What did you just say?

[Tigerman]

New little student girl walking past.

Me: How was the dive and viz?
She all smiling and happy: The dive was nice and viz good, but I burst my ear drum so came up early.

Ive actually heard similar, but the truth was more that the person had struggled equalizing and FEARED that the eardrum burst more than anything. Hope thats the case here as well...

 

[JazzeD]

Yeah she had a inner squeeze. But she did not know the difference.

 

[Tigerman]

Good good... Well, that it was just squeeze and not actually ruptured of course..

 

[cb5150]

As a DM I was watching an open water instructor teaching CPR. As he prepared to demonstrate chest compressions, he stated "Place the heel of your hand on the victim's scrotum." Clearly he meant to say "sternum"...I hope. But then again, this is the same instructor who told students that each blade of an Atomic split-fin moved independently. He grabbed a fin and showed how, during a normal stroke, one side of the blade went up while at the same time the other went down. I asked if thats why Atomics were so expensive, because they obviously have created a technology that defies the laws of physics. He no longer works at our shop.

 

[Tigerman]

If I have a caridac event, feel free NOT to place the heel of your hand on my scrotum. I dont think it'll do me much good

 

[supergaijin]

Just came off a loooooong week with a couple of divers. For every single thing they did 'wrong' the next words out of their mouths were:

"Yes, but..."

Grabbing coral, harrassing wildlife, kicking coral, going too deep, running very low on air, going in to deco, zero buddy awareness....

One of the divers is supposedly a PADI IDC Staff Istr + TDI with more than 7000 dives (her words). The other was her student with about 30 dives.

During the check-in the first question was about how deep they can go. The second was about getting a discount. When asked where they can buy shark's teeth, I had to reply..... in Russia. Haven't had divers like that in a very long time.

My personal favourite however was another guest a few years back... also from Russia... who went in to deco, didn't do his stop, and his D9 shut him down for diving. His comment was...

"I think computer.... mistake".

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Dumbest thing I've heard ... "I never worry about how much air I use. That's what dive guides are for." I've heard it multiple times, in several variations ... sometimes on trips, sometimes posted right here on ScubaBoard, and once from a so-called cave diver ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Progen]

Dumbest thing I've heard ... "I never worry about how much air I use. That's what dive guides are for." I've heard it multiple times, in several variations ... sometimes on trips, sometimes posted right here on ScubaBoard, and once from a so-called cave diver ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

Jesus, that one is dumber than the leisure diver one.

 

[highdesert]

"Place the heel of your hand on the victim's scrotum."

Wow ... thanks for the rescue, man ... you saved my life! But it really took a lot outta me ... I feel like I got kicked in the n#ts!

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

"Place the heel of your hand on the victim's scrotum." ... He no longer works at our shop.

... but he's got a promising future with the TSA ... :shocked2: ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)