Why you should not drink before diving

[joel3739]

LIQUOR WARNING

Of course this does not apply to you and me, but you may want to pass this on to other people to warn them. Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:


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1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

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2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

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3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

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4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

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5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

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6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

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7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.

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10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

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12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, leaving you unable to account for large chunks of time.

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13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung ** powers, resulting in you getting your *** kicked.

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14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

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15. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

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16. WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode.

 

[Quarrior]

Ddni't see a sngile tnihg aubot dnivnig.

 

[Jim Ernst]

love the one on rug burns, i just so happen to ahh......... know a girl that had that experience,except they forgot to mention the rug burns on the face as well, ROFL

 

[Jim Ernst]

LIQUOR WARNING

Of course this does not apply to you and me, but you may want to pass this on to other people to warn them. Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, leaving you unable to account for large chunks of time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung ** powers, resulting in you getting your *** kicked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
15. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
16. WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode.

were in the world did you come up with this page????

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

:lol: Mea culpa...

 

[ckharlan66]

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8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are....smarter..... better looking than most people.

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I don't need alcohol for this I already know I am.

Chad

 

[Jim Ernst]

i think the booze before diving could add a real twist to narcosis ehh

 

[WingNutt]

Joel go to bed you have spent WAYYYY too much time surfing this site today. I am sure your work suffers. Is Marci home? I am sure she needs something right about now.

 

[WingNutt]

Actually Joel because of you and my brothers I think 1,2,4,5,8,9,11,12,14,15,16 and possibly some others might apply from my bachelor party!

Were you drinking when you made the title for this thread "be for" duh?

 

[Jason Ooi]

I don't drink before dive "Narcosis" after dive cheer......