Tell us your most embarassing bloopers?

[Swamp Rat]

Wasnt mine but another guy. During ow check out. Everyone had their gear on for check out and being sure to do everything right. The dive master looks down at a couple of guys and said "those calf pads on your wet suits works much better as knee pads".

 

[tgreaves]

ok ok.. heres a good one.. In the water, ready to go with fins on and everything.. Except for my regulator.. And no, Im not a padi diver (people have asked me before when I tell them the story)

 

[scubadweeb]

Though I'm not a professional diver, during a trip aboard LCDII many (I fear) suspected I was the professional entertainment...

While surfacing from a wonderful dive I noticed there were some pretty hefty swells above. Having never before experienced such rough seas, my entrance onto the boat was quite eventful. Instead of hanging onto the rope tied onto the ladders & waiting for a calm moment to go up, I grabbed onto the ladder (for dear life) and was rocked & beaten for a good minute! It wasn't funny then however, it is now. I learned a lot from that day and worse yet - my husband caught the whole event on tape. The crew wanted a copy to demonstrate to other new divers how NOT to come aboard!

If that weren't enough, the last day of the trip the seas were so rough, we had to head back early. We couldn't dock the boat (because of rough seas) so we were going to go to shore via a dinghy. With complete grace & style that only a clutz like me can muster I placed one foot into the dinghy while leaving my other foot firmly on the big boat! Needless to say, the boats began to separate and within a few seconds my bottom was "dern" near touching the ocean & I accomplished something I hadn't been able to do since I was 10...the splits! All turned out well in the end - only my pride was hurt...

 

[OceanSpirit]

Back in the dim and distant past when I was still dry behind the ears, I went diving in Tenerife. There were 8 guys on the boat on this day and I had the distinct impression I was the least experienced. All had top line kit and the air of quiet professionalism. I, on the other hand, started off by connecting up my reg 1st stage round the wrong way and only discovered my mistake when I found that my 2nd stage and octopus were on the left. With that sorted out, I flopped into the water and lost my cylinder and weightbelt. Luckily, the belt narrowly missed the guide and the tank was hanging off the BCD strap. The other guys tried to help but were hampered by the fact that they couldn't stop laughing. I am wiser now.............honest!

 

[DrAtomic]

Gotta share this one... on my own account...

About my 20th dive or so and into my AOW course the instructor allowed me to plan and guide the group (with him behind the group) on a reef we dived about 4~5 times earlier. I was really excited, did my pre-checks and buddy checks, everything fine... Since I was leading the group I had to go in first. I jumped in, signalled ok, took my regulator out, and all of the group jumped in. I signalled to start diving, everybody ok-ed, and there I went...
I cleared my ears (tough ear drums, need to clear often) and took my first breath of air at about 2 meters down and took in a lot of water... In all the excitement I'd forgotten to place my regulator back into my mouth and still had my snorkel in my mouth...

I popped out of the water again, placed my regulator back in and when I came underwater and joined the group there where a lot of flooding masks around me... Boy did I feel embarased...

Right up untill this day my girlfriend asks me kindly before every dive with a veeeeeery big smile 'Don't you forget to put your regulator in?'

DrAtomic

 

[Cactusdiver1]

My most embarrassing moment was just after being certified in 1980. Being a young single guy and the same with my dive partner Bert, we went to a Friday night showing of the movie The Deep. Knowing that the movie kinda freaked me out, being a new diver and all, Bert and I decided that a spur of the moment road trip to California for a day of diving was just the thing to prove our male macho level.

We jumped into his MGB convertible and cruised to San Diego.
( save your trip to profiles..I live in Arizona) Anyway..I wear glasses. Back then I didn't wear contacts and was too new to know anything about prescription mask lenses ( like I could have afforded them anyway)... so diving was a up close sport for me, with anything in the distance being a blur.

Stay with me..I'm getting there.... anyway we leave the beach and swim into the bay...Bert and I are pointing out different things to each other. All of a sudden Bert points to something ahead of me. I saw a fish and gave him the typical "ok" cool sign.

Bert shakes his head and "firmly" points again. I look harder and see some type of underwater plant and again give him the typical "ok" cool sign.

Again, Bert shakes his head 'NO" and very firmly points ahead of me. I squint and look..and slowly start to see what turns out to be a large fishing net stretched across an area in front of me...I start to give Bert the ol' "OK..I see it when he is still pointing at the net.... as I swim closer I see a large item...fish type item...looks kinda black, 5ish feet long....big fins on back....BIG FINS ON BACK!

All the thoughts of The DEEP came flooding back (sorry about the pun) and the first thought was SHARK :sharky:

The second thought was if there is one...there is more.

