stormysea
Guest
My thoughts exactly...lesson one-no hooded vests. Lesson two-always try on wetsuits with a reliable buddy!!
Makes me feel very very wary of wetsuits!!
Makes me feel very very wary of wetsuits!!
Close call in the dressing room
- Thread starter boulderjohn
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tiggrr
Contributor
I won't ever live down the almost suffocating myself the first time I tried on my hooded vest.
But, I don't care. Its totally worth the effort every time I use it here in the chilly Great Lakes.
You just have to focus.
But, I don't care. Its totally worth the effort every time I use it here in the chilly Great Lakes.
You just have to focus.
*disclaimer: some of the"facts" may not be completely accurate.
Little bit of history (this is needed to provide the setting):
My family and I (we have 5 children) have been living in Estonia (cold Baltic country) for 3 years as missionaries. We made friends with a decent group of people. Last year in mass this group decided to get scuba certified (seems I am having better luck getting them in the water than in church, hmmm).
I was certified 25 years ago, so I have been a diver a long time. However, with 5 children, and being a preacher (read, “Preaching in church Sunday morning, not breathing through a regulator!” I am not able to get in the water as often as I would like! Plus those 5 critters eat a lot and somehow they don’t get the idea that 1st and 2nd stages are far more important than milk and eggs, so money usually gets frivolously wasted at the grocery store instead of prudently invested at the LDS (how selfish of them.)
The group had chartered a boat for a wreck dive in relatively shallow water. This was going to be my first time diving in Estonia and I hadn’t been in the water for 3 years. I did own “farmer johns” for years, but it wasn’t a new suit when I got it (read “OLD tech”. I had never been properly “introduced” to a state of the art, 1-piece, rear-zip 7mm suit (inc. shin and knee guards) with accompanying 5mm hooded shorty. However, I had ditched my oldey-moldey wetsuit some time ago.
We all entered this dive shop to rent gear. I felt a little better because I still had my own mask, fins, booties, gloves, etc. The rest of the group rented everything. I could see the look of contempt for a slightly (???) overweight preacher change to one of profound respect when I smugly announced to the guy that I would NOT need the above mentioned items. Now Estonians are descendants of the Spartans who studied the philosophical views of the Stoics. They are NOT known for excessive (or even minute, for that matter) or effusive emotions. Got it? (With stoic Estonians you have to really pay attention to these subtle signals; he raised his left eyebrow a millimeter or so, so I KNEW he was impressed with me.)
He looked at me and handed me an XL 7mm, and XL shortie (Scandinavian suits run a size or two too small I’m told.) and said, “Better try it on.” We are in the “gear room”. I think that it was a 100-man Finnish sauna before the shop started rented the place. All they did was remove the seating and turn up the thermostat a little. I had been warned to not bring my coffee into the room because it would boil away before I could drink it.
Here is this whole group of my friends (all men) watching as I stripped to my skivvies and nonchalantly proceeded to step into this stupid suit backwards (zipper in the front). They all stopped doing what they were doing to watch. I remember thinking, “Hmm, that’s odd. I wonder why they are all watching me. It is awful quiet in here. Haven’t they ever seen anyone put on a wetsuit before?” (Not like THAT they haven’t!!)
This whole time I am chanting this mantra under my breath, “Don’t cuss - you’re a preacher. Don’t cuss - you’re a preacher.”
Of course, being a former Marine, I wasn’t going to let a foreign wetsuit whip me, so I plowed ahead, tugging and pulling and finally got the stupid thing over my shoulders and zipped. (Oh, the male ego!) By this time, I am about to have a heat stroke and I am thinking, “Boy, technology sure hasn’t done much to improve wetsuits in the last 30 years. These things are MORE uncomfortable than they were years ago! And what in the world are this plastic like calf guards for on the back of my legs. Boy, it that dumb! This stupid suit is sure baggy in some areas and overly tight in others. Talk about stupid! Man, the neck is too high in the front. How is anyone supposed to breathe?! It’s choking me!”
Talk about choking! Nobody said anything for a few minutes and NOBODY even cracked a smile. Then one man said, “Suits on backwards.” That was all! Nobody is moving yet. They are all still staring.
Course my face is already so red from the 685 degree* heat that it couldn’t have gotten any redder, but have you ever tried to get one of those buggers off when it has been put on backwards???
