times... But mainly dive solo for freedom of schedule and lack of fellow divers with the same dive plans.

Cameron

 

[Bowers]

from what ive seen its usually not a good idea to show up with the intent of trying to find an insta buddy. I have however had guys tag along with me before after theyre dive buddy bailed on them. On one occassion i joined into another group because my buddy had sinus issues and thumbed the day.
so IF you were to do the tag along thing, i agree that you dive their plan and dont go with them if their plan is beyond your comfort/skill level. Also offering to pay for their air fill or take some pictures of them on the dive is a good way to make yourself "worth bringing along".

Another idea that may cost more is to travel somewhere that will do instabuddy charter trips.
or keep looking for a local buddy...

 

[dewdropsonrosa]

AOW only means you are advanced beyond open water. Many AOW-card holders are NOT advanced divers.
If you don't want to do AOW, do some other class. The point is to have an instructor and classmates.

I agree with @tursiops that starting AOW would be a good move. AOW (which is widely understood to be additional skill training, not a proficiency level) classes give you the opportunity to dive with (1) a performance goal and (2) feedback from an instructor or other experienced divers.

As a beginner diver, you gain the most benefit from high-quality practice in which you feel comfortable with your goals, the diving environment, your buddies, etc. A well-run class is the place to find this.

 

[Barnaby'sDad]

I agree with tursiops and yourself about not going solo. My very first post-OW dive was at Vortex Spring on the FL panhandle. I was in exactly your position--plenty of divers there (even in Jan.), but they were all buddied up and I was reluctant to just ask to tag along. So I did go solo--but kept to maybe 20 feet depth. I didn't start diving solo after that until I had 75 dives (my buddy moved away). I still try to limit my solo dives to 30 feet or less--I know I can get to the surface doing a CESA from there--another big thread somewhere. I don`t recommend any solo diving to a new diver. If it becomes your only choice, is there a quarrylake close enough that would allow it?

My theory on very shallow solo dives is that as long as you avoid entanglement, it's pretty much glorified snorkeling. In fact, probably a bit safer, since if you ever did get entangled or other problem, you have Air while fixing it. Then again, you're not supposed to snorkel or even swim alone either.

You could take the Advanced course as suggested (which can be a good idea even with little experience, depending on your comfortability diving). You'd still not be "Advanced" and would still be a 3rd wheel. Dive vacations would probably work well, as on charters I just showed up and left getting buddied up problem with the crew. I would assume a dive club is not an option in your area or you would've looked into it. I did that when first certified, but my location at the time made the travel not really practical.

There's nowhere that I've seen that permits it (your going in plan of diving solo) unless you have a solo or self-sufficient certification.

That's part of why I threw Phoenix out there as an option, if such a scenario played out. Let's say that you drive 2+ hours to get to a dive site and your "buddy" is a no show. There are no other divers on the surface that you can pair up with. What do you do? Pack up and go home, hang out and hope that a pair surfaces and wouldn't mind you tagging along on their next dive, or do a VERY conservative solo dive? ex. Shallower than 30', avoid any entanglements, etc.?

Unfortunately, it's not a great time of year for local club dives. Most of the chatter on the big local group is people looking to head somewhere warm, as @KathyV suggested.

I'm guessing that it would be hard to find weekend dives in your area during the colder seasons. Would it be feasible for you to travel to a warmer climate for a dive trip? The Scubaboard Surge is going to Curacao in January and there might still be someone looking for a dive buddy:

ScubaBoard Surge 2019 Curacao Package Deal

Unfortunately, I don't get a lot of time off from work. I'll burn up most of my leave over my Christmas break visiting my family. For the time being, the best that I can hope for is a couple dives here and there within a couple hours on the weekend.

I'm signed up for a boat dive on the 17th. If the weather holds out (the last outing got cancelled), I should be able to get a couple dives in there. I'm really hoping that place (Kent Island Scuba) pans out. They're actually a shorter drive for me than Lake Phoenix and it would be in salt water (Chesapeake Bay), which would cool.

 

[Barnaby'sDad]

I know guys who have good success by hanging around the local fill station and asking people if they know of other new divers wanting to dive. The person running the compressor also knows who rents out tanks and needs a buddy. Word of mouth still works pretty well.

The same goes for showing up at the dive site and being friendly. With the right attitude it's not hard to meet other divers who don't mind sharing the water with you.

