X Walks Into a Bar Jokes

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A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons."I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and whacks the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his genitals, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the first of his free drinks.

He then makes another offer: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."

A hush falls over the crowd.

A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar."I'll try," says a woman, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
 
not an *******.jpg
 
Three major reps from the big breweries go to a bar after a convention the budweisser rep orders a bud the Coors rep orders a Coors light and the Guinesse rep orders a water the bud and Coors rep ask him what's wrong and the Guinesse rep replies I thought we were all drinking water
 
A bear walks into a bar and the bar keep said they don't serve bears. the bear leaves
the next day
the bear walks into a bar and the bar keep said they don't serve bears. the bear leaves
so goes the next 2 days. the next day the bar goes into the bar and the bar keep replied like normal.
the bear said either he gets served or he eats the girl at the end of the bar. The bar keep refused and the bear ate the girl.
the bar keep says he will not serve drug addicts
the bear said he was a bear and not a drug addict
the bar keep said that was a bar bitch you ate, so get out
 
A furious man walks into a busy bar with carrying 2 revolvers and shouts um gonna kill whoever slept with my wife the bar goes silent except for one man sitting by himself in the back who responds you didn't bring enough bullets
 
A Search Engine Marketing expert walks into a bar, tavern, night club, restaurant, barstools, liquor, beer, gin, vodka, cocktails, drinks, mixed drinks, live music, cover charge, happy hour, last call, closing time...
 
A Search Engine Marketing expert walks into a bar, tavern, night club, restaurant, barstools, liquor, beer, gin, vodka, cocktails, drinks, mixed drinks, live music, cover charge, happy hour, last call, closing time...
Great, Ray, RJP, PADI Pro, NJ Diver, prolific poster, survey master!
 

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