Replying to my own post....So it is figurative language that is not to be taken literally.
My response is, "So what's new?"
The History of NAUI, written by NAUI founders, said they knew this was happening from their very start in the 1960s--they knew some people were certified without even attending a class. I realize that this violates to commonly stated belief that scuba instruction was simply marvelous, with every graduate a veritable scuba God, until a few years ago, which translates to, "It was all perfect all around the world until the day after I was certified, then it all went bad at once."
As long as there has been paid employment, there has a been a fraction of the employed population that tries to earn their pay without doing the work. As something of an education enthusiast, I have studied its history, and you can see people complaining about it all the time. In the 1700's, Scotland had one of the world's finest educational systems. (Google "Scottish Enlightenment.") It had 5 fine universities, while England had 2. Many and perhaps most of the great philosophers we think of as English in that time period were actually Scottish. One of those famous philosophers (can't remember which right now) started his education in Oxford in England, but he switched to a Scottish university because, as he explained it, the Oxford professors didn't actually do any teaching. They just handed out degrees.
As a teacher, I was required to take courses throughout my career to maintain certification. Those were often taken in summer school. One year I was taking a short class at a college that specialized in teacher preparation (University of Northern Colorado), and on the first day the class had perhaps 50 people in it. The professor took the role, which took forever. The person sitting next to me answered for at least 5 people, and when he saw my wonder, he told me that he would explain when the professor was done. At the end of taking attendance, the professor announced that the only criterion for passing that pass/fail class was attendance, and he would not be taking attendance again. The guy next to me explained that he and his friends took all their classes from that professor, and they drew straws before each class to see who had to attend that first day to answer "here" when the names were called. The class consisted of visits to local sites at which he, in theory, would teach about them. He was clearly pissed by the handful of people who showed up after the first few days, forcing him to stay there, although he did no actual teaching while there.
So, yes, a percentage of scuba instructors phone it in. What a surprise.