Sexual Assault: Discussion

[pilot fish]

how do you know this is what happened?

you haven't heard the full story from the diver. so why are you assuming
this is what happened?

and what else are you assuming?

just a word of caution

If you know what happened please tell us? What I'm assuming is, no rape occured at 60 ft UW while she was wearing a wetsuit. Is that correct? Is that even possible? But, I admit that is an assumption. I'm also assuming she is telling the truth.

 

[H2Andy]

no, i don't know what happened. i only know what has been said by the
diver in question on this board

at first, i assumed, like you, that it would have been aggressive touching, but
then there were a couple of things in her posts that made me think there
was more...

i simply don't know

 

[aquaoren]

ok guys, all of you who don't know the first thing about sexual assault, feel
free to show your ignorance here.

all those of you who know something about sexual assault, keep your patience
and try to educate the other group.

remember: no personal attacks, no flames, no trolling.

I'm disturbed by a moderator who is participating in a thread while moderating it at the same time.
Please Andy, don't play any cheap lawyer tricks here. I didn't read in Jason's post the same thing you read just like other members here confirmed it.
You, just like everybody else are entiteled to their opinion but don't go around and spread what you believe other have said just because you jumped to conclusions.
You can ridicule people as much as you want, don't make you any more right

 

[Squalus]

how do you know this is what happened?

you haven't heard the full story from the diver. so why are you assuming
this is what happened?

and what else are you assuming?

just a word of caution

Ummm Andy, why did you eat that big mac just now? Because you could. (Just joking, used a similarity to enlighten what was being discussed).

Predators, will act when they feel that prime opportunity is present. This is not a troll or flame that is to be intended. Like in the military, we set ambush's of opportunity if the intended target presents itself in a timely manner then the ambush is sprung.

Assuming things is the downfall of civilization, just like speculation of incidents and accidents. We were not present so all we can do is speculate, but remember in doing so. People's feelings can be hurt and the damage cannot be undone sometimes. It is best to see what we as the community can do to prevent such actions in the future. Whether this be true or not, we need to review this and make appropriate recommendations to all agencies that changes need to be made.

 

[H2Andy]

I'm disturbed by a moderator who is participating in a thread while moderating it at the same time.
Please Andy, don't play any cheap lawyer tricks here.

hehehe.... "cheap lawyer tricks"

actually, i only play expensive lawyer tricks

hey, i interpreted his comments how i interpreted them. i stand by my
assertion that it was not a personal attack to interpret his comments.

sounded to me like he didn't think women can tell the difference between
someone helping them in an emergency and a sexual assault.

and now... to defend against the "moderator moderating a thread he is
participating in" accusation: i try not to, but sometimes i have to. also, note that
i haven't deleted anybody's posts or banned anybody, or pulled the thread
or closed it.

i just started a new thread so that you all can type to your heart's content.

what exactly did i do wrong, in your eyes?

 

[Squalus]

hehehe.... "cheap lawyer tricks"

actually, i only play expensive lawyer tricks

hey, i interpreted his comments how i interpreted them. i stand by my
assertion that it was not a personal attack to interpret his comments.

sounded to me like he didn't think women can tell the difference between
someone helping them in an emergency and a sexual assault.

and now... to defend against the "moderator moderating a thread he is
participating in" accusation: i try not to, but sometimes i have to. also, note that
i haven't deleted anybody's posts or banned anybody, or pulled the thread
or closed it.

i just started a new thread so that you all can type to your heart's content.

what exactly did i do wrong, in your eyes?

Nope Andy your doing fine. I have no objections to you participating/moderating.

 

[pilot fish]

no, i don't know what happened. i only know what has been said by the
diver in question on this board

at first, i assumed, like you, that it would have been aggressive touching, but
then there were a couple of things in her posts that made me think there
was more...

i simply don't know

Since we only know what the victim said [she did not state at all what constitued a sexual assault] all of us can only assume. I have to admit, I am totally unclear on what would constitue a sexual assault on a dive, at 60 ft, in a wetsuit. Yes, I'm totally ignorant on this activity.

 

[SueMermaid]

People are chiming in to cast doubt on the original poster's story. This is where I have a problem. (And yes, before you go off on me, I know exactly what I am talking about. I was a victim of sexual assault myself).
It will be impossible for me to put into the correct words, so forgive me if it comes out wrong.
It's extremely hard for a woman to
a) Not blame herself for a sexual assault, and to
b) Go public with it so that others might avoid the same fate.

People who do not know the facts doubting and ridiculing her are more harmful than you can ever imagine. Many victims of rape and/or assault never come forward because of fear of this happening. They just take it on the chin and go on like nothing happened because they are ashamed. This is a primal wound. This pain comes out in other, much more destructive ways if it's stuffed. That is wrong. The pain of such an event is very hard to describe to those who don't understand. I have talked to many people to assumed it was no big deal, it was just sex, nobody got hurt, and that I should get over it. Many times I was told that I "asked for it" by not being more careful. Even the police force in my town asked me if I was dressed "provocatively" when I was raped.

Yes, there are stories of women crying wolf to get attention. Those women are pathetic and should be punished severely. These women are in the VAST minority.

We must NEVER assume that a woman is telling half-truths about something like this. You have NO idea how damaging that can be to a person. Think about something like this happening to your daughters and your sisters. God forbid. But how would you feel about people casting doubt on her integrity?

THINK about what you are saying.

 

[SueMermaid]

Since we only know what the victim said [she did not state at all what constitued a sexual assault] all of us can only assume. I have to admit, I am totally unclear on what would constitue a sexual assault on a dive, at 60 ft, in a wetsuit. Yes, I'm totally ignorant on this activity.

And why do you think you need to know this? It's irrelevant. It's also not for you to judge.

 

[aquaoren]

hehehe.... "cheap lawyer tricks"

actually, i only play expensive lawyer tricks

hey, i interpreted his comments how i interpreted them. i stand by my
assertion that it was not a personal attack to interpret his comments.

sounded to me like he didn't think women can tell the difference between
someone helping them in an emergency and a sexual assault.

and now... to defend against the "moderator moderating a thread he is
participating in" accusation: i try not to, but sometimes i have to. also, note that
i haven't deleted anybody's posts or banned anybody, or pulled the thread
or closed it.

i just started a new thread so that you all can type to your heart's content.

what exactly did i do wrong, in your eyes?

With cheap lawyer tricks, I ment posts exactly like this one.
You assumed something, put words in his mouth and started bashing. When caught, you started shouting louder in order to distract from your own actions.
Now, you're not even man enough to admit that you may have been wrong. As we can see: You stand proudly by your assertion. How about some personal responsibility for your own words after jumping to conclusions?
This is all I will say about your participation in this thread. If you're really as smart as you're trying to sell yourself, you'll know what I wanted to say. If not, well............