90% of the time ill be diving with 3mm suit and Al80, so alu BP and 18lb wing should be ok, but in a case I want to use a 5mm suit and steel tank should I consider a bigger wing or SS BP?
I have never needed a bigger wing than my 18lb oxycheq even in a 5mil suit with a steel tank. If you are properly weighted, you're only compensating for the compression of your wetsuit (and the weight of the gas in your tank) so 18 lbs is probably plenty for you even with a 5mil suit. Well designed 30 lb wings are not that much bigger in profile, though, so it's not like diving with a 30lb wing from oxycheq, halcyon, or DSS is any significant disadvantage over a smaller wing.
My rule of thumb for my diving is, steel plate with AL tank and vice-versa. The past few years all of my dive trips have included some doubles diving, though, and I find an AL plate better for me with AL80 doubles, go figure. (The bands and manifold are pretty heavy) So basically I'm using an AL plate most of the time.
That said, if you need 8 lbs with your standard BC, and are changing nothing except the move to a BP/W, I would go with a steel plate. You will find that having the ballast on your back is with an AL80 tank is terrific. You can approximate this by using camband weights, but it's not as good as the steel plate.
I would have no concern for ditch-able weight in warm water. You're not carrying enough ballast to be worried about not being able to swim your rig to the surface and stay there easily.
A really nice set up is the DSS steel plate with the 20lb LCD wing. Another is the oxycheq 18 lb wing with either a dive rite or oxycheq plate. There are lots of good choices. Scubapro would not be one of them IMO for a BP/W.