Then I pulled out my fins from my dive bag to put them in the boxes that were going to the boat. When they saw my bright yellow Force Fins, Arno (one of the men) yelled, “Look! Donald Duck!” That was it. They lost it. All started laughing out loud. They couldn’t take anymore. Even Estonians have limits.
Little bit of history (this is needed to provide the setting):
My family and I (we have 5 children) have been living in Estonia (cold Baltic country) for 3 years as missionaries. We made friends with a decent group of people. Last year in mass this group decided to get scuba certified (seems I am having better luck getting them in the water than in church, hmmm).
I was certified 25 years ago, so I have been a diver a long time. However, with 5 children, and being a preacher (read, “Preaching in church Sunday morning, not breathing through a regulator!”
I am not able to get in the water as often as I would like! Plus those 5 critters eat a lot and somehow they don’t get the idea that 1st and 2nd stages are far more important than milk and eggs, so money usually gets frivolously wasted at the grocery store instead of prudently invested at the LDS (how selfish of them.)The group had chartered a boat for a wreck dive in relatively shallow water. This was going to be my first time diving in Estonia and I hadn’t been in the water for 3 years. I did own “farmer johns” for years, but it wasn’t a new suit when I got it (read “OLD tech”
. I had never been properly “introduced” to a state of the art, 1-piece, rear-zip 7mm suit (inc. shin and knee guards) with accompanying 5mm hooded shorty. However, I had ditched my oldey-moldey wetsuit some time ago.We all entered this dive shop to rent gear. I felt a little better because I still had my own mask, fins, booties, gloves, etc. The rest of the group rented everything. I could see the look of contempt for a slightly (???) overweight preacher change to one of profound respect when I smugly announced to the guy that I would NOT need the above mentioned items. Now Estonians are descendants of the Spartans who studied the philosophical views of the Stoics. They are NOT known for excessive (or even minute, for that matter) or effusive emotions. Got it? (With stoic Estonians you have to really pay attention to these subtle signals; he raised his left eyebrow a millimeter or so, so I KNEW he was impressed with me.)
He looked at me and handed me an XL 7mm, and XL shortie (Scandinavian suits run a size or two too small I’m told.) and said, “Better try it on.” We are in the “gear room”. I think that it was a 100-man Finnish sauna before the shop started rented the place. All they did was remove the seating and turn up the thermostat a little. I had been warned to not bring my coffee into the room because it would boil away before I could drink it.
Here is this whole group of my friends (all men) watching as I stripped to my skivvies and nonchalantly proceeded to step into this stupid suit backwards (zipper in the front). They all stopped doing what they were doing to watch. I remember thinking, “Hmm, that’s odd. I wonder why they are all watching me. It is awful quiet in here. Haven’t they ever seen anyone put on a wetsuit before?” (Not like THAT they haven’t!!)
This whole time I am chanting this mantra under my breath, “Don’t cuss - you’re a preacher. Don’t cuss - you’re a preacher.”
Of course, being a former Marine, I wasn’t going to let a foreign wetsuit whip me, so I plowed ahead, tugging and pulling and finally got the stupid thing over my shoulders and zipped. (Oh, the male ego!) By this time, I am about to have a heat stroke and I am thinking, “Boy, technology sure hasn’t done much to improve wetsuits in the last 30 years. These things are MORE uncomfortable than they were years ago! And what in the world are this plastic like calf guards for on the back of my legs. Boy, it that dumb! This stupid suit is sure baggy in some areas and overly tight in others. Talk about stupid! Man, the neck is too high in the front. How is anyone supposed to breathe?! It’s choking me!”
Talk about choking! Nobody said anything for a few minutes and NOBODY even cracked a smile. Then one man said, “Suits on backwards.” That was all! Nobody is moving yet. They are all still staring.
Course my face is already so red from the 685 degree* heat that it couldn’t have gotten any redder, but have you ever tried to get one of those buggers off when it has been put on backwards???
Then I pulled out my fins from my dive bag to put them in the boxes that were going to the boat. When they saw my bright yellow Force Fins, Arno (one of the men) yelled, “Look! Donald Duck!” That was it. They lost it. All started laughing out loud. They couldn’t take anymore. Even Estonians have limits.
