Sat out my first dive

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I was the *only* one to sit out a night dive when thunderstorms were forecast out of our group of 20+ divers. I was disappointed. I had good lights and diving in the dark isn't scary.

But it was worth it to watch the mad scramble out of the water and up the hill when the storm hit 30 minutes later. I think a few of the people on site had "code brown" moments...
 
I’ve called my share of dives and I’ve been diving for 25 years.
Where I dive it’s cold, it’s a lot of hard work, we have thick wetsuits and big weightbelts, we drive 1-1/2 to 2 hours or more to get to a dive site. Sometimes I don’t sleep that well the night before diving because I’m too keyed up. I don’t want to let my buddy down, I stress about forgetting gear, I get anxious about conditions being just right, etc.
Once I did a shore dive and the conditions were doable but not ideal. The guy I was diving with was a somewhat “difficult” personality to be around, but he was the only guy that could go. I was using a thick neoprene drysuit which I hated but that’s all I had at the time. I was hot and flushed trying to get geared up. The neck seal felt like it was choking me. I was profusely sweating. I didn’t sleep well the night before and I had a scratchy throat. I had to listen to this blowhard go on about stuff which was pissing me off and raising my anxiety level even higher. By the time we got in the water and started to surface swim out I was overheated and felt like I was going to pass out. I thought maybe by the time I went down I would calm down and cool down but I didn’t make it that far. I ended up hyperventilating and called it, never made it under.
The guy I was with was irritated but I told him I was off so I had to cancelled it. I never dived with that dude again.
There has also been many other times I would drive out there and sit on the shore looking at the ocean and just say nope, not today.
That’s also a big reason why I integrated into solo diving, so I could do what I wanted without affecting anybody else, including not diving if it didn’t feel right.
I don’t do a lot of charter boat diving but the times I’ve been on them I’m pretty happy just to be there so I don’t experience much or any pre dive anxiety.

I think a lot of comfort in diving starts way before the dive actually starts. Maybe even a day or two before hand. There is a whole mental preparation that goes on (or should go on) prior to a dive day to get your head straight, your gear straight, and your plan.
Most of my pre dive anxiety now involves telling my wife I want to go diving, lol 😆
 
Hey guys! I’m a newer diver - 20 something dives under my belt. I have my advanced SDI cert with nitrox. I’ve dived locally and internationally in the past year. I recently sat out my first dive.

My husband I went out on a local charter, which we have done before. I always get very nervous before dives - a lot of my anxiety was related to setting up my gear on the boat but I’ve since practiced numerous times and feel much better about that part now, and we arrived to the boat earlier this time so I was able to set up at my own pace, which was actually fairly quick! However, when we entered the water, I was fine at first but shortly after my husband descended and met me, I started to feel short of breath and a little nervous. The visibility was a little less that I what I remember it being before, however, this was our first ocean dive since last dive season and my husband assures me the visibility is as it usually is so it may have just been me. Our first dive this season was in the springs so perhaps I was comparing it to that kind of clarity. I also feel like my buoyancy was a little off and I was initially kicking a little more than I needed to which tired me out. Anyways, I signaled that something was wrong and we ended up making our way to the mooring line and ascending.

I sat out the second dive - I just felt “off” that day and was even a little teary before we drove to the dive site - from nerves. I do get very nervous before dives but have learned to push thru nerves and I always do fine and end up very happy I dived! It’s usually pre-dive nerves and once I descend I’m pretty much ok.

My husband and the DM were supportive and both commended me on not panicking and safely ending the dive, and the DM suggested on the second dive that I take my time on the line establishing buoyancy and feeling ok before I explore the wreck but I just wasn’t feeling it.

I felt like crap for the rest of the day because I’ve never bailed on a dive or sat out a dive before, I feel like I ruined my husband’s dive when he lost his dive buddy, I felt like we wasted money, and I simply felt disappointed in myself.

I guess I’m looking to hear stories of people who are active divers who sat out after having an “off” day as I described it to my husband and DM. I know I can’t be the only one and I don’t know why I feel like such crap about it. Despite always being nervous this time I was just a different kind of nervous, not in quite the right mental state and I just trusted myself.

Also, if anyone could offer up any advice in general regarding nerves - usually I do push through them, but it really does suck to feel so nervous regardless, my husband feels way more excited and doesn’t have many nerves - but I do like diving and want to learn to enjoy it even more! I feel I need to change my mindset a bit - instead of being nervous the night before I should look forward to diving and think about the positives. No one is making me do it and I’m going to have fun.

Thank you for commiserating with me, I know I’m not the only one to sit out a dive but still go on to enjoy diving and have many successful dives, I suppose it just feels embarrassing and shameful to have done so but I’m going to try to move past it and change my mindset about my next dive.
I appreciate your bringing this topic up.
I have about 200 dives. Yet, I still get nervous. Swells, currents, bad viz can all throw me off.
I recently did a liveaboard in Socorro, and it was challenging for me. My dive buddy, and the rest of the group I was with were very experienced divers. I felt like the lame one in the group:)
I skipped a couple of dives during the trip. I figured, I am here to enjoy myself, and if a particular dive is just going to stress me out, I will stay behind and relax instead.
I did still have many wonderful dives over the course of the trip!!

As for anything to prevent nerves, I review my thoughts. What things make me uncomfortable? What can I do about it? Can I practice a skill? Review dive tips/videos? Change equipment? (Eg I struggled some with currents, and got better fins--and tips online).

I am with you. Despite nerves, I love diving!!
 

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