I hit the surface and swam back to shore , as Bert describes it, "leaving a wake that you could water ski on". Hitting the shore wasn't good enough.. I continued to crawl about as far up the beach as possible.

Being the good dive buddy that I was , I then looked back to see where Bert was. Bert was on the surface laughing so hard he was swallowing water. You see, Bert has good eyesight under water. He saw several things I couldn't...one was it was a dolphin, not a shark. Two, was that it was very much dead, and the movement was simply the current moving it in the net.

He also got a great view of my face and my immediate exit of the immediate area....all the way to shore.

Bert wasn't the only ones entertained, as the beach was pretty crowded that Saturday.

 

[Cactusdiver1]

One more....

One very funny time for me didn’t even include water, but desert mountain countryside. Living in Arizona, carrying a gun in your vehicle was/is a normal way of life. :makeday:

Back in the very early 1980’s, I ran across a guy who was in the Coast Guard and had acquired some scuba gear as payment for a debt. He didn’t dive, and didn’t want/need the gear.

Trying to figure out what I could do to get the gear, I mentioned trading for something. After discussing what few items I had, we settled on a 6-shot revolver that I carried in my car. In Arizona we have to protect ourselves from snakes, mountain lions, wild dogs, drunk cowboys etc.

Anyway, this particular weekend, my dive partner Bert and I were on a camping trip to the mountains with our “fiancés”. :1st: After some great grilled steaks, and a couple (who counts) of beers, we all crashed for the night inside the one big tent that we had brought.

At about 2AM, all hell broke loose as some drunk cowboys in a 4-wheel drive truck of some type decided to turn the camping area into the Baja 1000 off-road race. Whoopin & hollerin’, racing the engine while spinning donuts in the dirt, the noise was scary enough being in the tent. All of a sudden they let loose with what ever fire power they happened to have firing shots into the air from several weapons.
:mgun:

Protecting our ladies in distress, waiting for either a 4X4 to come over the tent or bullets ripping through the canvas, I started thinking about how vulnerable I felt “unarmed”. Right about that time, from Bert’s side of the tent I heard "a hell of a lot of good your scuba equipment is going to do us now” .
:whack:

 

[PhotoTJ]

Back in 99 I had a nice little Bayliner 35 in Marina del Rey, and I 'used it to my advantage', shall we say, with a few ladies in a local bar. (Stand up to leave, mention loudly, "I'm gonna go crash on my yacht" Oh yeah, not enough o's in Smo-o-o-o-oth!)

I execute this ploy to perfection one evening, and the young lady in question would just love to cruise around the marina a few times. OK. (Cue ominous music) I turn on the blowers, crank the engines, and away we go. (At this point I should mention, I had only owned the boat for a month.)

As we are motoring out, the starboard engine dies, the handling gets a little squirrlly, the port engine dies, and we are drifting towards a buoy. I go to the bow and push off, promptly fall overboard, and the breeze blows my boat and company away from me. I hear her say, "Are you ok? What fell in?"

I catch the boat, drag myself aboard, saying, "Me! Are you impressed yet?" She found this funny, or so I judged by her collapsing on the deck, laughing till her face hurt.

Fortunatly, I had towels, and a couple changes of clothes on board.

First thing the next morning I had the boat tuned up.

Not enough o's in Smo-o-o-o-ooth!

 

[VaScubaGirl]

Ok so a bunch of us were reef diving and one girl spies an arrow crab and plucks it up and puts it on her palm to looka t it better. The poor thing is visibly shaking and all of a sudden...WOOSH out of nowhere this fish snatches the crab out of her hand...it's little legs just wigglin' out of it's mouth. She had this "oh my gosh I murdered a crab" look on her face and we laughed so hard that there was more than one regulator that went flying!

 

[bermudaskink]

Fall off boat to do a deep dive in Dominican Republic. Going in a team of three. My two buddies were quite rude and did not wait for me and began their descent in the murky water before I had even hit the surface. All of a fluster I checked my gear and began my descent. Upon arrival at the bottom my masked had fogged up badly and I realised I had forgotton to spit it in and rinse it. I had to keep flooding and clearing to keep it from fogging up. Eventually I got so sick of flooding and clearing every 10 seconds and I wondered how I could get my spit onto my mask while underwater.

:doh:


I had a wonderful idea! I took my mask right off, pulled the skirting back and licked the inside all over. Then replaced it. Alas it did not work and I later realised that I was narced - what a stupid idea!!!!!. :bonk:

You should have seen the look on my buddies faces! After the dive they asked me "where did you learn that method of mask defogging?". I told them I was just trying it out and that it worked really well and they said one day they would have to try it themselves! Ha ha - that'll teach them not to leave their buddies at the surface!!