JRO
Contributor
Which explains the Cuban swimming team...
Silly Jokes
- Thread starter Scuba_Jenny
- Start date
Please register or login
Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.
Benefits of registering include
- Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
- A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
- You can make this box go away
Nay
Contributor
I love you all for these.
What do you call something round that bites?
A vicious circle. :11ztongue
What do you call something round that bites?
A vicious circle. :11ztongue
H2Andy
Contributor
JRO:
well, that's not so much a race joke as a political joke... but
anyways... it's gone now
what happens if my wife Lorraine leaves me and this
girl named Clarie likes me?
:dazzler1: i can see Clarie now, Lorraine is gone :dazzler1:
Whats the definition of perfect pitch? Being able to toss a set of bag pipes into the dumpster without hitting the rim 
Whats the difference between a trampoline and a violin? You take your shoes off before jumping up and down on a trampoline!
How do you know when you have a trombone player at your door? He's wearing a dominos pizza hat!
How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
The knock always slows down.
How do you know when its a level stage? The guitarist is drooling out of both sides of his mouth
How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A fiddle is fun to listen to.
What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.
How long does a harp stay in tune?
About 20 minutes, or until someone opens a door.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?
Because it makes a much bigger kaboom when dropped over a cliff.
Why was the piano invented?
So the musician would have a place to put his beer.
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
Gifted.
Why is the French horn a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.
What's the range of a tuba?
Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise?"
How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.
I'll stop here... for now... after nearly 20 years of playing I had to get a few bad jokes off my chest!
Whats the difference between a trampoline and a violin? You take your shoes off before jumping up and down on a trampoline!
How do you know when you have a trombone player at your door? He's wearing a dominos pizza hat!
How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
The knock always slows down.
How do you know when its a level stage? The guitarist is drooling out of both sides of his mouth
How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A fiddle is fun to listen to.
What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.
How long does a harp stay in tune?
About 20 minutes, or until someone opens a door.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?
Because it makes a much bigger kaboom when dropped over a cliff.
Why was the piano invented?
So the musician would have a place to put his beer.
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
Gifted.
Why is the French horn a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.
What's the range of a tuba?
Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise?"
How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.
I'll stop here... for now... after nearly 20 years of playing I had to get a few bad jokes off my chest!
OP
Keep up those fun clean jokes, my kid is loving the new stuff....Well, so am I
JRO
Contributor
What's green and goes backwards at a hundred miles an hour?
"SNIFF"
"SNIFF"
JRO
Contributor
Well somebody had to be the one to ruin this thread with a dirty joke...might as well be me. Here goes...
Two white horses fell in the mud.
Two white horses fell in the mud.
- Messages
- 16,091
- Reaction score
- 24
- # of dives
Here a couple more...
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
A dinosnore!
What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it's full of dates!
Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pitstops during the race?
He was asking for directions!
How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life?
Tell him a joke - when he's a baby!
What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
Chicken Spocks!
What do elves do after school?
Gnomework!
Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over!
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
A dinosnore!
What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it's full of dates!
Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pitstops during the race?
He was asking for directions!
How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life?
Tell him a joke - when he's a baby!
What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
Chicken Spocks!
What do elves do after school?
Gnomework!
Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over!
OP
Those are funny!
Similar threads
