what would you think?

[rhwestfall]

never mind - I'm out....

 

[drrich2]

I told him I want to buddy with someone more expirienced for my first few dives. His feathers got all ruffled. Would you be ok having you SO buddy with someone else?

I'm not clear on whether you meant 'I want for us to dive with a dive guide or group for awhile while we solidify what we've been taught till it's 2'nd nature,' or 'I want to dive with somebody besides you because you're not a good enough diver, I don't feel secure/safe with you in the water, and I'd like to go my own way learning scuba, and might even leave you behind.'

It's been said that when men & women were polled to prioritize what they valued, while most everyone values both love and respect, trends suggest many women value being loved/cherished, and many men value being respected, as the high priority. There are exceptions.

If, and this may not apply to you guys, IF your dynamic is one where being new to the sport he's excited and hopeful but insecure about diving, and anticipates you guys learning and growing doing this together, then if you say something he might perceive as 'I don't consider you a competent diver, trust you to be an adequate buddy doing your part to keep me/us safe, and I'm going to go pair up with a superior (at least in diving at this point) diver (it seems the hobby is a bit male dominated, so this might be ANOTHER MAN) to provide for my needs at this time since you can't, and while I'm off doing that I might get better at this than you and not need you anymore,' well, then, feathers could get ruffled indeed. How the idea is marketed to him is important.

What you want to do makes good logical sense. Whether it makes good relationship sense is less certain.

Funny; usually when scenarios involving conflict between logic & relationship perspectives come out in public discussions, it seems (at least to me) like the portrayal puts the woman with the more relationship-based perspective & the guy with the 'insensitive logical' perspective. In this case, things are flip-flopped. Not calling you insensitive!

I like the idea previously suggested of getting some more advanced training together, which might get the job done without upsetting anymore. I would suggest:

1.) Advanced Open Water.
2.) Deep Diver.
3.) Navigation.

Those 3 will give you more experience under professional supervision diving deep, a better working knowledge of the issues involved, more experience to know about how long a tank lasts you at a rough depth, and how to get around in the water & have some clue where you're at and where you're going. Learning how to use an SMB, and having one on you, might also improve your comfort level.

Rescue is a really good course to aim for down the road a bit.

Richard.

 

[DivemasterDennis]

When my wife got certified, I was a divemaster with several hundreds of dives, and years of experience. She always dives with me. I was the "senior buddy" for a long time, now we are equal. But on that first dive, she was MY buddy. If I had an issue , I had to rely on her. Every new diver is someone's buddy. If that diver can't be the "go to guy" in a pinch, then the other buddy is in trouble.. The significance of a buddy's competence is greater if the two are off diving on their own as opposed to diving in a group with a local DM or instructor, but I want my buddy to know how to help me in an emergency. Competently trained divers should qualify as a good buddy even on their first non-training dive. Quite frankly, brand new divers fresh from the class that stressed safety and safe diving practices, including staying close to your buddy, often make better buddies that more experienced but casual divers who, quite frankly, can get a little lazy in their habits. So, original poster, are you concerned you are not a competent dive buddy or your SO is not? Either way, that is not good. If your can't trust your training, get more. If the conditions are past your competence, dive in easier conditions. But remember, someone, your buddy, needs to know you can help the in a pinch.
DivemasterDennis