Some other experienced divers might not want to hang around the shallows but they might have an uncle/cousin/aunt who needs a buddy and they can put you in contact. Sometimes you can also catch an experienced diver who enjoys mentoring as well or is testing out a new configuration. They tend to hang around shallow too. Or photographers.

I've done the advice above successfully a few dozen times... But mainly dive solo for freedom of schedule and lack of fellow divers with the same dive plans.

Cameron

I've been asking around. The response that I've been getting is that most of the newer divers are either done for the season or looking to dive somewhere warmer.

Whenever I hit the 100 dive mark, I plan on getting a solo/self-reliant certification, for exactly this reason.

The biggest reason that I can see for me to get an AOW certification at the moment is that it would open up the pool of potential buddies. I've spoken with several divers...met at shops, through my instructor, and other places...that would be game to mentor a newer diver, provided that person was able (certification wise) to dive in conditions that were closer aligned to what they're looking to dive.

from what ive seen its usually not a good idea to show up with the intent of trying to find an insta buddy. I have however had guys tag along with me before after theyre dive buddy bailed on them. On one occassion i joined into another group because my buddy had sinus issues and thumbed the day.

so IF you were to do the tag along thing, i agree that you dive their plan and dont go with them if their plan is beyond your comfort/skill level. Also offering to pay for their air fill or take some pictures of them on the dive is a good way to make yourself "worth bringing along".

Another idea that may cost more is to travel somewhere that will do instabuddy charter trips.
or keep looking for a local buddy...

Thank you for posting. That was my going in assumption of how it would be received by most divers and it's why I started this thread. Most of the divers that I've met so far remind me a lot of myself and the people I tend to run into in some of my other hobbies. That is to say that they plan things out and have an expectation of how an outing will go. They don't want a monkey-wrench thrown into their plans.

I can appreciate that, as I'm in the same camp...as far as how I look at that kind of thing. ex. The golf example I threw out above. Lots of golfers don't mind getting paired up with an instabuddy. I'm not one of those golfers. I plan things in advance, I like to know what to expect, and It throws things out of whack for me (enjoyment wise) when plans change at the last minute, so I am definitely conscious of the fact that this could be a concern for others.

The place that I mentioned (Kent Island Scuba) will buddy you up with someone. If you don't have a buddy and there are no other singles...they pair you up with a DM. If my dives with them later in the month go well, I plan on diving with them on a regular basis.

Thank you very much for your responses. I think I'm just going to have to consider pushing up my AOW plans a bit. I may ask my instructor if he can do it later in the month or next month.

 

[tursiops]

That is to say that they plan things out and have an expectation of how an outing will go. They don't want a monkey-wrench thrown into their plans.

I plan things in advance, I like to know what to expect, and It throws things out of whack for me (enjoyment wise) when plans change at the last minute, so I am definitely conscious of the fact that this could be a concern for others.

Not everyone is like this. In the general population, it's about 50-50 on those who plan it out and those who take it as it comes.

I may ask my instructor if he can do it later in the month or next month.

You may want a thicker wetsuit.....be prepared for about 40F for the AOW Deep dive in most of the area quarries. there is a good reason many hang it up about this time of year!

 

[Barnaby'sDad]

Not everyone is like this. In the general population, it's about 50-50 on those who plan it out and those who take it as it comes.

You may want a thicker wetsuit.....be prepared for about 40F for the AOW Deep dive in most of the area quarries. there is a good reason many hang it up about this time of year!

...and then spend a significant amount of time complaining about it after 'x' is over with.

ex. I worked with a guy for years that had a nickname. He even introduced himself as that nickname when I showed up. I spent eight hours a day for literally years listening to him and others using only that nickname.

The guy leaves and confides in one person that he couldn't f*****g stand the nickname. I was so shocked that I don't remember much of the rant.

It bothered this guy to the point that he was still ate up over it enough to blow up about it MONTHS later. This was someone that everyone assumed was cool with it (he seemed like a pretty mellow guy).

Those that truly roll with things and aren't just stewing over things in private...I'd put the percentage more in the x < 25% range.

I picked up a hood and gloves. For what will likely be a limited amount of bottom time...considering what I spent on this wet suit, I'll just sack up and deal with it, lol.

 

[tursiops]

Those that truly roll with things and aren't just stewing over things in private...I'd put the percentage more in the x < 25% range.

My 50-50 number is not based on my personal experience. It is based on reported research and surveys. Don't let one jerk determine your outlook on life!