Who here is a fellow musician?

[rat314]

Q: When is the best time to kill a Musician?

A: You leave the lid to the toilet up and wait until they go to get a drink of water.

Road Crew Motto;
If it's wet, you drink it. If it's dry you smoke it. If it moves you lay it, if it doesn't then load it in the truck.

 

[Doppler]

Well, I play at the guitar... no longer sport a mohawk though... not enough hair


How DO you tell if the stage is level?

Droll seeps from both sides of the drummer's mouth.

 

[Prages]

I'm a weekend warrior in a couple of different bands.

Guitar and vocals are my main thing, but I also swap off on bass duties in my gigging band. I do a lot of home recording where I play a little piano and drums too, but I'm by no means a pianist or drummer.

 

[dlndavid]

Well, I play at the guitar... no longer sport a mohawk though... not enough hair


How DO you tell if the stage is level?

Droll seeps from both sides of the drummer's mouth.

Hey Hey Hey, no drummer jokes! :spike:

 

[Hank49]

I played drums in the school band for 5 years. Now electric and acoustic guitars.... and played bass in a band back in the 70s. But I never learned to read music. How does one do that at age 50? AND I played with Eric Clapton once....just before I woke up......

 

[neil]

But I never learned to read music. How does one do that at age 50?

Get yourself a beginning guitar method book and work through it. That'll get you started reading music, and since you can already play it will go faster than a raw beginner. Age is not a factor, you'll sound just as lame as a 10 year old doing the same thing.

 

[ScottZeagle]

A kid tells his dad, "Pop, I wanna learn to play bass!"

The next day, the father takes his son to the local music store, buys him a starter bass and a small amp, and signs him up for lessons.

The next afternoon at 4:30pm, the son comes home from his first lesson and says, "Dad, today i learned how to play the top string!"

"That's great", says the father.

The following afternoon at 4:30pm, the son comes home and says, "Dad, today I learned to play the secong string!!"

"Excellent", replies the father.

The third day, the father notices that his son is home early, so asks him, "No lesson today, bud?"

"Nah", says the kid, "I got a gig at 9:30....


Come on bass players - you know it's funny!!!

 

[TheDavil]

OK, first a drummer joke:
Q: How do you get a drummer to get off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

And a bass player one:
While in the bush, the beating of the drums is non-stop. Naturally,
the tourist, unaccustomed to the custom, begins to find the unending
drumming hard to take and starts asking if the drumming ever stops.
Each time, the guide gets a worried look and says that the drumming
can never stop. This goes on for many days, each time the guide giving
the same reaction of worry and dispair. And each time the tourist sees
this, his level of concern rises. Nevertheless, he is unable to get
the guide to tell him what happens when the drumming stops and why he
is so worked up about that thought. Well, after a week or so of the
tourist annoying the guide about it, the tourist asks once more, "What
happens when the drumming stops?" Finally, the guide decides he'll
have no peace and replies, "Bass solo!"

 

[CBulla]

Thats IS funny Scott!

Q: What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.


Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

Q: What's the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?
A: Saliva.

Q: How do you get two bass players to play in unison?
A: Hand them charts a half-step apart.

Q: How do you get a guitarist to play softer?
A: Place a sheet of music in front of him.

Sorry... I've been collecting a while. As a cellist you hear a lot of great jokes over time..

 

[SDunbar]

I play piano, keyboard, organ, flute, percussion and vocals on occasion. My husband plays violin, trumpet or baritone, percussion, and does vocals. Then my son plays violin, trumpet/baritone, French horn, but prefers playing bass guitar, which he does most often. (Don't think I've forgotten any instruments.)

The family that plays together.....
(whether music or sports!)