Rock climbers please read....

[ckharlan66]

In my best cartoon rooster voice.....This is a joke son, a joke I say. Please take it as such.

I went out today to look for a climbing harness. Seemed to be a lot of buckles on those things. I am going to have to get out the 2'' webbing and order a Scubapro buckle and make my own.

How do I make a DIR climbing harness?

Chad

 

[KyMermaidDivr]

ckharlan66 once bubbled...
In my best cartoon rooster voice.....This is a joke, a joke I say. Please take it as such.

I went out today to look for a climbing harness. Seemed to be a lot of buckles on those things. I am going to have to get out the 2'' webbing and order a Scubapro buckle and make my own.

How do I make a DIR climbing harness?

Chad

You, Iggo! Chad, just forget about the harnesses you saw today and custom make a chest harness that kids wear. They're kind of like a vest with the webbing crisscrossing at the chest and back and you can borrow my helmet to protect YOUR sweet wittle head. :bonk:

 

[ckharlan66]

Maybe I could just take the wing off my backplate, use it and tie on to the crotch strap D ring.

 

[KyMermaidDivr]

ckharlan66 once bubbled...
Maybe I could just take the wing off my backplate, use it and tie on to the crotch strap D ring.

I think you might find that a little painful on the ummm ... anatomy. Nah ... not a good idea. Kind of like a wedgie, only much worse, I would think. Am I reading your thoughts right?

 

[sillygrendel]

Get a long piece of webbing and make yourself a swami belt! No buckles needed! Simple. No danglies. Custom fit every time!

Don't blame me if you take a big fall and are... Ummm.. Missing something afterwards though...

Then again... Maybe those black speedos are specially reinforced and they just run the rope through there...

Hey... What about that thong you've got!

 

[O-ring]

KyMermaidDivr once bubbled...


You, Iggo! Chad, just forget about the harnesses you saw today and custom make a chest harness that kids wear. They're kind of like a vest with the webbing crisscrossing at the chest and back and you can borrow my helmet to protect YOUR sweet wittle head. :bonk:

Helmets are not DIR..climbing isn't DIR either...this is a diving board, please go visit www.climbingisforwusses.com.

Thanks

 

[ckharlan66]

O-ring once bubbled...

Helmets are not DIR..climbing isn't DIR either...this is a diving board, please go visit www.climbingisforwusses.com.

Thanks

I am trying to make climbing DIR if you will just hold on I think we can work out a better system.

Chad

 

[O-ring]

ckharlan66 once bubbled...


I am trying to make climbing DIR if you will just hold on I think we can work out a better system.

Chad

The very act of climbing is not DIR. I would immediately stop engaging in the activity and find something more suitable to do with your time....take Mona with you too....and get those lights off her helmet before she kills herself.

 

[The Chairman]

must have a goodman handle!

Real DIR climbers don't use bungeed ascenders!

Real DIR climbers don't wear helmets!

The long rope is attached to the right side of your harness, and the short rope is tied around your neck!

You do not count the apex of your climb, but rather average it every five minutes.

You must ascend and descend the wall horizontally... don't give me any of your %#$*& excuses vertical boy!

When bouldering, you must be sure to use the modified frog leap.

When rappelling, make sure to stop every ten feet for a minute.

 

[ckharlan66]

No way, you must use SS bolt snaps. Carabiners could cause an entanglement.


Well OK they might be OK if they are SS.