With that writing talent I can't believe you don't have them rolling in the aisles every sunday! Best laugh I have had in yonks! Thanks
Okay. Here's another after event for you. I don't do cold. I mean, I live in weather that is - warm to "the white people are melting.."- hot. So. Cold for me 20 celcius. MAN is that cold. I mean 3 mil longsuit cold.... I know, I know.....
So, with my shiny wetsuit and COLD day, we goes a diving. Back when I was fresh faced and totally noob. Well, the ride there is cold, the gear set up is cold, the dive is actually warmer than the surface interval.... We huddle together for the quick ride back to land.
Everyone starts unloading and unpacking gear for the clean up. The dm has just filled this Huge metal rib high 4ft by 4ft container with a hose of hot water. The others are under the showers warming up and unwetsuiting... But there's this big ole' tub! I climb right in... Soaking so nice. Hey your wetsuit comes off smooth and easy in here! Why didn't the others see this?
Then they all start coming over and looking at me- no real expression except maybe looking for my short bus tag.....
They start putting their gear in and rinsing their gear. One says,"Excuse me, could you move over a little? This is the rinse tank. You're standing on the cleaning solution bag....."
Me- climbing out like a dog that got caught peeing on the rug..... But my wetsuit was still half on and around my knees and ankles....
Me- half over the side, now falling the rest of the way over on the ground, now flailing around with my lower body trapped in the tentacles of the suit, dragging somebody's hoses.......
oops.
So, with my shiny wetsuit and COLD day, we goes a diving. Back when I was fresh faced and totally noob. Well, the ride there is cold, the gear set up is cold, the dive is actually warmer than the surface interval.... We huddle together for the quick ride back to land.
Everyone starts unloading and unpacking gear for the clean up. The dm has just filled this Huge metal rib high 4ft by 4ft container with a hose of hot water. The others are under the showers warming up and unwetsuiting... But there's this big ole' tub! I climb right in... Soaking so nice. Hey your wetsuit comes off smooth and easy in here! Why didn't the others see this?
Then they all start coming over and looking at me- no real expression except maybe looking for my short bus tag.....
They start putting their gear in and rinsing their gear. One says,"Excuse me, could you move over a little? This is the rinse tank. You're standing on the cleaning solution bag....."
Me- climbing out like a dog that got caught peeing on the rug..... But my wetsuit was still half on and around my knees and ankles....
Me- half over the side, now falling the rest of the way over on the ground, now flailing around with my lower body trapped in the tentacles of the suit, dragging somebody's hoses.......
oops.
almitywife
Vegemite Mod
sir, if you give a sermon like you write here, i'ld book a seat for next sunday!
heeheheheheheheh
sunnydude
Guest
Here is my story from last night:
My new suit arrived yesterday and was excited to try it on. After reading on this board and others that it is good to have a helper I made sure the wife was home to help.
The suit is an H2O Odyssey Coronado semi-dry. I am 6'2" and through correspondance with the dealer we decided the XXL should fit. The legs fit I can tell you that. Got my arms into it and couldn't move them. Thought I would try to put the hood on. This is where it became evident the sizing is a bit off and not meant for the limits of the height. I couldn't get the d#$m hood off. Can hear the heat kick on in the house, my 3 year old says I look like a diver and I am screaming for my wife to come up and help. Now I am back to the drawing board but heading to a LDS today to see if they have anything.
I will say the suit is nicely constructed. For the price it is hard to beat.
Just thought I would share my adventure from last night.
My new suit arrived yesterday and was excited to try it on. After reading on this board and others that it is good to have a helper I made sure the wife was home to help.
The suit is an H2O Odyssey Coronado semi-dry. I am 6'2" and through correspondance with the dealer we decided the XXL should fit. The legs fit I can tell you that. Got my arms into it and couldn't move them. Thought I would try to put the hood on. This is where it became evident the sizing is a bit off and not meant for the limits of the height. I couldn't get the d#$m hood off. Can hear the heat kick on in the house, my 3 year old says I look like a diver and I am screaming for my wife to come up and help. Now I am back to the drawing board but heading to a LDS today to see if they have anything.
I will say the suit is nicely constructed. For the price it is hard to beat.
Just thought I would share my adventure from last night.
Missdirected
Contributor
Any new stories? 
Any new tales from the Dressing Room
ScubaSteve
Wow.....what a DB
AndyA comes through with an almost successful :shelli:
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