Buoyant1
Contributor
Especially if you tried the item in question on at the LDS then bought it cheaper online and bragged about it!
Survival Kit for Basic Divers on SB
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Especially if you tried the item in question on at the LDS then bought it cheaper online and bragged about it!
If he starts doing that... he better give me enough advance warning to increase his insurance
Most insurances won't cover acts of war! Acts of blatant stupidity often are though. Not sure which clause that would fall under!
Darcey
Contributor
Especially if you tried the item in question on at the LDS then bought it cheaper online and bragged about it!
I work in a non dive related retail environment where we see variations of this all the time. Urge to kill as painfully as possible is often VERY hard to control!
You really have to wonder what some people are thinking with, cause it sure aint their brains!
ocbeachbum
Contributor
If we're still adding to this how about "You Will Die if you let the incompetent/surly/foul smelling/kleptomaniac crew of the S.S. Cattlewagon at Exotic Location X put your gear together for you."
No one must touch anything ever, because even though they are overly-tip-seeking/unsafe/incompetent, all [insert location 50+ miles from poster] DMs think they must help the vacation divers who are believed to be incapable of knowing how to assemble the stuff they brought with them.
Then again that one might be true.....
No one must touch anything ever, because even though they are overly-tip-seeking/unsafe/incompetent, all [insert location 50+ miles from poster] DMs think they must help the vacation divers who are believed to be incapable of knowing how to assemble the stuff they brought with them.
Then again that one might be true.....
I realize this thread is meant primarily in jest and I've enjoyed it along with everyone else.
However, it did remind me of my first wreck dive a number of years ago.
With a hard current I was blown across the deck and away from the wreck.
Thank god I was young and strong back then (well, a lot younger and a bit stronger) and the current moderated enough that I could struggle back to the wreck and up the line.
Back on the dive boat, being the ernest newbie that I was, I asked the other divers what I should have done.
They looked at me like the fool I was and said, "IT'S A F&%KING WRECK, WHY DIDN'T YOU HOLD ON TO SOMETHING RATHER THEN BE SWEPT AWAY???"
As I look back, the reason I didn't hold on to anything was that it was drilled into me that if any part of my body came into any contact with anything underwater then I would personally be responsible for punching a hole the ozone layer, damaging the ecosystem, destroying the world's oceans, and threatening life as we know it.
That's why I always wince when I read much of the dive foolishness that people have been making fun of in this thread.
Mask on your forehead? You're threatening the entire sport and are a dangerous, thoughtless diver.
And my favorite.
Bring a banana on board a dive boat and the entire fleet is jinxed, you'll all be eaten by sharks, and your relatives will die a horrible death.
However, it did remind me of my first wreck dive a number of years ago.
With a hard current I was blown across the deck and away from the wreck.
Thank god I was young and strong back then (well, a lot younger and a bit stronger) and the current moderated enough that I could struggle back to the wreck and up the line.
Back on the dive boat, being the ernest newbie that I was, I asked the other divers what I should have done.
They looked at me like the fool I was and said, "IT'S A F&%KING WRECK, WHY DIDN'T YOU HOLD ON TO SOMETHING RATHER THEN BE SWEPT AWAY???"
As I look back, the reason I didn't hold on to anything was that it was drilled into me that if any part of my body came into any contact with anything underwater then I would personally be responsible for punching a hole the ozone layer, damaging the ecosystem, destroying the world's oceans, and threatening life as we know it.
That's why I always wince when I read much of the dive foolishness that people have been making fun of in this thread.
Mask on your forehead? You're threatening the entire sport and are a dangerous, thoughtless diver.
And my favorite.
Bring a banana on board a dive boat and the entire fleet is jinxed, you'll all be eaten by sharks, and your relatives will die a horrible death.
burna
Contributor
Yes but if you are a REAL DIVER you could use that air to extend your *cought* bottom *cough* timeOriginally Posted by burna
Using your drysuit for buoyancy may cause the internal pressure to become too high forcing air up the date resulting in bad breath!
You mean like a rebreather??
OP
BHB ScubaTroll
Contributor
Oh, T... you've got some good ones here!No matter what kind of problem you are having with your buoyancy, trim, finning, situational awareness, or unwanted hair growth, it is due to being overweighted.
No matter what kind of problem you are having with your buoyancy, trim, finning, situational awareness, or unwanted hair growth, it will be fixed if you take GUE Fundamentals.
No matter what kind of problem you are having . . . it is due to the dilution of standards, shoddy instruction and inadequate curriculum of whatever agency you took your class with. Except for GUE, which avoids the problem by not teaching open water. Very often, anyway.
If you buy all your gear and come on ScubaBoard to find out what we think of it, we won't think much.
If you buy all your gear at the shop where you got certified, we will be very pleased to tell you how much more you spent for it than you needed to spend.
If you post a question along the lines of, "Am I ready to do X?", the answer you'll get is no.
You know, if we keep on doing this, it's going to make it unnecessary for anybody to read beyond this thread . . .
I'll be back soon to create the latest and greatest "Survival Kit for Basic Divers on SB" list
I was just taking a break from the hustle and bustle of "flame wars" on the board (They can take a lot out of ya!... Just don't mention the 'MOF 10' around the wrong people....
)... Or was it the fact that I have almost 100 dives this year already... Come on, slackers! Get out there and DIVE!
jenaddyman23
Contributor
haha this is funny!! i should have been dead a long time ago!
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