True Floridians Know...

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I know that Ichetucknee is not Ichnatucknee, slight difference, but there is a difference.
 
Now being out here in the big wide open west we do not measure distances in miles, minutes, or hours. No we use a more common denominator - 6 packs.
 
Ah, now comes Chicago

[SIZE=+2]You Know You're From Chicago if......[/SIZE]
  • You - correctly - don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois.
  • You become irate at people who do.
  • You measure distance in minutes.
  • You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines".
  • Your school classes were canceled because of excessive cold.
  • Your school classes were canceled because of excessive heat.
  • You've even had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
  • Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.
  • You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
  • You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."
  • You can locate Illinois on the United States map.
  • Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is at least twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.
  • You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked.
  • When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different."
  • You carry jumper cables in your car.
  • You know what the numbers I-80, 55, and 90 mean.
  • You realize that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.
  • You refer to any interstate highway as "the Tollway" or else "the expressway."
  • You know the given names of the interstates, i.e.: Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan.
  • You refer to anything south of I-80 as "Southern Illinois".
  • You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake".
  • You refer to Chicago as "The City".
  • No matter where you are, when you hear the term "Downtown" you immediately assume they are talking about Downtown Chicago.
  • You find yourself referring to the central business district of any city you happen to be in as "The Loop."
  • You have two favorite football teams: The Bears and anyone who beats the Green Bay Packers.
  • A brawl over which Chicago baseball team is better breaks out every year at your neighborhood block party
  • Even though you live 3 hours south, you still buy "The Trib."
  • You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog.
  • You know what Chicago Style Pizza is -- and feel pity for those that don't, and with good reason!
  • You know why they call Chicago "the Windy City".
  • You understand what "lake-effect" means.
  • You know the difference between Amtrack and Metra, and know which station they end up at.
  • You have ridden an "L" (elevated train).
  • Your living room is called the "front room." (pronounced fronchroom)
  • You know the names of the interstates:
    Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan, and the Edens, but you call them all "expressways."
  • You know what the "cribs" are.
  • The "Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1985
  • You're a SOX FAN and hate CUBS FANS
  • You're a CUBS FAN "and don't give a damn!"
  • You have been to "Boy's Town"
  • You have eaten in "Greek Town"
  • You have been to "Old Town"
  • You have had a corn beef sandwich at Mannys
  • You know how to pronounce "[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Devon[/FONT][/FONT]" .... DEE-VON ... not Devin
  • You drive to the North suburbs by taking "The Outer Drive" even though no such road exists.
  • There's no view like the view when "drivin' on LSD" !
  • When giving directions - You say ...
    Go toward Wisconsin; Go South; Go West; Go towards the Lake!
  • You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car!
  • You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.
  • You know what "Italian Beef" is.
  • The thought of it makes your mouth water
    "Italian Beef - Italian Sausage - Combo"
  • You know that the Chicago Campus of the University of Illinois was at one time located on Navy Pier --- and it was called by the students "Harvard on the Rocks
  • You know the difference between [FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Amtrak[/FONT][/FONT] and Metra, and know which station they end up at. (Do note the preposition.)
  • You have seen the Chicago River turn "green" on St Patrick's Day
  • You know the Chicago River flows away from the Lake -- not into it !
  • You ride the "L."
  • You ride the "subway"
  • You know the difference between the "Red Line" and the "Brown Line"
  • You can distinguish among the following area codes: 847, 630, 773, 708, 312, & 815.
  • You respond to the question "Where are you from with a "side." Example: "WESS SIDE," "SOUT SIDE," or "NORT SIDE."
  • You wear gym shoes, not sneakers.
  • And, the CHICAGO CLASSIC: At some time in your life in the winter, you shoveled out your car and used your furniture to guard your parking spot. It is a known fact that the Mayor of Chicago supports this concept !
 
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You know you're a Coloradoan if....
1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day
2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.
3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.
4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian.
5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your own special bike lane.
6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching.
7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.
8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire beer.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.
11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and spring blizzards
12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU victory.
13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.
14. You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.
16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.
17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.
18. You have surge protectors on every outlet.
19. April showers bring May blizzards.
20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been.
21. You know what a 'Chinook' is.
22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is.
23. You know what a "fourteener" is.
24. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.
25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does.
26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.
27. You know who Alfred Packer was and what he did.
28. You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.
29. SPF 90 is not out of the question.
30. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.
31. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.
32. Thunder has set off your car alarm.
33. A full moon has never kept you awake at night.
34. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.
35. A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.
36. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.
37. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!
38. You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.
39. You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.
40. You know where the real "South Park" is.
41. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight
42. Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass.'
43. You've 'checked for ticks'
44. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka with a hood.
45. You've gone snow skiing in July and...
46. You've played golf in January and.....
47. They were in the same year!
48. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could 'run into both oceans'
49. And most important: You get a certain satisfaction knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.
50. You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is ..
51. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your Colorado friends.
 
You know you're a Coloradoan if....



You know that nothing can be built in Boulder because all the inspectors are frustrated PHDs in squeaky shoes.
 
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You might be a Floridian if... You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive. Flip-flops are everyday wear.Shoes are for business meetings and church........ No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it's Easter or Christmas. Sweet tea can be served at any meal. An alligator once walked through your neighborhood. You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to Florida. You measure distance in minutes. All the local festivals are named after a fruit. You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer,not summer but really hot, and Christmas. It's not soda, cola, or pop...it's coke, regardless of brand or flavor, "What kinda coke you want?" You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides. You pass on the right and honk at the elderly. You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself. You get angry when people say "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH" You know what the "stingray shuffle" is, and why it's important! You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee and Econolacahatchee
 
When I visited Florida, I heard that Cat #2s were the ones not worth waking up for, rather than 3s. I thought 3s were the ones to have parties. 4s to pack up and head north to Georgia. 5s to pack even faster.

I also learned where Sloppy Joes come from when I went to Key West. They should teach this to little kids in school all across the USA. Everyone loves them, but nobody will give credit where they come from.

And I also heard about the "Florida State Criminoles" -- the big party school.
 
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