Words Women Use...

[Royal Frog]

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks: this will cause you to have one of 'those' arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade

NOTHING
This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing' usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine.'

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT. This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing".

 

[divrnr]

True, oh too true... I think my last wife used all those hourly...

 

[CTurtle]

Can't let my husband see this post...
then he'll have me ALMOST figured out!


Cindy

 

[Spectre]

What about "whatever". As in "Honey, should I do this, or that first?".

A whatever response never results in an 100% chance of getting "thanks". There is a slight chance that the action you chose was the correct choice, but most of the time "whatever" is followed by "thanks a lot" when you have completed the task you chose. At which point you do the other task and see if there actually was a right decision....

 

[Wreck Ranger]

The only thing you forgot is the phrase "hey honey what ya doin) This is followed by somthing that you don't know yet but you are going to find out momentarely. For instance: can I borrow some ______, or I need to go _______. I guess there could be one thing that follows this that could be in our favor, but I think that's not a suitable subject for this post:1st: .

 

[jiveturkey]

Oh this is gold. I love it.

 

[divemistress]

"whatever" is a man's word![

when uttered by a man, "whatever" signifies one of two things:

(a) complete and total indifference to a woman and whatever(!) she is saying. for example, would you like steak for dinner or chicken? whatever. or, would you like to go to the movies tonight or stay in? whatever. or, would you prefer that i empty out our joint bank account and move to the virgin islands, or that i simply max out our credit cards on jewelry? whatever......in these examples, whatever generally means, talk all you like, but i'm not paying attention to a thing.

(b) period. end of discussion. as in, i don't care how thoughtful or well reasoned your opinion may be, i'm not even going to consider it. frankly, i'm not interested in engaging with you right now on this or any subject. in this instance, it is the male equivalent of "fine".

"whatever" used in the first sense generally elicits a
"loud sigh". in the second sense, it may provoke her to pack her bags -- or to have the locks to the house changed.

loud sigh

Spectre once bubbled...
What about "whatever". As in "Honey, should I do this, or that first?".

A whatever response never results in an 100% chance of getting "thanks". There is a slight chance that the action you chose was the correct choice, but most of the time "whatever" is followed by "thanks a lot" when you have completed the task you chose. At which point you do the other task and see if there actually was a right decision....

 

[Royal Frog]

Nice one DMistress! I use them most of the time to keep my boyfriend on his toes. I have a birthday in 10 days or so, and he's getting a bit jumpy! He might help me pay for my new tattoo! He he he - Frogs rule!!

 

[Spectre]

divemistress once bubbled...
"whatever" is a man's word!

Yea, whatever babe. Go get your own thread!

 

[Groundhog246]

:band: :band:

ROTFL

Now that I've gotten up from rolling on the floor laughing. These are way too true, stereotypes, but true.

And then there's the LOOK, when you bring home yet another piece of "essential" dive gear. That's become a lot less, since she certified, but now I better bring home TWO.

Thanks for sharing.
Kent