We all started out as O/W students

[MClark12]

So why the need to have such cocky attitudes?



Okay, I am a somewhat new diver, but have been working in a dive shop for 2+ years. Why is it that when someone comes into the store or comes on to a dive boat they automatically assume that I don't know anything and often times become demeaning? Do other divers experience this behavior or is it because I'm a female? Being young does not equate clueless.

 

[The Chairman]

You do have that look of innocence about you! Those who know you realize how deceptive that is!

People have a hard time between assessing quiet confidence (Mercy) and mere timidity. This is doubly true for those who rely on their braggadocio rather than their skill. These are the guys who love to correct others and show them the "real" way they should be doing things.

Ironically, they are the ones we normally have to pull from the drink when their pride exceeds their skill set. So, don't worry about them one whit (until they splash). Remember that those arrogant divers who act like they know it all, really piss off those of us who do!

 

[Jim Lapenta]

Whether male or female how you present yourself is usually a good barometer of how you will be treated. If you come across as professional and no nonsense (and yes you can still be friendly) it is more likely you will be taken seriously. Again male or female if even other word is like or dude or really or other nonsense I will rightly or wrongly assume a ditz, stoner, or space taker. If I ask a question about a reg and you give me informed answers you will be taken seriously. How you dress will affect your image also. You don't need to be a frump but a miniskirt, tank top, or halter top will have me looking but not hearing anything. Jeans or slacks, nice shirt or polo. Or even a tasteful sundress ( unless you're a guy) will tend to make me take you seriously. A french bikini on the boat may look nice but a simple, practical one piece will look more like a professional than like a "pro" that has nothing to do with diving. Chauvinist, perhaps but also one who sees people all the time come for interviews looking like bums, sluts, or gang bangers and wonder why they do not get hired.

 

[RJP]

Why is it that when someone comes into the store or comes on to a dive boat they automatically assume that I don't know anything...

After 40+ years on this planet I assume anyone and everyone I meet "doesn't know anything" until they've done something to prove otherwise.

Perhaps the approach is to ensure that you do something to convey "otherwise" pretty quickly in any interaction, and by contrast don't do anything that innadvertently signals that the suspicion that you don't know anything might just be correct.

 

[MClark12]

Thanks for your reply Jim, you seem to be the epitome of what my post is about :bs:

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Why worry about it? What others think of you really isn't your problem. Just be yourself. Anyone who's going to demean you on an assumption about your age or experience isn't someone you want to spend much energy on anyway ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[The Chairman]

This is almost comical, as none of you know Mercy as I do.

She's the girl who gets all of her stuff on the boat without ever asking for help. Her gear is set up before the lines are cast off. She' quite pretty, but dresses modestly enough. Yet I have seen guys try to give her all kinds of "tips" to help this poor wittle waif. For the most part, she just rolls her eyes and keeps doing what she knows to do. I would dive with Mercy anywhere that she feels comfortable diving. And you can be sure that I won't be telling her how to dive UNLESS she asks me a question.

Fortunately, scuba diving is not nearly the macho sport as it was in the 70s (or earlier). Unfortunately, far too many people are still way too quick to apply bigoted stereotypes and judge a book by it's cover. You'll miss having a number of good buddies this way and that is your loss.

I do remember a long time ago, a guy on a boat being very fatherly with his young, cute insta-buddy. She took about 20 seconds of his condescending attitude and said: "Let's just shut up and dive!"

 

[Jim Lapenta]

Thanks for your reply Jim, you seem to be the epitome of what my post is about :bs:

Because I am honest? And expect when I walk into a business to be treated in a business like manner? Many guys will act like they are taking a female in a mini seriously but that is usually all it is- an act. I'm just honest about how I see people and right or wrong that attitude has been formed by many years in retail service. As a butcher I wore a tie everyday. That and a shirt with a collar gave customers the impression that they could trust me and that I knew what I was talking about. No matter what the politically correct thing to say might be when you are dealing with the public, presentation of product and yourself is everything. My grandfather who ran a very successful business for over 40 years taught me that. It's why I would never hire anyone who did not respect theirself enough to appear looking like a professional for an interview no matter what the job. Scuba at the pool or on the boat is a little different but in a shop look like a professional or expect to not be treated like one.

After reading Pete's post I have to say that I never met the young lady in question. But if she carries herself the way Pete implies she would have my respect. My posts weree in general as the question was quite broad and again I have been dealing with the public since the age of 8 when working in my grandfathers store. Back in the old days.

 

[ShakaZulu]

You should go checkout the DIR section... I see the same thing in aviation...On the internet a lot of people hide behind the anonymity of their username and feel they can be the a-holes they really are...

 

[ScubaSam]

To the OP,

Young does not equate clueless so do not let their attitude affect you and your diving. The ones with the cocky attitudes are really more a reflection of them rather than of you.

My personal experience during my first year of diving when I was a vacation diver and had insta-buddies cause it was my pre-SB life was not as negative as yours. I find that the men will either...

1). try to impress me with their dive knowledge so I smile and politely distance myself from them.
2). try to hit on me so I smile and politely distance myself from them.
3). try to help me haul gear which I am grateful but would rather handle my own gear and politely tell them so.
4). quietly observe off to the side and leaves me alone but gives me a sympathetic look because he knows #1 & #2 are reflecting poorly on his sex.

I don't let any of them affect my mood on the boat, I'm there to dive. You can't change them, all you have any control over is you and how you think of the situation.

Stay positive and dive, dive, dive.