What to do with an inexperienced instabuddy?

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Same here. Usually I try to find another experienced diver and we plan a "same ocean buddies" dive if I'm not with someone I know and trust. Just being with a group does not mean I trust all of them to dive with me. Some I may just be taking advantage of a good deal and not only do I not want to dive with them, I may not want to hang out with them on the surface!

If an op wants or tells me to I have to babysit someone they are going to sign a release, pay me, pay for the trip, and if they do blow through their air I'll take em back to the boat and then finish my dive.

But the key to not having to deal with the situation is to actually use proper dive planning. Meaning that you get on the phone or computer, contact the op before you even get there, find out what their policy is, and then decide if you will even use them or not. Problem solved before you even leave home.

If you are actually good at planning a dive this issue should not even come up. Finding out if you may be paired up with someone is part of the plan you should take care of long before you go.
 
One thing I've mentioned about fairly similar topics is something I've learned more recently in my diving. After every dive during all of my cave training, we'd get to the surface and the first thing the instructor would do about the debrief is ask how WE thought we did. He wouldn't say anything, wouldn't interrupt, and wouldn't correct. If we asked him a specific question, he'd respond (I think I did this part right, but should I have...) but wouldn't say much else. AFTER we were done debriefing, he'd weigh in. I really like it, and I've made it standard practice on all of my dives now. When the dive is over and we've started our SI (ie, gear off) I ask my buddy what he/she thought of the dive. It doesn't matter if it's a boring, 30ft reef dive with my wife or a cave dive through 3 tight restrictions followed by a bit of deco. That way, you can start an open dialogue. Often, people don't appreciate a lecture....but people will listen after they've said their piece, even if only to defend themselves.

So, next time this happens (and it's likely to, depending on the situation)....start off the way I do every SI. "So, how do you think that dive went?" That way you can get your buddy's input as well. Maybe you misunderstood a hand signal. Maybe you two had different "upbringings" in dive etiquette. Maybe YOU were the bad dive buddy and didn't realize it. After your buddy's opinion, you give yours. If you could've done something better....start with that. I make my debreifs factual. Not, "you suck" but "we agreed to start our ascent at 100bar, which was breached"....it goes smoother that way.

If the buddy is very inexperienced, I typically try to inform the DM (if there's a DM/guide on the dive) and they normally "spontaneously" change some buddy teams around. If there's no guide, and you feel like you're in harm's way.....thumb it before donning your gear.
 
I had the impression that "never dive beyond your training" was an accepted rule of diving. I would have argued that this woman has no business going to the depths (let alone the conditions, but depth is really easy to quantify and therefore good for defining limits) described and it was completely unreasonable to ask me to go with her, take responsibility for such a buddy and consider her capable of being a buddy to me on that kind of dive.

I think you had the right to a qualified buddy, or the right to join a buddy pair as a #3. Next time insist on it: make them give you as fair a chance to enjoy your dive as anyone else on the boat.

I have nothing against newbies and I dive with new divers a fair bit, but I don't take them far beyond their training and comfort. No one should have asked you to do so either.
 
I had the impression that "never dive beyond your training" was an accepted rule of diving. I would have argued that this woman has no business going to the depths (let alone the conditions, but depth is really easy to quantify and therefore good for defining limits) described and it was completely unreasonable to ask me to go with her, take responsibility for such a buddy and consider her capable of being a buddy to me on that kind of dive.

New divers are so overloaded with tasks and sensory input that they're generally pretty much clueless about anything that doesn't seem to be immediately fatal.

People who get paired up with new divers should consider whether the dive is actually appropriate.
 
I once refused to be buddied with an instabuddy. The captain was shocked as I am normally pretty easy going.

He pointed out the instabuddy was a qualified DM. I pointed to another pair of divers and said "I am going to be a 3rd with them and they have agreed to it" Captain "They are ONLY AOW certified! not DM's"

I admit I had not dived with the DM but I saw enough of how they handled their gear to get a pretty good idea! We had all paid for the boat dives including the instabuddy DM who was not affiliated with the dive operator. I was not prepared to take on the level of diving we were about to do with someone I whose skill level I wasn't comfortable with. I turned out to have made the right decision but that is another story! Just suffice it to say C cards mean nothing... dive experience and competence setting up, and handling their gear give pretty good warnings of what is to come!
 
The easy answer (which might be a good one for you), is the SDI solo course. I took it, and it really let me do some of my favorite dives.
Good luck!

M

Amen! I now ask while booking charters if the solo card will be accepted if I'm properly equipped and don't have a buddy. If they don't I don't book the trip, period. I've wasted far too much travel and money on this type of thing.
That said I have made some great friends and new dive buds when I planned to go solo but then met someone on the trip that needed a buddy and looked like they had it together.

I'm not perfect either, but I'm alot more perfect without a bad dive buddy.
 
I'm not a babysitter. It's the reason I have a solo card. If the diver wants to work on skills I'm OK with that. If they are a blithering, random disastor - let someone else, that's getting paid for it, deal with it. Sorry, I'm just not that christian. I believe in personal responsibility.
 
New divers are so overloaded with tasks and sensory input that they're generally pretty much clueless about anything that doesn't seem to be immediately fatal.

People who get paired up with new divers should consider whether the dive is actually appropriate.

Agreed.....this is why I can't believe that someone with 12 dives brings a camera....doesn't matter if its a still, video, video mounted to your head.....they have no business carrying one. They need to get some dives under their belt to the point where depth monitoring, gas monitoring, and buoyancy is under control.....this is not at 12 dives. Cameras are distracting!
 
Agreed.....this is why I can't believe that someone with 12 dives brings a camera....doesn't matter if its a still, video, video mounted to your head.....they have no business carrying one. They need to get some dives under their belt to the point where depth monitoring, gas monitoring, and buoyancy is under control.....this is not at 12 dives. Cameras are distracting!
I kinda don't like blanket statements and DEFINETLY don't like specific dive numbers to be a gauge of anything but how much spare time you have on your hands.
Some people are very comfortable in water, having played around in it their whole life before taking up diving, which come natural to them and get dialed in quick - others are the opposite. There is no "you have 32.7 dives so you can use a camera" textbook answer, unfortunately.
 
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