Silly Jokes

[Scuba_Jenny]

I love silly jokes, the dumber the better, you know, the elephant jokes, the jokes from an 8 yr olds joke book....

So to start you off

Who is Tarzan's Favorite Calypso Singer?
Harry Elephante

Why does a dog scratch himself?
He's the only one who knows where it itches.

There were 10 cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many were left?
None, they were all copy cats!

 

[glbirch]

Couldn't you have at least waited until I got some caffeine into my system? Oh, the horror...

 

[pipedope]

There were 10 rabbits on a boat, one jumped off, how many were left?


50

 

[diverrick]

A man walks into a bar......
OUCH!

 

[emtdan]

Whats green and sings?

Elvis Parsley

 

[glbirch]

A man walks into a bar......
OUCH!

Two men walk into a bar... you'd think the second man would have seen the first hit it...

 

[glbirch]

What do they call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses

What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?
Krisp Kringle

Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
Santa's little Elvis

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
"Rude"olph

Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen

What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down
a chimney?
Santa Claus-trophbia

The 4 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't
believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus. He looks like Santa
Claus.

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging
about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

 

[pipedope]

Three leged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my Paw!"

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his mother in law in the woods?

 

[pipedope]

Two cannibals eating a clown, one says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"