Where is the line between minding my own business?

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jupitermermaid

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Scuba Instructor
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Location
Jupiter, Fl
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I went to Bonaire the last week in July and the beginning of Aug. with three new dive buddies I had not dove with before and one familiar one. One of the new females refused to dive close to us, preferring to "do her own thing." On the last day of diving, we were diving the Hilma Hooker. Deb dashed over to the other side of the reef while we were exploring the wreck. Soon she came zooming back and flew up to the mooring line (from 90' of depth). I watched her as she went up, concerned that she went up very rapidly. The rest of us started our slow ascent, and I kept my eye on Deb, who was hanging onto the mooring line at 17'. We all assumed she was 'striking a pose," as this was her typical behavior. When we got to the mooring line Deb swam over to me and showed me her computer, which was flashing 0:00. She held onto me, and we made a slow ascent to the top (I figured I came up from 90 feet slow enough that I could ask her what was wrong and go back to do my safety stop once I was sure she was okay). When we reached the surface she said she was so sleepy and passed out. I was able to get her to inflate her BCD, made sure her reg was in her mouth and towed her back to shore. Several minutes into the swim back one of our other buddies surfaced and asked if I'd like help. We both took an arm and got her to the shore, removed her gear in the water, and I brought her up to the truck while he schleped up her gear. The other two buddies surfaced and we quickly got her to the emergency room. We called Dan on the way (they were FANTASTIC!!!). The medics were waiting for us when we got to the hospital, and it was determined that she had an air embollism from possibly holding her breath while rapidly ascending, and had a very tiny hole in her lung; (secondary DCS?) She went for a 5 hour dive in the chamber, under protest, because she said if she had DCS she would be in pain (SHE was the pain...lol).

After it was all over, the doctor told her not to fly for 72 hours. We were scheduled to leave the day after, and she said she was not going to stay. On our flight back to PR, she started having symptoms again. One of our buddies called DAN again, and they said it probably wasn't related to her DCS, but to have it checked out. It turns out she had to undergo a second chamber treatment for 6 hours in PR. One buddy who was able to stay a few extra days stayed with her while the rest of us caught our connecting flights so she would take the extra time needed before flying again. The neurologist told her not to dive again for at least two months. That would bring her to the beginning of October at the soonest.

She is a member of another board and I just saw a post from her asking for dive buddies who are interested in going to the Caymans for a long weekend in Sept. I responded to the post only as, "Did you get the clearance from your neurologist already?" Afterwards, I felt "slightly" guilty, as I know I'm not the scuba police, but I was angry that she would be putting unknown divers in the way of a potential accident if she has a recurrent problem from returning to diving too soon.

My question is, should I have kept my mouth shut (or my fingers off the keyboard), or do I have a responsibility to subtlety alert others of a potential problem arising with diving with this person so soon? If she was asking for people to dive with in Oct. or Nov., I would say nothing because then I would assume she had waited the recommended time to be safe again. Sometimes I don't know when to mind my own business and when it's important to say something that might affect others.
 
You did the right thing. She sounds like a pill. Sure as hell she should continue to do "her own thing" and not create a hazard to others. Sounds like she will kill herself sooner or later, under water or topside. Sounds like an attitude issue to me.
 
I would look at it this way, if she found a buddy and went and put that buddies vacation (at the least possibly missing dives, spending time at the hospital, or missing a departure) or life at risk (if they put themselves at jeopardy to help her) how would you feel when all was said and done?

I know that I would rather warn someone than live with the guilt that "I should have said something".
 
You are under no obligation to protect the privacy of her medical information. "Have you been cleared by the neurologist?" could simply be a friendly inquiry.
 
My question is, should I have kept my mouth shut (or my fingers off the keyboard), or do I have a responsibility to subtlety alert others of a potential problem arising with diving with this person so soon? If she was asking for people to dive with in Oct. or Nov., I would say nothing because then I would assume she had waited the recommended time to be safe again. Sometimes I don't know when to mind my own business and when it's important to say something that might affect others.

You can get over "pissed off". You can't get over "dead".

I wouldn't feel guilty for a minute.

Terry
 
You are under no obligation to protect the privacy of her medical information. "Have you been cleared by the neurologist?" could simply be a friendly inquiry.

But "Have you been cleared by the neurologist; you crazy, freakin' dangerous, inconsiderate, nut bag" may have left a little less room for misunderstanding by her next unsuspecting victims.
 
I think you did the right thing. Doing this via PM might have been ok but if someone responded to her via PM then the buddy wouldn't have know it. Hopefully she will get her head out of her butt and do what the doc says.
 
You absolutely did the right thing in my opinion.
 
You absolutely did the right thing. She has alredy injured herself and it may be just a matter of time before she injures somebody else. The people on the other board deserve to know what situation they are getting themselves into.
 

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