Texans in the Afterlife

[Squashie]

Gabriel came to the Lord one day and said, "Sir, I have to talk to you."

The Lord responded, "Yes, Gabrial; how may I help you?"

Gabrial responded, "We have some Texans up here who are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, their
dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to heaven clean. There is horse manure, feathers and wing bones all over the place. Some of them are even walking around with just one wing. I don't even want to consider how this happend!"

The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."

So Gabriel went to the phone and placed the call...The
Devil answered the phone, "Hello?...Damn, hold on a minute."

The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"

Gabriel replied, "This is Gabriel upstairs, and I just wanted to know how things are going down there?"

The Devil said, "Well, let me tell you....Oh s*#t, Can you hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back. Now what was the question?"

Gabriel said, "I wanted to know how things are going, and if you were having any problems?"

The Devil said, "Man!, I don't believe this . . . Hold on!!." This time the Devil was gone at least 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said , "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now... Those damn Texans have put out the fire and are trying to install a beer fridge and central air conditioning."

 

[Natasha]

LOL OK I think it's funny. But, if any other Texans want me to remove it ..I'll have to.
Although I doubt they will. They're probably too busy..well you know..

 

[sb_diver]

Thats pretty funny..

 

[sharkdiver00]

OMG this is funny, hopefully it will not offend any true Texans around here. But I can see it happening.... "putting out the fires LOL and BBQ sauce on their robes"

We all need to laugh on a Friday afternoon!
tks,
maria

 

[Firefyter]

Speaking as a True Texan, I think it's pretty funny. Heck, I watch King of The Hill on TV, and just about roll in the floor because I recognize those guys. Too bad everybody can't find the ability to laugh at themselves as easily as we do, then we could do away with all the PC junk

 

[sharkdiver00]

Amen and big thanks. My feelings exactly... if we cannot laugh at ourselves, oh well we are missing a lot in this life
maria

 

[rricks90254]

LOL OK I think it's funny. But, if any other Texans want me to remove it ..I'll have to.
Although I doubt they will. They're probably too busy..well you know..

Heaven won't take us and Hell is afraid we'll take over.

Another Texan chiming in saying no problem we love to laugh at our selves. Besides it's the True Texans, Aggies and Longhorns who tell the best jokes . Anybody know of "Rock the good Ag"?

 

[ScubaHawk]

I'm a Texan currently surrounded by Yankees, bad bar-b-q and Quarry dives. I need good Texan jokes to keep me going. Let me see if I can keep the theme going. . .

A Texan met his end and went to Heaven. St Peter was giving him the guided tour. St Peter pointed to the vast green planes and asked. "Have you ever seen such lush, perfect land?"
The Texan replied, "It's nice but we got better fields than that in East Texas."
St Peter rolled his eyes and took him to the Sea. "Have you ever seen such perfect waters? Blue, Cler and calm."
The Texan replied, "Real purty, almost as nice as Corpus Christi and Padre Island."
Shanking his head, St Peter led him home. "This is your mansion, part of your Heavenly reward."
The Texan looked around. "It wonderful, almost as nice as some I've seen outside of Dallas."
Exasperated St Peter grabbed the Texan and drug him to the edge of Heaven, Pointing out at the infinate, firery, pitch filled, burning plains of Hell, St Peter asked the Texan; "YOU DON"T HAVE THAT IN TEXAS, DO YOU?"
The Texan shook his head for a moment and said "Nope, sure ain't got nothing like that in Texas . . . but we do got an oil guy in Houston that can put that out for you."

 

[UndrWatrDan]

I think I know those guys that put out the fire and are trying to install Central AC!!!!

 

[Squashie]

LOL OK I think it's funny. But, if any other Texans want me to remove it ..I'll have to.
Although I doubt they will. They're probably too busy..well you know..

By the way, I am a native Texan...born and raised in beautiful Foat Wurth (the prettier town on the west side of Dallas, for those of you not familiar with the landscape... ) Thanks to all the other Texans for the support and understanding...we need to laugh at ourselves occasionally, just to keep us from getting the big head.