:huh: Well, i received news this morning that a friend was visiting a friend of mine in Dominica and they went hiking to one of the water fall there....well, apparently they were in the pool at the fall when all of the sudden a flash flood came and swept them into some boulders where they were stuck...trying to free himself and this friend(girl) she went under and drowned in front of him while he was trying to free himself and her, at one point he started to take in water and he made peace with god at this time when all of the sudden another gush of water came by and freed him, he ended up all beaten up with a crushed ankle but he's alive. He is just so devasted and i can't believe something like this would happen and it wasn't even diving. Now he's flying home tomorrow with her body for the funeral. it's just so tragic for something like this to happen and get news. I'm so sad!
What do you do!
- Thread starter Scuba65
- Start date
Please register or login
Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.
Benefits of registering include
- Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
- A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
- You can make this box go away
H2Andy
Contributor
just terrible... i am so sorry for your friend and his girlfriend
what you do: listen to him and let him tell you as much or as little as he wants.
just let him know you're there for him.
encourage him to seek counseling, as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is
a real possibility here. the sooner he starts dealing with his feelings,
the better he will be in the long run.
don't say anything remotely critical. he's already feeling guilty and
crappy enough as it is. don't make it worse.
don't make him feel like he can't share his pain with you. isolation is
the worst thing for PTSD.
hope this helps
what you do: listen to him and let him tell you as much or as little as he wants.
just let him know you're there for him.
encourage him to seek counseling, as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is
a real possibility here. the sooner he starts dealing with his feelings,
the better he will be in the long run.
don't say anything remotely critical. he's already feeling guilty and
crappy enough as it is. don't make it worse.
don't make him feel like he can't share his pain with you. isolation is
the worst thing for PTSD.
hope this helps
RadRob
Contributor
This is very sad. My thoughts and prayers are with him and the young girl's family.
I agree with everything H2Andy said. I would like to add something.
I would add this, don't try to say anything that you feel is helping him. I know when I have lost a loved one or lost someone from the community from a fire, people try to say I know how you must feel. NO YOU DON'T. YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW I FEEL. YOU WEREN'T THERE. YOU DIDN'T SEE WHAT I SAW. Or they say "the good thing is that you're alive. Yeah, that makes me feel even guiltier. Why am I the one that made it? Sometimes when you are trying to help and have the best intentions, you do more damage. You must be very careful about what you say.
In my opinion, the best thing to say is, "Nothing I say will ease the pain. There is nothing I can do to make it right. All I can do is listen to whatever you have to say. And that's why I am here, to listen if you want to talk."
I would also highly suggest seeing a counselor. As a firefighter, I have seen my fair share of them and they help a lot.
I agree with everything H2Andy said. I would like to add something.
H2Andy:
I would add this, don't try to say anything that you feel is helping him. I know when I have lost a loved one or lost someone from the community from a fire, people try to say I know how you must feel. NO YOU DON'T. YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW I FEEL. YOU WEREN'T THERE. YOU DIDN'T SEE WHAT I SAW. Or they say "the good thing is that you're alive. Yeah, that makes me feel even guiltier. Why am I the one that made it? Sometimes when you are trying to help and have the best intentions, you do more damage. You must be very careful about what you say.
In my opinion, the best thing to say is, "Nothing I say will ease the pain. There is nothing I can do to make it right. All I can do is listen to whatever you have to say. And that's why I am here, to listen if you want to talk."
I would also highly suggest seeing a counselor. As a firefighter, I have seen my fair share of them and they help a lot.
thanks so much guy's for that. it is hard and you never know what to say. and i don't like to say that.."oh, i know what you're going through" cause it's true you don't know what the other person is going through....you weren't there. it's just so devastating to get some news like that. she had just arrived there and it happened on the 2nd. day she was there.
Fish_Whisperer
Contributor
- Messages
- 6,317
- Reaction score
- 23
- # of dives
- 50 - 99
You've gotten some great advice here. My condolences. More than anything, he needs a friend, and someone who won't get squirmy and try to make him "get over it." He needs you to listen and be available. Good luck. I'm so sorry...
Similar threads
