Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[spt29970]

The funniest/dumbest dive quote I heard was when I was showing this one fellow some of my photos and he said to me with a supercilious tone, "I have 6000 dives. I have seen everything under the sea that there is to see". I could bare keep from laughing. I told this to a friend who was a commercial diver for 40 years and he said that he stopped counting at 60,000 and he still hasn't seen everything under the sea that there is to see! Before you tell me that 60,000 hours isn't possible think about the fact that he dove 6-10 hours a day, 6 days a week, since the early 60s.

 

[all4scuba05]

A very long time ago when we used flash bulbs for our cameras, one nice on-looker asked if we still had to lick the base of the bulb for our underwater flash to work.

What's a flash bulb?

 

[micklock]

I think they used those before electricity.

 

[4sak3n]

Naw, its one of those funny whatchamacallums you plug into the USB port of your computer when your can light fails.

 

[SCUBAJENNIFER]

DM in Aruba if you had a great time give us a tip if not take a ten dollar bill write down why I suck crumple it up and throw it at me.

Very nice...

 

[24940]

My OWI on wetsuits and diving: There are two types of diver: Those who pee in their wetsuits and those who lie about it.

Checkouts this weeken: A family is picnicking when we arrive and watch as students schep their gear to the water, don their wetsuits and prepare to dive. Prior to the briefing, one of the family asks if we are going to dive there...... I wanted to reply that, no, we are just gearing up here, but will be diving elsewhere. What I said was.... Yes. I'm getting better, one day the guy with the keen sense of the obvious might be a student.

 

[SCUBAJENNIFER]

My OWI on wetsuits and diving: There are two types of diver: Those who pee in their wetsuits and those who lie about it.

Checkouts this weeken: A family is picnicking when we arrive and watch as students schep their gear to the water, don their wetsuits and prepare to dive. Prior to the briefing, one of the family asks if we are going to dive there...... I wanted to reply that, no, we are just gearing up here, but will be diving elsewhere. What I said was.... Yes. I'm getting better, one day the guy with the keen sense of the obvious might be a student.

That must have been hard for you Dave...

 

[Tomeck]

I never laughed in diving, because the diving is a serious thing with which one does not joke.

 

[24940]

That must have been hard for you Dave...

It would have been harder, but I was able to unload a bit earlier on a boater who decided to park 20' from the dive flag to cast. He moved, but the looks on my students faces said I may have been a tad aggressive in my request.

 

[Teamcasa]

It would have been harder, but I was able to unload a bit earlier on a boater who decided to park 20' from the dive flag to cast. He moved, but the looks on my students faces said I may have been a tad aggressive in my request.

Why? Did you pull out the waterproof Glock?