As a plus size woman, I have been through the challenging BC search. I can offer a few tidbits....
First, in my opinion fit is the most important issue -- a specific size label or gender designation does not insure it will fit you... it is such an individual thing.
Second, be sure to consider the possibility of using a cummberbun extender. They are available for about $15 or you can make your own. Often, I have found that by going to a larger bc that will fit around the middle, the shoulders then become way too big -- staying smaller and extending the cummberbun can sometimes resolve this.
Third, I really liked the Diva LX, but alas it was not available to fit me. Though everyone I know who owns one loves it.
Fourth, I had one retailer tell me that "they" won't make women's gear in a size "XL" because "women" won't buy something that says "XL" -- I don't agree... but that seems to be an attitude floating around "out there".
Fifth, I have had a number of people recommend a backplate and wing -- I've never tried it, but, again, people who use them seem to love them.
Finally, I recently bought a new bc and I chose a Seaquest Raider. It is a model that bridges the transition between recreational and technical diver, so it has a lot of features. I bought it because of the fit -- it is very adjustable, and very comfortable. It also allows you to move the pockets forward so they are much easier to use. It is weight integrated, although I still prefer to use a weight belt.
Liz