Southwest Airlines New Travel Policy

[Kat]

Travel Alert:
Souhwest Airlines Announces "Two Seat Purchase Requirements For Wide-bodied Passengers"

You may have heard about Southwests new policy to enforce the fat-people-buy-two-seats rule. This is to be forwarded to svelt-bodied friends & family only. In case you care to drop 'hints' to those people whom you know may be 'at risk' of violating their new 'fat a$$ pays twice' rule.
However, here are a few questions which SW may expect from said passengers.

1. Will my a$$ require seperate photo ID ( perhaps an A$$port) to board the plane?

2. Will there be a box at the check in counter that I have to shove my a$$ into? (Like the carry-on luggage box) To see if I have to buy a second seat.

3. Can my a$$ take advantage of "companion fares" to travel with me? (After all, we are inseparable)

4. If someone whose a$$ also requires a second seat is traveling on the same plane, can we split the cost of the second seat & just both spill into the middle?

5. Do I get double frequent flyer credit for my a$$? Or does my a$$ require a seperate frequent flyer number?

...and finally, the question SW is sure to assume a "two-seater " might ask:

6. Will I get two snacks and/or meals when I have to buy a second seat for my a$$?

 

[Juls64]

why don't people with tiny a$$e$ have to share a seat to make more room for the big a$$ people?



(Sorry, I know that is really lame.)

Thats a good one Kat.

 

[scuberd]

when I was little I got to fly seatbelted to my little sister. Trust me, even if you could fit, you don't want to have to go through that!

 

[Diversauras]

Juls64 once bubbled...
why don't people with tiny a$$e$ have to share a seat to make more room for the big a$$ people?

We do now don't we? I often am next to a fat a$$ and can't move in my seat because he/she has overflowed the arm rest into my space.

 

[clive francis]

all joking aside, why shouldnt they pay for two seats, if they are that big?

I have been on quite a few flights and some i have been squashed against the window because of some fat ass

and they get reall funny if you ask them can you have you seat back!

they are lucky they dont charge them by weight!

 

[divemistress]

why don't airlines measure shoulder width and charge ticket prices accordingly?

on a recent six-hour flight, i sat next to a woman with linebacker shoulder. admittedly, i probably have running back shoulders. there was simply not enough air space for the two of us.

after a flight attendant rejected my tearful request for the only open seat on the plane -- in first class -- we resolved our problem in a painful way:

i spent half the flight contorting my body to the right, so that my a$$ was safely seatbelted, but my torso hung out into the aisle. (blocking the drinks cart -- gasp!)

she spent half the flight leaning forward in her seat, forehead resting on the seatback in front of her. (in one of the airline's recommended "safety positions")

american will soon be hearing from both our chiropracters! :doctor:

 

[Kat]

What about the guy who thinks he needs to sit w/ his legs spread apart. Were talking about 2 feet of empty space from knee to knee, so his "boys" can breath. Meanwhile, you have no leg room. Never, ever take the middle seat, between 2 men.:upset:

 

[clive francis]

the boys all ways need air

but some guys do take the urine

its the same when you go to toilet some guys spread their legs so far apart they are practically doing the splits and stop you getting to the urinal.

i stand on their foot and say oops sorry

another alternative is to stand back a little and they soon move when they think they are going to get wet

 

[Rev. Blade]

scuberd once bubbled...
when I was little I got to fly seatbelted to my little sister. Trust me, even if you could fit, you don't want to have to go through that!

Why don't I want to be seatbelted to your sister?

 

[scuberd]

Rev. Blade once bubbled...

Why don't I want to be seatbelted to your sister?

because she will kick your a$$ without even realising that she is doing it.