Something's itchy...

Please register or login

Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.

Benefits of registering include

  • Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
  • A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
  • You can make this box go away

Joining is quick and easy. Log in or Register now!

Bryan

ScubaBoard Supporter
ScubaBoard Supporter
Messages
6,253
Reaction score
18
Location
DFW, Texas, USA
# of dives
500 - 999
My Mom forwarded this to me... I had to share...

_______________​

I LOVE MY JOB...

This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time
you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She
then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana
that was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless
to say, she won.

"Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my
dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after
all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my
office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is
quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece
of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it
to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air
hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan and I've used
it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to
burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage
was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my
back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the
crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to
make three, agonizing, in-water decompression stops totaling
thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
because my butt was swollen shut."

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about
how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up
your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I
love my job."

Now, whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a
jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
 
saw this one about 6 months ago, or so.....what a hoot!
 
Back
Top Bottom